Serious Girlfriend Advice...

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

Normally, I find myself knowning all the answers when it comes to women. At least, everyone elses woman. I've found that I have a lot of trouble dealing with my girlfriend. I have mild anger issues, yes. I have some problems keeping in rude insults when I get very upset, yes. But I really feel that I need some advice since my girlfriend and I are just staggering along with this issue.

Synopsis of our background ... we've been together, officially, for just over a year now. We were best friends before that. We live together. I'm 20. She's 19.

We have all the same complaints about each other so our arguments are always just a big circle jerk. We can't figure out what pisses each other off and we can't realize how to put aside our differences neatly. She's very stubborn and so am I. I always feel like everything is done her way, she feels like everything is done my way. We both feel that we are impossible.

I try and put everything behind me but I can't live my life knowning that my entire life is censored for safety. Sometimes it feels so hopeless. Other times it feels so perfect. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to terminate this relationship prematurly and have it be the biggest regret of my life, but I can't live each day thinking I'd rather die.

It feels like this big circular triangle. It hurts my head. I don't know what to do. We really do love each other. And about 80% of the time, our relationship is great. But I don't know if 80% is great enough... do I risk it all and hope I end up somewhere close to here with someone else down the road, or do I suck it up since we're both young and try and make things work out until they work out on their own?

I suppose my only major complaint about her is that she's always crabby. I can't stand it. I always feel like she has a stick up her ass and is in a bad mood. It's not just me who see's this... all my friends, her family.. everyone. I've tried to figure out what makes her so cranky, I've tried to figure out how to help her, I've talked to her, etc, etc.. but it seems that I still don't have the magic potion. I ****ing hate this. How do you leave someone you love? Should you leave someone you love due to frustration? is it even love? But what if it is love.. and frustation..

[gregger]

it could be that you are growing apart from each other and dont want to admit it. Between the age of 18 and id say somewhere around 22 you do alot of changing...esspecially if your both in school. This exact thing happened to me at 21. Sounds like you both might need some time to figure out exactly what you want.....find out what makes you both happy.....sometimes this means going your own way till you find yourself

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

This was our last AIM conversation... like 10 mins ago...

her: so what are WE gonna do? huh?
me: i'm still thinking
her: i mean
her: i love you dearly.
her: but you're not happy
her: and i am tired of being mistreated
me: amen
me: thats it
me: and like
me: i want to be happy.
me: i really deserve it.
her: i know you do
me: and you, you deserve to be treated amazingly
her: i know you deserve the best
her: and I know I fall short
her: i know I do
me: you dont fall short
me: you're just cranky
me: and i can't stand it
her: well, i fall somewhere
me: yeah but where do we fall?
her: well I fall short
her: of being perfect
me: I don't need you to be perfect.
her: because im cranky sometimes
me: Britni, it's not sometimes.
her: thats what you're asking of me, though
her: to never be cranky
me: You are more cranky/crabby than you are happy.
me: Maybe it's my fault.
her: BUT
her: maybe.
me: If there's anything I can do to make you less crabby.. god please.. any cost, any sacrifice is worth while.
her: but that's not what you said
her: all I ever asked for was for you to be nice to me
her: and stop saying mean things
me: Brit, I try to be as nice as I can
me: but I can't be nice to someone who wakes up crabby.
me: like, perpetual unhappiness.
me: there is ALWAYS something bothering you
me: it gets OLD.
her: then what can I say?
me: FIX IT.
her: i mean
her: there are NO answers for you
her: so I feel like all I can do is kiss you and part ways

[gregger]

yep..sorry to say man ...i think im right

[Harvinator]

This was our last AIM conversation... like 10 mins ago...
sounds like she just broke up with you

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

yep..sorry to say man ...i think im right
But why is she ALWAYS in a bad (crabby) mood? There has to be a reason why she is perpetually cranky that something is not right. I wish I had some answers... or the ability to just not care and live with it. But it drives me crazy.

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

sounds like she just broke up with you
Well, it doesn't work that way exactly... we live together. I'll see her after work. The real break ups are not the ones when someone yells "that's it, we're over" it's the ones that are basically mutally agreed upon.... (in THIS case, at least). We'll just have to come to terms on something.

