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-   -   First date lined up..... (http://forum.e46fanatics.com/showthread.php?t=784883)

Mark M 08-13-2010 01:34 PM

First date lined up.....
 
Well, after about four months since the ex randomly broke it off with me I have a date with a new girl lined up tomorrow evening.

Gave the ex a couple chances to come back together and work out the issues, but typical flighty woman, she was gone, or too stuborn to let her walls back down. Like I said before, I am not the type to lose my dignity over a woman. Sure I had many sleepless nights and that constant pit in my gut, but hey....gotta move on.

About 2 or so weeks ago I took a gamble and opened up a match.com acct. Found a girl in my area that I really liked. You know, the kinda girl that actually took the time to write a good profile instead of relying on her looks to just get a guy's interest. Then, I took the time to carefully write her, complimenting, commeting on similar things, etc. Showing that I paid attention to her profile and was genuinly interested in knowing more about her, not just trolling for whoever bites at the line.

Anyway, fast forward, we had a few emails, talked on the phone once, and are going out tomorrow. So far I am excited. This one is an attractive smart and motivated brunette.

Oh, and to all those going through breakups, it is nothing like a new female to captivate your interest and help you see all the flaws of your ex and move onward with your life.

Now which car do I use for the date? lol. e46 325xi sedan = practical yet stylish and down to earth. Or the M3s, e46 or e30? :)

Think the 325 will be the car for the evening. I am 35 not 22. Trying to attract a higher caliber of female here.

So boys....sure breakups suck...but the sooner you get back in the game the quicker you will heal. Even if she only turns out to be a rebound, you will come out stronger.

Bartacus 08-13-2010 02:13 PM

"The best way to get over a woman is to get under another one." :D Truer words have never been spoken.

Keno 08-13-2010 02:47 PM

If she is remotely interesting and pretty, it will be next to impossible for you to take things slow. I can tell you're already on the path to rebound from the diction of your post. That said, live it up, feed your ego and get this insecurity outta your system. Go with what your gut tells you to do when it comes to car selection (3 second instinctual choices > hours of contemplation). Anyway, I just finished a rebound last week. PM me if u need advice.

Mark M 08-13-2010 03:01 PM

Yup, I am trying to really rebound and boost my ego here.

I really did have feelings for the ex and wanted to salvage things, sure we had flaws....but all relationships have flaws. What makes them work is when both people stand like adults and work together to solve it for the sake of the relationship, not for her or for him. I was willing to do that, she wasn't. She up and ran. Which is her past history. She is a product of her upbringing, had a poor childhood, and developed survival skills that cause her to run and build walls whenever she feels rough times coming on.
The new girl seems much more stable and had a legit upbringing with two loving parents who are still married, just like mine.

So, whether this is something that will last or just a short-term rebound, dunno. But it is working to strengthen and recharge me. :)

Oh, and I will be using the regular 325. I don't want to brag it up, rather I want to be real here.

CRSmoak 08-13-2010 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark M (Post 12117628)
Well, after about 5 weeks since the ex randomly broke it off with me I have a date with a new girl lined up tomorrow evening.

Gave the ex a couple chances to come back together and work out the issues, but typical flighty woman, she was gone, or too stuborn to let her walls back down. Like I said before, I am not the type to lose my dignity over a woman. Sure I had many sleepless nights and that constant pit in my gut, but hey....gotta move on.

About 2 or so weeks ago I took a gamble and opened up a match.com acct. Found a girl in my area that I really liked. You know, the kinda girl that actually took the time to write a good profile instead of relying on her looks to just get a guy's interest. Then, I took the time to carefully write her, complimenting, commeting on similar things, etc. Showing that I paid attention to her profile and was genuinly interested in knowing more about her, not just trolling for whoever bites at the line.

Anyway, fast forward, we had a few emails, talked on the phone once, and are going out tomorrow. So far I am excited. This one is an attractive smart and motivated brunette.

Oh, and to all those going through breakups, it is nothing like a new female to captivate your interest and help you see all the flaws of your ex and move onward with your life.

