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-   -   Am I a nutjob for thinking about counseling? (http://forum.e46fanatics.com/showthread.php?t=725394)

HellFish 12-07-2009 07:28 PM

Am I a nutjob for thinking about counseling?
 
I am in a dysfunctional relationship and in my opinion, its not a matter of if we break it off, its just when.

The main mental hurdle I have is the thought of her dating (and having sex with) other people. By nature I live kind of a boring lifestyle so that makes it a lot more difficult. We have broken up before briefly and thoughts like this just consumed me. I know a lot of people's responses about this topic are simply "you have to get over it and it will go away eventually", but I feel like I am having a harder time than most with this issue. Anyway, I am thinking about seeing a family counselor to try and get me over this hurdle in my life. Am I nuts for doing this?

p.s. I don't really want to go to a doctor - i have zero interest in taking any medication to deal with this.

TheRusski 12-07-2009 07:34 PM

you have 3 options:

1) Wait a while and you will get over it ( I think its the worst option )
2) Go see a doctor
3) Go out and bang some other chick....and trust me you will get over it faster thn you ever thought

NJ///M 12-07-2009 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EuroBmrDude (Post 11000743)
you have 3 options:

1) Wait a while and you will get over it ( I think its the worst option )
2) Go see a doctor
3) Go out and bang some other chick....and trust me you will get over it faster thn you ever thought

Option 3 :werd:

seriously the best way to get over someone is to get into someone else. Its perfectly natural to have those feelings about your ex, I harbored them for a while with one of mine. It drove me nuts and made my blood run cold when I thought about it. After banging the next girl, I can care less what she does.

TheRusski 12-07-2009 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJ///M (Post 11001748)
Option 3 :werd:

seriously the best way to get over someone is to get into someone else. Its perfectly natural to have those feelings about your ex, I harbored them for a while with one of mine. It drove me nuts and made my blood run cold when I thought about it. After banging the next girl, I can care less what she does.

LOL sooo true......:rofl:

JJR4884 12-07-2009 10:44 PM

in all honesty... (sorry guys) but the concern shouldn't be about "bangin" another girl. The OP seems like he has a very deep emotional attachment to his gf, as well as to their physical part

personally i think "bangin" a new girl will not fix anything, just seems like its a lot deeper than that....

OP, you need to find yourself and find happiness... until then it is going to be a bumpy road. sorry to say but a new snatch isn't going to ease your mind... a new relationship however might :idea:

TheRusski 12-07-2009 10:46 PM

^ New relationship = even more problems

JJR4884 12-07-2009 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EuroBmrDude (Post 11001901)
^ New relationship = even more problems

lol.. i know i've been through plenty of them.. however there is a such thing as a successful relationship

you just gotta know when to jump ship before the problems arise :eeps:

TheRusski 12-07-2009 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJR4884 (Post 11001918)
lol.. i know i've been through plenty of them.. however there is a such thing as a successful relationship

you just gotta know when to jump ship before the problems arise :eeps:

LOL I still cant figure that out....maybe thats why I act the way I act lol

JJR4884 12-07-2009 11:09 PM

;)

NJ///M 12-07-2009 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJR4884 (Post 11001891)
in all honesty... (sorry guys) but the concern shouldn't be about "bangin" another girl. The OP seems like he has a very deep emotional attachment to his gf, as well as to their physical part

personally i think "bangin" a new girl will not fix anything, just seems like its a lot deeper than that....

OP, you need to find yourself and find happiness... until then it is going to be a bumpy road. sorry to say but a new snatch isn't going to ease your mind... a new relationship however might :idea:

To each their own, It could be my age, or it could be my personality but after the next girl I feel fresh and no longer think about the ex as much.

HellFish 12-07-2009 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJ///M (Post 11002070)
To each their own, It could be my age, or it could be my personality but after the next girl I feel fresh and no longer think about the ex as much.

Well I have been with this one for over 4 years. (im 24), and had a 6 month relationship with her when I was 16. So we go way back to say the least.

Keno 12-08-2009 12:51 AM

To put it shortly, you would be "nuts" if you DID NOT seek professional help. The faster you tackle the problem, the faster you will get over it, allowing you to stop wasting your life feeling miserable about yourself and more time being productive and getting what you want out of a relationship/life.

Anyway, judging by your previous posts on your relationship, you make it seem like she is very outgoing, sociable and adventurous - so much so that her social prowess intimidates you (especially when you realize her lifestyle puts her around more men than your lifestyle women).

Next, Its obvious that you are putting her through a lot of sh1t by constantly putting her "on thin ice." It seems as if you do this to hurt her because you "know" she will hurt you and are setting up your defenses for when you two finally part ways. However, you are normal and not psycho because you realize this behavior is egocentric and obsessive and are willing to correct it so that you and her can both go on and be happy. You need to man-up, accept the fact that her life after you is not of your concern, and that you need to enjoy life and enjoy the hunt.

JoeVert 12-08-2009 11:10 AM

"professional help" is a joke. If you see it as "only a matter of time" then its going to be "only a matter of time". Professional help will only delay the inevidible. All counseling does is give you a room where you can vent your frustrations. If you can't already do this in the privacy of your own home then its hopeless and its time to move on.

edit: just to be clear I am talking about couples counseling, not personal counseling. If the latter is what you need after a breakup by all means try it out, but the former is useless.

SLVR JDM 12-08-2009 11:40 AM

If I'm reading this right, you're still in the relationship, correct? If you assume you'll be breaking up, then break up now. Don't wait. Trust me.

When you bring up counseling, I would only recommend this after having broken up and dealing with it yourself. If months go by and you can't move on, get help. There is nothing at all wrong with that.

If you are getting help to try to salvage your relationship, don't do it. If you are dating and you already need counseling, the relationship is not worth saving.

\\\VLADA 12-08-2009 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joevert (Post 11004441)
"professional help" is a joke. If you see it as "only a matter of time" then its going to be "only a matter of time". Professional help will only delay the inevidible. All counseling does is give you a room where you can vent your frustrations. If you can't already do this in the privacy of your own home then its hopeless and its time to move on.

Edit: Just to be clear i am talking about couples counseling, not personal counseling. If the latter is what you need after a breakup by all means try it out, but the former is useless.

+1

Keno 12-08-2009 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeVert (Post 11004441)
"professional help" is a joke. If you see it as "only a matter of time" then its going to be "only a matter of time". Professional help will only delay the inevidible. All counseling does is give you a room where you can vent your frustrations. If you can't already do this in the privacy of your own home then its hopeless and its time to move on.

edit: just to be clear I am talking about couples counseling, not personal counseling. If the latter is what you need after a breakup by all means try it out, but the former is useless.

O word. If you were talking about couples counseling, forget. I am 100% against it. But, as stated before, I am 100% FOR counseling to rid yourself of the serious pain from the thought that your ex will be intimate with another man.

So ya, break it off, and get counseling to help you ride it out until you got an emotional handle on things.


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