[soheilm3]

i can't really give much good advice, as i feel there's still a lot i don't know about.

in my honest opinion and experiances with women, if your having doubts, its only going to get worst. doubts will start to build up more and more and eat you away.

my advice, stay together for now, but consider not living together. maybe its just to much to soon at your age.

--soheil
ps. im gonna give more advice as/if i learn more

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

i can't really give much good advice, as i feel there's still a lot i don't know about.

in my honest opinion and experiances with women, if your having doubts, its only going to get worst. doubts will start to build up more and more and eat you away.

my advice, stay together for now, but consider not living together. maybe its just to much to soon at your age.

--soheil
ps. im gonna give more advice as/if i learn more
Thanks. We're moving out of our apartment this June and then for next year, she'll be in the dorms again. So that may alleviate a lot of the pressure of living together.

[M3Inline6]

Normally, I find myself knowning all the answers when it comes to women. At least, everyone elses woman. I've found that I have a lot of trouble dealing with my girlfriend. I have mild anger issues, yes. I have some problems keeping in rude insults when I get very upset, yes. But I really feel that I need some advice since my girlfriend and I are just staggering along with this issue.


It's quite easy to analyze from the outside looking in. It happens to all of us. :)



Synopsis of our background ... we've been together, officially, for just over a year now. We were best friends before that. We live together. I'm 20. She's 19.

We have all the same complaints about each other so our arguments are always just a big circle jerk. We can't figure out what pisses each other off and we can't realize how to put aside our differences neatly. She's very stubborn and so am I. I always feel like everything is done her way, she feels like everything is done my way. We both feel that we are impossible.


There's one of the main issues right there. Stubborn behavior will leave you both spinning your wheels. What's worse is that you're both like that, so there isn't any rationality. Try having her give you examples of your majority rule, and vice versa. If she can't produce solid examples, chances are there is a larger issue at hand.



I try and put everything behind me but I can't live my life knowning that my entire life is censored for safety. Sometimes it feels so hopeless. Other times it feels so perfect. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to terminate this relationship prematurly and have it be the biggest regret of my life, but I can't live each day thinking I'd rather die.

It feels like this big circular triangle. It hurts my head. I don't know what to do. We really do love each other. And about 80% of the time, our relationship is great. But I don't know if 80% is great enough... do I risk it all and hope I end up somewhere close to here with someone else down the road, or do I suck it up since we're both young and try and make things work out until they work out on their own?



You sound alot like me (underlined text). I severely dislike dwelling on trivial arguments. If your relationship is that discomforting, you two might want to revamp the guidelines you've set for each other. It seems that the middle ground has yet to be met. There needs to be compromise. Without that compromise and the related communication, things will never get better and you two will eventually end up having so much discord for one another. You've been dating a year. It is still a relatively young relationship. You have time to fine tune all aspects of it, but it does take work. Sacrifice is a necessity bro. There is no two ways around it.



I suppose my only major complaint about her is that she's always crabby. I can't stand it. I always feel like she has a stick up her ass and is in a bad mood. It's not just me who see's this... all my friends, her family.. everyone. I've tried to figure out what makes her so cranky, I've tried to figure out how to help her, I've talked to her, etc, etc.. but it seems that I still don't have the magic potion. I ****ing hate this. How do you leave someone you love? Should you leave someone you love due to frustration? is it even love? But what if it is love.. and frustation..

How do you approach the issue when you try to discuss it w/ her? Is she numb to your feelings with regards to the relationship? If so, then maybe she needs to commit herself to a bit of introspection and determine why she is such an unhappy person. I don't think that severing ties is the best thing at the moment. There is still room for growth. Maybe there is an underlying issue that she's not being forthright about. Can you give more details?


*edit* ...Damn, you fu***********ckers post fast. :) I just read the AIM convo. There is major miscommunication between you two. You're both pretty short towards each other. Neither of you are willing to really open up. It seems like there is more that you're not telling us. She seems to feel like you mistreat her. What gives? Are you verbally abusive? Is she verbally abusive?

