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-   -   I'm jealous as hell. (http://forum.e46fanatics.com/showthread.php?t=769706)

DME46 06-06-2010 04:49 PM

I'm jealous as hell.
 
Unless I know the guy, if some dude talks to my girl I find myself uncontrollably aggravated. Then I find myself angry and irritable, especially towards my girlfriend.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I know my girlfriend only wants me, but I can't help but want to bash every guy's head in that asks her to hang out. I trust my girlfriend not to mess around, but I HATE other guys. Most guys don't give a sh1t if a girl is in a relationship or not. Seldom does a guy want to hang out with a girl just to be friendly, at least at this age (I'm 20.)

This isn't just with my current girlfriend, but I've had this problem throughout all my relationships. Its not an issue with women, its an issue with other guys. I feel like they are trying to piss on my tree, so to speak. I find the need to rip their throats out before they even think about pissing on my tree.


Is this immaturity? Insecurity? Masculinity?

Mike325i 06-06-2010 04:57 PM

Insecurity and knowing damn well that the guy doesn't just want to "hang" out with your girl.

russ330 06-06-2010 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DME46 (Post 11840620)
Is this immaturity?

This.

I'm not saying you're an immature little dope, it's just something that most men grow out of. I was much the same at your age, now, not so much.

HyeWarrior 06-06-2010 05:00 PM

Probably a combination of the three. If you know that you can trust her around other people, you have a blessing. Yes it sucks when other guys hang out with your chick, but I hang out with girls in relationships all the time and its never an issue (I'm 20 as well). Now if some guy is hitting on her and asks her out, thats a different story. I think you need to just chill out, and have a nice civil talk with your girl about this.

kosnosferatu 06-06-2010 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IntegGeezer2Bimmer (Post 11840677)
if you feel like that towards to your girlfriend, i guess you are a one ugly guy. you are one of those guys that are too scared to loose their girlfriend its mainly because you dont have self cofidence because ur ugly to find a new *****, well if you think ur ugly, at least have some confidence to yourself, and put it in your head that there are a lot of *****es in the ocean.

yeah...and then he would turn into a douche bag who walks around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment.... :facepalm:

OP: your problem isn't with other men, it's that you are worried you aren't good enough for your gf to stick around or to be faithful. it's somethign you will never be able to "prove". just let your girlfriend do as she wants, and if she ****s up, then it's not your problem and you don't need a girl like that anyways.

GlockMan 06-06-2010 05:11 PM

If you really trusted your girlfriend, you would not care.

JMO

IntegGeezer2Bimmer 06-06-2010 05:20 PM

learn how to play a game !! i bet some dude is boning your gf when youre not around, haha:lmao:, you dont have to be jelous, just do the same thing and watch later on she will be up on you. ignore her little by little and start looking for other chick but dont tell anyone because a lot of snitchers around these days. don't dump her just ignore a little and she'll notice it. if she ask tell her that youre just busy. if she doesn't notice that youre ignoring her, that means she doesn't care about you. meaning she's being hump by a dude and you need to move on. be a man:evil: you should listen to tom leykis show @ http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ you will learn a lot about relationship

mvrk10256 06-06-2010 05:26 PM

just relax. the reason i say this is b/c i have been there. your girl is gonna do what she gonna do, aint got nothing to do with you.
\
rules of relationships:
she chills w/ other guys but nothign happen and trust isnt broken relax
she fvcks some dude, dump her and teach the prick a lesson.

life is simple. keep it that way.

HEAVYLIFT 06-06-2010 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HyeWarrior (Post 11840662)
Probably a combination of the three. .

this.

the feeling you have, is normal, you want your woman all for yourself, that is more than normal, is healthy.
but then the way you react to it, and the tactic you deploy, is nothing but wrong, especially
Quote:

angry and irritable, especially towards my girlfriend.
even if she reacts to this, by avoiding talking or smiling to other guys, because of your reaction , (cause of course her more than anyone knows, how you react) in the end you are only given her power, cause she understand, how with so litle, she can afect you.
that leverage of power that you give her, is what, with time and routine will deteriorate your relation.
this is relationships psychology 1:1

Keno 06-06-2010 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kosnosferatu (Post 11840695)
yeah...and then he would turn into a douche bag who walks around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment.... :facepalm:

OP: your problem isn't with other men, it's that you are worried you aren't good enough for your gf to stick around or to be faithful. it's somethign you will never be able to "prove". just let your girlfriend do as she wants, and if she ****s up, then it's not your problem and you don't need a girl like that anyways.