Now which car do I use for the date? lol. e46 325xi sedan = practical yet stylish and down to earth. Or the M3s, e46 or e30? :)

Think the 325 will be the car for the evening. I am 35 not 22. Trying to attract a higher caliber of female here.

So boys....sure breakups suck...but the sooner you get back in the game the quicker you will heal. Even if she only turns out to be a rebound, you will come out stronger.

Little tip...

Don't compliment her directly instead compliment her choices. Complimenting her directly will only show to her that you're already interested. Basically it'll make you seem easy, even if only a little. Complimenting her choices however, say her hair, or nails, will convey to her that you approve of her choices. Complimenting her this way is much more effective as she'll like the compliment but she'll also feel like you just APPROVED something she did, making it seem like you're the one of a higher value. Women want what they can't have remember. ;)

CRSmoak 08-13-2010 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark M (Post 12117975)
Yup, I am trying to really rebound and boost my ego here.

I really did have deep feelings for the ex and wanted to salvage things, sure we had flaws....but all relationships have flaws. What makes them work is when both people stand like adults and work together to solve it for the sake of the relationship, not for her or for him. I was willing to do that, she wasn't. She up and ran. Which is her past history. She is a product of her upbringing, had a poor childhood, and developed survival skills that cause her to run and build walls whenever she feels rough times coming on. I did want to work though it and did want to be a stand-up man with her. But hey...like I said, she shut the door, so time for me to move on.

The new girl seems much more stable and had a legit upbringing with two loving parents who are still married, just like mine.

So, whether this is something that will last or just a short-term rebound, dunno. But it is working to strengthen and recharge me. :)

Oh, and I will be using the regular 325. I don't want to brag it up, rather I want to be real here.

Ok honestly the first thing you need to do is stop blaming her, it's your fault not hers that she left. It was your job to keep her interested not the other way around. That said, figure out YOUR mistakes, learn from them and move on.

Good luck on the date though :thumbup:

Mark M 08-13-2010 03:15 PM

Respectfully I disagree to some extent. Sure it is the man's role as provider and dominant one in the relationship to keep her interested. However, commitment is also fundamental here. All relationships go through tough times. What makes a relationship bulletproof is how well they both handle the tough times and hunker down through the storm and work to fix issues. Sure I am not without fault. But I was willing to address it and correct.

CRSmoak 08-13-2010 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark M (Post 12118028)
Respectfully I disagree to some extent. Sure it is the man's role as provider and dominant one in the relationship to keep her interested. However, commitment is also fundamental here. All relationships go through tough times. What makes a relationship bulletproof is how well they both handle the tough times and hunker down through the storm and work to fix issues. Sure I am not without fault. But I was willing to address it and correct.

Honestly, it doesn't matter if you disagree, it is what it is. A women will never take responsibility to what happens in or to a relationship wether it be bad or even good. They may imply to you as if they're taking some responsibility but in the end she will always figure out a way to turn the responsibility back onto you, it's instinctual. Bottom line, you still liked her, she did her job. She didn't still like you (not enough anyway) so obviously you didn't do yours. That whole "every relationship has it's problems" is only true because people are ignorant and don't know **** about how relationships actually work! Frankly, for many, it's just a cop out.

Really though, it shouldn't matter to you if it's technically your fault or not (and it is!), you should always take responsibility for it because by doing so it'll allow you to recognize your mistakes easier.

Mark M 08-15-2010 10:43 AM

First date went great, I can tell this one really is a quality girl. Funny, inteligent, responsbile, driven, possesses substance. Meaning she is not thin or shallow.

Met up for drinks, then I took her to a baseball game. Good conversation and laughs the whole night, no awkward silence. We both agree there will be a second date, but like I said, she is a quality girl. That impresses me and deminishes the need to just get her in the sack. CR, I played the evening by the book, subtle compliments about her choices, hair, career, etc. Started out the date with a friendly hug so as to pave the way for more friendly short touching through the date, like grabbing her hand when the team scored a run, that kinda stuff. By the end of the night she was reaching over to hold my hand. Plus I did not spill my guts on the first date. Only shared enough stuff to make me look interesting and unique and keep her curiosity up. Plus I kept it light hearted and silly. Bought her some silly blinking bunny ears and put on some silly blinking glasses myself. Ok, enough rambling for now, just wanted to give an update.