[Justin]

I can't stand it. I always feel like she has a stick up her ass and is in a bad mood.
Probably not what you want to hear, but unless she goes to counciling or gets on anti depressents, this will probably never change.

If you hate it now, you will only hate it 28348 times more in 5 years. I'd tell her to do something about it herself, or move on while you still can.

[soheilm3]

also, it seems that the two of you have competing attitudes. i've found my best relationships to be with women whom we compliment each other, not compete with each other.

but thats just the vibe i got, correct me if im wrong.
--soheil

[e46 328i]

Not that I know everything (i'm 21) but I just got out of one of those 'sucky' relationships, :argue: and I can tell you I am much happier now, I had a new gf a month later (I wish I would have waited longer) but she is pretty cool. Say good bye... :hi: you will be happy you did..

[gregger]

first off....you are freaking crazy for living with a chick this young.....and you have only been dating for 1 year......your nuts

[M3Inline6]

first off....you are freaking crazy for living with a chick this young.....and you have only been dating for 1 year......your nuts

This I'd have to agree with. You're at that age where you need to be experimenting and living the youngster's lifestyle. Only then will you be able to fully appreciate monogamy.

[MissSixty]

it could be that you are growing apart from each other and dont want to admit it. Between the age of 18 and id say somewhere around 22 you do alot of changing...esspecially if your both in school. This exact thing happened to me at 21. Sounds like you both might need some time to figure out exactly what you want.....find out what makes you both happy.....sometimes this means going your own way till you find yourself

Good point.

I'm sorry to hear about your frustrations with your relationship. The problem could very possibly be that the two of you are too young to be living together. I'm sure you've heard that time and time again, but it's true. Living together puts a huge strain on relationships, unless you two have definite plans of getting married within a year. If not, both people have this sense of openness in the relationship. It's like leaving a "backdoor" open. For example, if you get into a fight, you can just break-up or take a break. Where as, if you're married, you can't just say, "I want to take a break from you." (I mean you <i>can</i>, but that'd be weird). :dunno: It's a lot more complicated. That's also something you should think about.

You two might feel like each person is taking the other for granted. (Girls LOVE appreciation from their bf's) It's easy to fall into that rut when living together. You forget about all the good qualities or what brought you two together. Is she only crabby when she's PMSing (PMS is the period before her period which lasts for about 7-14 days then comes the PERIOD)? She's could just be unhappy with herself and it may have nothing to do with you. Maybe you guys need to take a "break". I personally don't believe in breaks, but in your case, it might help the both of you figure things out. Good luck. ;)

[gregger]

Good point.

I'm sorry to hear about your frustrations with your relationship. The problem could very possibly be that the two of you are too young to be living together. I'm sure you've heard that time and time again, but it's true. Living together puts a huge strain on relationships, unless you two have definite plans of getting married within a year. If not, both people have this sense of openness in the relationship. It's like leaving a "backdoor" open. For example, if you get into a fight, you can just break-up or take a break. Where as, if you're married, you can't just say, "I want to take a break from you." (I mean you <i>can</i>, but that'd be weird). :dunno: It's a lot more complicated. That's also something you should think about.

You two might feel like each person is taking the other for granted. (Girls LOVE appreciation from their bf's) It's easy to fall into that rut when living together. You forget about all the good qualities or what brought you two together. Is she only crabby when she's PMSing (PMS is the period before her period which lasts for about 7-14 days then comes the PERIOD)? She's could just be unhappy with herself and it may have nothing to do with you. Maybe you guys need to take a "break". I personally don't believe in breaks, but in your case, it might help the both of you figure out things. Good luck. ;)

good points....also ....breaks lead to break ups

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

It's quite easy to analyze from the outside looking in. It happens to all of us. :)
I'm learning this the hard way.


There's one of the main issues right there. Stubborn behavior will leave you both spinning your wheels. What's worse is that you're both like that, so there isn't any rationality. Try having her give you examples of your majority rule, and vice versa. If she can't produce solid examples, chances are there is a larger issue at hand.
The main problem with solid examples is that she'll point an example which, in my point of view, was simply a cause (or reaction) to her initial misdealings. So, as you can probably imagine, we end up simply accusing each other and around around we go.