THISSSS. What ever you do, don't get all controlling with her or show that you feel she can do better. If you express that you may not be good enough for her this way, she will end up believing it. Just relax these thoughts and it won't happen (it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy type deal).

Also, perhaps you're projecting your own issues onto her. for example, maybe you find yourself thinking about getting with other women/cheating to the extent that it feels unhealthy. You could be using her to hide behind your own flaws.

Either way, this will take some time to grow out of. At least you recognize the problem and are actively seeking help to rectify it. Be proud of that and recognize that this is what separates you from the vast majority of men who your gf comes in contact with. To women, the security that their bf won't leave them > anything else in life.

Just make sure you're paying attention to her instead of zoning out every time more than 4 words come out of her mouth, lol.

russ330 06-06-2010 05:52 PM

Jesus, I've seen you post about that guys radio show 3 times within the last hour, no one cares.

HEAVYLIFT 06-06-2010 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IntegGeezer2Bimmer (Post 11840846)
wt is this, i guess you should become a student of leykis 101, you should listen to http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ its a radio station and you will learn af lot more than what your relationships psychology teaches you.

that was just my opinion, based on my live and experience, I was ,once upon a time, like the OP, and that only bring me grief.

ps: i didnīt mean to imply that i study any kind of subject on this matter, i said "relatioships psychology 1:1" like an expression, i have learned what I learned in life, by banging with my head on the wall, not from listening to the radio.

Keno 06-06-2010 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IntegGeezer2Bimmer (Post 11840846)
wtf is this, i guess you should become a student of leykis 101, you should listen to http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ its a radio station and you will learn a lot more than what your relationships psychology teaches you.

OMG. ur a student too? haha, i was lucky enough to listen to him live on 97.1. you can find all his good stuff on youtube. t-t-taaaaoooomm leykis

IntegGeezer2Bimmer 06-06-2010 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HEAVYLIFT (Post 11840983)
that was just my opinion, based on my live and experience, I was ,once upon a time, like the OP, and that only bring me grief.

ps: i didnīt mean to imply that i study any kind of subject on this matter, i said "relatioships psychology 1:1" like an expression, i have learned what I learned in life, by banging with my head on the wall, not from listening to the radio.

you will not learn untill someone teaches you that knows something

Rotha 06-06-2010 06:47 PM

im trying to get out of it. same boat as you DME. I usually dont take it out on the girl though.

It's hard. though.

DME46 06-06-2010 07:49 PM

Thanks for the advice guys. Good luck to those of you with the same problem. And no I'm not ugly lol. I think the projection is spot on. Thankfully my girl puts up with me. I need to chill out.

IntegGeezer2Bimmer 06-06-2010 07:56 PM

let someone buy you a beer(blue moon)

Mike Larry 06-06-2010 09:16 PM

at least you understand that you have this problem. i have several friends who are also extremely jealous. they're otherwise great guys, but they just get so irrationally jealous that it ruins their relationships. one of them doesnt even think he's wrong. you'd do yourself a huge favor if you fixed this problem sooner than later

IFX 06-06-2010 09:36 PM

I don't even think it's about immaturity.

Its the fact that us dudes are ****ed up, and don't give a **** if a girl is in a relationship or not.

DylloS 06-07-2010 09:11 AM

Dude I feel exactly the same but I try not to show it. The problem is exactly what you said. They don't care she has a bf. My gf always says "they know I have a bf" and I'm like listen, guys don't give a sh1t. They'll do anything they can to get with you. She hates that because I basically tell her no guy just wants to be her friend. Especially if they are coming around after we started dating. Guys she's friends with before me I can deal with. But she honestly doesn't need to add any new guys to her phone book unless they're my friend too or a work acquaintance or something along those lines. That may sound like a d1ckhead thing but it makes sense and I think you can agree.

Good topic btw. Too bad it's in loveline where no one checks.


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