Lonely Tylenol. 08-15-2010 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark M (Post 12124080)
First date went great, I can tell this one really is a quality girl. Funny, inteligent, responsbile, driven, possesses substance. Meaning she is not thin or shallow.

Met up for drinks, then I took her to a baseball game. Good conversation and laughs the whole night, no awkward silence. We both agree there will be a second date, but like I said, she is a quality girl. That impresses me and deminishes the need to just get her in the sack. CR, I played the evening by the book, subtle compliments about her choices, hair, career, etc. Started out the date with a friendly hug so as to pave the way for more friendly short touching through the date, like grabbing her hand when the team scored a run, that kinda stuff. By the end of the night she was reaching over to hold my hand. Plus I did not spill my guts on the first date. Only shared enough stuff to make me look interesting and unique and keep her curiosity up. Plus I kept it light hearted and silly. Bought her some silly blinking bunny ears and put on some silly blinking glasses myself. Ok, enough rambling for now, just wanted to give an update.

so did u :boink: her in the ///M or 135 ?

stapler12345 08-15-2010 11:49 AM

how old is she?

CRSmoak 08-15-2010 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark M (Post 12124080)
First date went great, I can tell this one really is a quality girl. Funny, inteligent, responsbile, driven, possesses substance. Meaning she is not thin or shallow.

Met up for drinks, then I took her to a baseball game. Good conversation and laughs the whole night, no awkward silence. We both agree there will be a second date, but like I said, she is a quality girl. That impresses me and deminishes the need to just get her in the sack. CR, I played the evening by the book, subtle compliments about her choices, hair, career, etc. Started out the date with a friendly hug so as to pave the way for more friendly short touching through the date, like grabbing her hand when the team scored a run, that kinda stuff. By the end of the night she was reaching over to hold my hand. Plus I did not spill my guts on the first date. Only shared enough stuff to make me look interesting and unique and keep her curiosity up. Plus I kept it light hearted and silly. Bought her some silly blinking bunny ears and put on some silly blinking glasses myself. Ok, enough rambling for now, just wanted to give an update.

Hmm... why do I have a feeling you may have read some of my sources :rofl: :shhh:

Mark M 08-15-2010 12:40 PM

She is 33. I took the 325. Wanted to be 'real'. Did not want to impress with superficial methods. Oh she also has her free lance graphic design business. Intelligent responsible women are sexy!

CRSmoak 08-15-2010 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark M (Post 12124382)
She is 33. I took the 325. Wanted to be 'real'. Did not want to impress with superficial methods. Oh she also has her free lance graphic design business. Intelligent responsible women are sexy!

The "methods" are just that, methods. Whether you choose to be superficial in using them or not is really just a matter of choice.

Either way, I'll stop harassing you now, glad the two of you had fun :)

217Bimmer 08-15-2010 06:52 PM

and you call yourself a fanatic? we always, always **** on the first date.

but seriously, sounds like the perfect first date. keep things light and easy with as little pressure as possible. let things come naturally and go from there. good luck with the second.

firefirefire90 08-15-2010 06:55 PM

pics?

AfghanScarface 08-15-2010 07:00 PM

Good job escalating the kino with subtlety

CRS knows what im talking about im sure ;)

CRSmoak 08-15-2010 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AfghanScarface (Post 12125755)
Good job escalating the kino with subtlety

CRS knows what im talking about im sure ;)

Kino?? Whaa... :eeps:

Mark M 08-16-2010 07:05 AM

Kino = the art of touching.

random google link on the topic

http://www.mensxp.com/dating/flirtin...g-a-woman.html

BMWDon 08-16-2010 07:16 AM

good luck man :) sounds like a good girl. better start jerking it before every date now, you never know when you'll have to go to war and you don't want the little soldier shooting off early or dieing off too fast in a fight :rofl:


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