You sound alot like me (underlined text). I severely dislike dwelling on trivial arguments. If your relationship is that discomforting, you two might want to revamp the guidelines you've set for each other. It seems that the middle ground has yet to be met. There needs to be compromise. Without that compromise and the related communication, things will never get better and you two will eventually end up having so much discord for one another. You've been dating a year. It is still a relatively young relationship. You have time to fine tune all aspects of it, but it does take work. Sacrifice is a necessity bro. There is no two ways around it.

How do you approach the issue when you try to discuss it w/ her? Is she numb to your feelings with regards to the relationship? If so, then maybe she needs to commit herself to a bit of introspection and determine why she is such an unhappy person. I don't think that severing ties is the best thing at the moment. There is still room for growth. Maybe there is an underlying issue that she's not being forthright about. Can you give more details?
I agree that it is a relatively young relationship. We both know that. We've both have had several previous relationships when we just said 'fu*****ck it' at the first sign of trouble or discomfort. We have come A LONG way and we're both very proud of that fact. But it just seems that sometimes I just want to rip my hair out and, of course, I make this very clear to her and thus, in turn, she accuses me of being 'mean' or 'abusive'. I've found that, sadly, the best tactic when argument occurs is to keep it going until tears are shed and her defense mechanism dissolves. Then we end up making up and trading apologies and i love you's.

also, it seems that the two of you have competing attitudes. i've found my best relationships to be with women whom we compliment each other, not compete with each other.

but thats just the vibe i got, correct me if im wrong.
I wouldn't call it competing attitudes as much as I would label it... stubborness. I think the entire 'competing' vibe that you may get is due to the fact that we had a major blow up less than an hour before the conversation.

first off....you are freaking crazy for living with a chick this young.....and you have only been dating for 1 year......your nuts
Well, we really didn't have much of a choice technically, but we knew what we were getting into and things now are sooo much better than they were which is what gives me confidence and support to keep going. Also, I stated it was officially 1 year... and we've been best friends for a long time now. But regardless, I understand how crazy it sounds... but it's been "working" I suppose.

Not that I know everything (i'm 21) but I just got out of one of those 'sucky' relationships, and I can tell you I am much happier now, I had a new gf a month later (I wish I would have waited longer) but she is pretty cool. Say good bye... you will be happy you did..
This is of course the most viable option which is what made me post this in the first place. I love the quote "The best part of breaking up is finding someone knew you can't get enough of". But sometimes you just love someone and can't walk away so easily!

[gregger]

alot of times (esspecially in your case cause your living together) it is easier to stay together than break up. Follow what you really know is true even if its not the easy path. oh yeah dont show her this thread like some other moron did a month or so ago when he had problems with his girl.....she might kick you in the balls

[soheilm3]

i've been thinkin more and more, don't break up, rather move out and stay together.

that i think would be the healthiest thing to do. it will do one of two things:

1. you'll enjoy your new life, and find it easier to break up, and ull move on much better
2. you'll miss your old life, making you appreciate what you had, and chances are she will to. u guys will make more of an effort to see each other, spend more quality time together, and will generally appreciate what you have all the more.

its a win win. its just we are young, and though the idea of living with the one we "love" seems great, its just not the time yet. the reason you get mad at each other is because your together so much, and you don't have much else to do. thats why you feel like you need to drive each other to tears, because you need to as much as possible, cause she's not going to go away. in a normal relationship, ud argue, get mad, take some time away, but then talk.

in your case, you've moved the timetable drastically ahead by living together. this as a result may have sped up the speed at which you need to cycle through emotions. since you can't escape the emotions, they will build up more and more. hence why you love her so much, yet get so mad at her.

hope something i said made sense, best of luck
--soheil

[Anthony]

sorry, didnt read all the responses...

but sounds like you moved in too soon too young. living with someone is not dating anymore, its a big commitment. you guys have no time away from each other. you still need to live your own lives. you both are very young (notice, i did not say immature).

when you get older, you will realize, you can not make major changes in anyone, esp. if they do not honestly realize their own faults. it just wont happen. sounds like you guys are growing apart, and the flame may be slowly dying. you can still love someone, and not actually be head over heels IN LOVE with them anymore, its natural. you were good friends that gave the romantic angle a try, it worked for about a year, and now it aint going well.

im not saying to give up, but sounds like you really care, or you wouldnt be coming on here asking for help. can either of you move home? you guys need to not see each other ALL THE TIME.

if she is cranky, have you tried to find out what is stressing her? school, work, family, or YOU even? life and love has a lot of grey area, there is a lot of inbetween, so when you ask her whats wrong, she will tell you nothing, but you know its not nothing, its a whole lot of something.

whatever you decide, good luck man.

btw: viagra and condoms will solve everything. :D

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

Thanks for the comments. I'm going to have to try and pick up where I left off. I can move out and still commute to school, but she can't. So I'll probably see what I can do. She can't afford the place alone (damn Irvine) so I'll probably still pay the rent. I'll have a big talk with her tonight. I prefer it would be sooner because I'll cool down and I want her to hear everything I got to say because it sounds so much better when I'm still upset.

[JoeyGoodfella]

wow bro... can I just say... my girl is always crabby too!!! It's the same way with me. She has this attitude that I just can't stand sometimes. But we were friends at first but then became bf/g/f about 3 months ago. Most of the time I just suck it up an dignore it. I'm always trying to be nice to her. At first I thought it was her period then I thought it was her birth control that made her crazy, but now I realize it's just part of her. I don't think I can deal with it anymore... so pretty much next time she picks a fight with me, it'll hopefully be the final one. Because I'm not wasting anymore time being the nice guy.
BTW way is your girl Russian? Cause mine is and I think she has that Russian attitude.

[soheilm3]

Thanks for the comments. I'm going to have to try and pick up where I left off. I can move out and still commute to school, but she can't. So I'll probably see what I can do. She can't afford the place alone (damn Irvine) so I'll probably still pay the rent. I'll have a big talk with her tonight. I prefer it would be sooner because I'll cool down and I want her to hear everything I got to say because it sounds so much better when I'm still upset.

find her a roomate, DO NOT pay her rent. i've seen to many begin to take that road, and it is not a road you want to be on.

i don't know your girl, but think worst case scenario, she'll keep you around cause your paying her rent, yet be going around f*ing other guys.

chances are your saying in your head, not my girl, never, she would never do that. take advantage of me? never.

but then ask yourself, how many times have you ever said that "this girl would never (fill in the blank)" and did.

--soheil

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

wow bro... can I just say... my girl is always crabby too!!! It's the same way with me. She has this attitude that I just can't stand sometimes. But we were friends at first but then became bf/g/f about 3 months ago. Most of the time I just suck it up an dignore it. I'm always trying to be nice to her. At first I thought it was her period then I thought it was her birth control that made her crazy, but now I realize it's just part of her. I don't think I can deal with it anymore... so pretty much next time she picks a fight with me, it'll hopefully be the final one. Because I'm not wasting anymore time being the nice guy.
BTW way is your girl Russian? Cause mine is and I think she has that Russian attitude.
Nope. blonde hair blue eyed.... but german/italian descent. But I totally feel you. 3 months? Man, I lasted 12. imagine my anger, pain and frustration!!!1

[soheilm3]

Nope. blonde hair blue eyed.... but german/italian descent. But I totally feel you. 3 months? Man, I lasted 12. imagine my anger, pain and frustration!!!1

add a few more years to that then...
--soheil

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

find her a roomate, DO NOT pay her rent. i've seen to many begin to take that road, and it is not a road you want to be on.

i don't know your girl, but think worst case scenario, she'll keep you around cause your paying her rent, yet be going around f*ing other guys.

chances are your saying in your head, not my girl, never, she would never do that. take advantage of me? never.

but then ask yourself, how many times have you ever said that "this girl would never (fill in the blank)" and did.

--soheil
She's not at all like that at all. She would never be ****ing some other guys while I pay my share of the rent. I know what you're saying, but honestly, part of my problems with her is that she's not the most 'normal' girl around, hahaha. And I actually mean that in a good way. She's not so influenced which is great but also causes me a lot of grief.

Actually, she'll have a much more difficult time ever moving on than me. Finding her a roommate is not too feasible since we're in April and the lease is up June. So, I'll either be in and out of the place or simply live there for the next two months.

[MissSixty]

wow bro... can I just say... my girl is always crabby too!!! It's the same way with me. She has this attitude that I just can't stand sometimes. But we were friends at first but then became bf/g/f about 3 months ago. Most of the time I just suck it up an dignore it. I'm always trying to be nice to her. At first I thought it was her period then I thought it was her birth control that made her crazy, but now I realize it's just part of her. I don't think I can deal with it anymore... so pretty much next time she picks a fight with me, it'll hopefully be the final one. Because I'm not wasting anymore time being the nice guy.
BTW way is your girl Russian? Cause mine is and I think she has that Russian attitude.


Remember the "Ask Anything/Say Anything Thread?" from awhile back? I remember you asked on that thread whether or not it'd be okay to hook-up with a friend that you found attractive. Is this the same girl that you wanted to hook up with? (Sorry for thread jacking, didn't mean to)

[gregger]

wow bro... can I just say... my girl is always crabby too!!! It's the same way with me. She has this attitude that I just can't stand sometimes. But we were friends at first but then became bf/g/f about 3 months ago. Most of the time I just suck it up an dignore it. I'm always trying to be nice to her. At first I thought it was her period then I thought it was her birth control that made her crazy, but now I realize it's just part of her. I don't think I can deal with it anymore... so pretty much next time she picks a fight with me, it'll hopefully be the final one. Because I'm not wasting anymore time being the nice guy.
BTW way is your girl Russian? Cause mine is and I think she has that Russian attitude.

oh sheet ...is their something i should know about russians ?

[soheilm3]

She's not at all like that at all. She would never be ****ing some other guys while I pay my share of the rent. I know what you're saying, but honestly, part of my problems with her is that she's not the most 'normal' girl around, hahaha. And I actually mean that in a good way. She's not so influenced which is great but also causes me a lot of grief.

Actually, she'll have a much more difficult time ever moving on than me. Finding her a roommate is not too feasible since we're in April and the lease is up June. So, I'll either be in and out of the place or simply live there for the next two months.

like i said buddy, i don't know your girl, and im thinkin worst case scenario. im jus keepin an eye out for you.

but yeah, if rents up in june, get out, deal with the two monthes rent, and see what happens come june.

--soheil

[Anthony]

does she still go out alone with her girl friends and stuff? maybe you guys should do your own thing sometimes, if moving out is not possible. remember, all the stuff we're saying to you are just options and things to think about. we're not professional counselors. telling her that you are moving out could have quick dramatic effects, which may not go the direction you want.

but again, good luck.

and always remember, you are still very young, life goes on man, it is never the end of the world. dont waste your life trippin about shiet you cant control, life is too short. do what you got to do and live with it.

you dated a friend to find out IF it would work out, guess not if you cant resolve your current issues. so life goes on, and you try again.

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

This thread in a matter of say less than two hours has helped me more than any of my real life friends. I think the bonus is that I get to write things out and explain them more clearly than I could with some boys whilst shooting pool in my house. She just called me at work because I have refused to pick up my cell phone... 23 missed calls and counting...

---- The Update ----

Let me explain that everything you guys have said is right on the money.

[1] We're too young to live together. Relationships are difficult. Living together is difficult. Being young is difficult. All three of them together is no easy task.

[2] I've had two major problems with my girlfriend.. which has led to my initial frustration and desperation of a resolution. Hence, why I posted in the first place.
[a] I could not stand her constant crabbiness.
[b] I could not believe that she even refused to work on herself. <-- this is what really pissed me off.

This is how things went down.. she called me and she was crying (while driving to work). She said that she knows she's very difficult and she knows she has major things to work through and that she loves me so much and couldn't imagine her life without me by her side. I told her that was great, but we still had a lot of things to work / talk about. I basically told her that the majority of our problems are due to the fact that we hang out too much. We definitely need to have our own lives in addition to our life together. We need to, not take a break, but space and pace ourselves correctly. She also apologized for bringing up my ex-gf into the mix... (seriously it was like random!) and said she was just so upset she didn't know what else to do but try and win her argument. We basically made up but with a very strong emphasis on "we are not going down this path again".

One of the best things about this relationship has been its up and downs. But her determination to bring things up after I let go has surprised me a lot because that's completely out of her character. I suppose you can't assume everything about a person, regardless, of how well you think you know them.

Thank you everyone for the comments. it helped put a lot of it into perspective. We'll see where we are again this June.

[Anthony]

Now her admitting that she does have things to work on is still very far from her actually trying to do something about it. people cry for various reasons...very hurt...about to be hurt...about to lose something...things not going their way...they see closure down the road....could be anything. you are her blanket..and now she is scared that you cant cover her any more. if you smother each other, and dont find that precious 'alone' time, you guys wont be able to enjoy each other's company when you do see each other.

but sounds like you see some light, so keep working at it, and keep us posted. good luck again.

[PeRsIaN_PiMp]

Now her admitting that she does have things to work on is still very far from her actually trying to do something about it. people cry for various reasons...very hurt...about to be hurt...about to lose something...things not going their way...they see closure down the road....could be anything. you are her blanket..and now she is scared that you cant cover her any more. if you smother each other, and dont find that precious 'alone' time, you guys wont be able to enjoy each other's company when you do see each other.

but sounds like you see some light, so keep working at it, and keep us posted. good luck again.
Oh yes, I agree absolutely. But you have to understand that for her to simply articulate the possibility of her being wrong is just a large step in the right direction that it gives me enough hope to make our relationship last. I really hope I haven't propositioned my relationship in too much of a bad light, I just was very upset and frustrated about the entire sitatuion and I thought some E46'er could help me out (which worked perfectly, thanks again).

[M3Inline6]

I just was very upset and frustrated about the entire sitatuion and I thought some E46'er could help me out (which worked perfectly, thanks again).

Yeah, we are the bomb aren't we? :P :thumbup: Good luck bro!

[Anthony]

Yeah, we are the bomb aren't we? :P :thumbup: Good luck bro!
hey post wh ore, i believe i was the one being quoted when he said thanks. :)

[gregger]

were all glad to help bro......but make sure you keep all this mind...good luck :thumbup:

[soheilm3]

nice to hear your feeling better.

but rememeber you need to still move out.

on a side note, one of my ex's just called me back lol. if i don't talk to her for two days, she thinks im mad at her lol.

--soheil

[JoeyGoodfella]

Remember the "Ask Anything/Say Anything Thread?" from awhile back? I remember you asked on that thread whether or not it'd be okay to hook-up with a friend that you found attractive. Is this the same girl that you wanted to hook up with? (Sorry for thread jacking, didn't mean to)

wow.... why yes.... yes it is. I grew some balls and just kissed her one night. She kissed back. We started dating more... then one thing led to another bada bing, bada boom she's my girlfriend now. :pimpin:

[310 Ryda]

We live together. I'm 20. She's 19.




Theres your problem bro...

[JoeyGoodfella]

Nope. blonde hair blue eyed.... but german/italian descent. But I totally feel you. 3 months? Man, I lasted 12. imagine my anger, pain and frustration!!!1

WoW... I'll trade ya.. mine is hald russian half turkish... I'm full Italian so I really would'nt mind that italian side of her. But the german attitude is just as bad as the the Russian. & 12 months... it's been too long.. your seriously too young especially to be living with her. I went out with a girl for 3 years. Never again unless I'm planning on marrying the women. Kick her out the door and you'll be much better off. G'luck!

[amdspitfire]

dump the koss bro, if ur not happy get rid of them.

i go 2 uci 2, theres plenty of other jendehs

[M3Inline6]

hey post wh ore, i believe i was the one being quoted when he said thanks. :)

But I'm your daddy, so I'm entitled to praise before you! :)