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-   -   Falling for your best friend... (http://forum.e46fanatics.com/showthread.php?t=933859)

k7780446 07-18-2012 12:07 AM

Falling for your best friend...
 
well like the title says, I think I am falling for my best friend....She is also one of my roommates.... She just got out of a 1 1/2 yeah relationship a month ago and I know it is to soon for anything, but I know we both are attracted to each other...I just dont know why now I am falling for her. Shes been my close friend for over a couple years and we spend time together all the time!

Anyone else have a similar situation before??

outcomes??

I have dated tons of girls and pursued plenty sense I have been single for almost a year now....but no girls have really got my attention, for a while I thought I was just emotionally broken sense I could never get attached....but for some reason I cant stop thinking about her....

B_Cyrus 07-18-2012 12:17 AM

I'll give you my honest opinion that my grandparents gave me: act on your emotions. Your life is short, so why skip out on excitement and the unknowing that is before you? Go for it dude. If it doesn't work out, so be it. If you don't, you will be kicking yourself because of it.

Good luck. :hi:

kushy 07-18-2012 12:28 AM

sounds like trouble bro. Is it worth risking your friendship? Then again if you don't try, your relationship will never be the same if you fall in love with her. GL on not being a WK that get's put in the friend zone.

CollinsE90 07-18-2012 12:42 AM

You can't stop thinking about her because you haven't met any quality women since your ex, and you start becoming infatuated with someone you're comfortable with.

nikkeiS2K 07-18-2012 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CollinsE90 (Post 14580601)
You can't stop thinking about her because you haven't met any quality women since your ex, and you start becoming infatuated with someone you're comfortable with.

This.

I have a close female friend that I see ever so often (we live a good 40 minutes away so meeting up is not convenient). Yes, she is classified as "one of the guys," which is dangerous (you can read up about this somewhere else) but as long as we are strictly friends then there are no problems. I've done some things with her (kissed, touched, got a bj) but never had intercourse because we both thought it would change things for the worse. Despite this we've still remained as friends. She even asked me multiple times if I could become her sex friend, but then it always went back to the "it will ruin our friendship" talk so I stopped. I can confidently say that I value my friendship with her more than my wiener now that I am older and realize how much quality friends should be kept close to you. There are several other girls out there that you can be hitting on. Why does it have to be your best friend? Keep the friendship and find another girl. Win-win situation for the both of you. As for not meeting any quality girls for a year it probably has to do with your daily routine. Pick up a new hobby, start talking to cute girls at the smoothie shop, hit on waitresses, impress the teller at your bank. Break out of your old routine and do things you wouldn't normally do. Remember though you should be doing these things ALL OF THE TIME and SUBCONSCIOUSLY. Always remember that you "goal" is to have a good time NOT to meet girls.

david05111 07-18-2012 01:01 AM

Same thing happened to me a little over 15 months ago. Told her how I felt and it fell apart completely...seriously one of the worst, if not the worst, year + of my life. Still not totally over it to be honest.

The only thing I will say is that you better act on it because youv reached a point that you won't be satisfied unless you tell her and you also won't be able to stand it when someone else moves in and you stand there wanting her and having tk listen to her talk about him. It's the point of no return, at least in my opinion.

I still can't stand it and our friendship was destroyed. We barely talk now...it sucks so God damn bad. But the truth is that once I developed the feelings for her, it was inevitable that it would advance into a relationship or it would completely fall apart. I lost, and it still hurts.

BMWDon 07-18-2012 04:59 AM

Sense you feel this way, you better tell her or you have no since at all...good ruck

cowmoo32 07-18-2012 07:09 AM

I was with my best friend from HS for a summer after our freshman year of college. There was always something there during HS but she had a steady bf. That ended as soon as we got to school and we got together. It was fun but we never got too serious and we're still really good friends 7 years later. I know my situation is more of the exception and not the rule, but it can work.

casino is no lie 07-18-2012 08:11 AM

No experience with getting involved with my best friend. However, my fiance became my best friend :luv:


It can work. Just tread the waters carefully.

SamDoe1 07-18-2012 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikkeiS2K (Post 14580656)
This.

I have a close female friend that I see ever so often (we live a good 40 minutes away so meeting up is not convenient). Yes, she is classified as "one of the guys," which is dangerous (you can read up about this somewhere else) but as long as we are strictly friends then there are no problems. I've done some things with her (kissed, touched, got a bj) but never had intercourse because we both thought it would change things for the worse. Despite this we've still remained as friends. She even asked me multiple times if I could become her sex friend, but then it always went back to the "it will ruin our friendship" talk so I stopped.

Same experience (almost exactly), same outcome. If you say she's your "best friend" then don't do it. If/when it goes south, she will no longer be your friend at all. If it doesn't go south, you're good to go. Just be careful.

Quote:

Originally Posted by casino is no lie (Post 14581039)
No experience with getting involved with my best friend. However, my fiance became my best friend :luv:.

:dennis:

Same thing happened to me... :eeps:

217Bimmer 07-18-2012 10:15 AM

i had a roommate who i spent every moment with. we did everything together. we fell for each other, but i was so scared that it wouldn't work out and that i would lose a friend and make our living situation unbearable, so i never progressed things until it was too late. one of the biggest regrets of my life. by the time i was ready to date her, her feelings had changed. probably the biggest heartbreak of my life.

so my advice is to continue to spend time with her and let things progress naturally, when the time is right you will know. like someone else said, act on your emotions, but just make sure the timing is right and don't rush things. a relationship that blossoms out of a friendship can be the strongest attraction you can have.

after things didn't work out with me and her, it took me a long time to get over her, but we were able to reconnect after a while. she's happily married now and we all go out once in a while. i'm fine with how things worked out in the end. so to say that you will lose a friend is not necessarily true. it just may take time and a realization that you can't make someone love you if they don't, so you have to be mature and want what's best for them.

cowmoo32 07-18-2012 02:21 PM

What's up with all of you living with girls? Not once in my life have I wanted a female roommate...

CollinsE90 07-18-2012 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cowmoo32 (Post 14582197)
What's up with all of you living with girls? Not once in my life have I wanted a female roommate...

Amen. Fvck that noise.

M325er22 07-18-2012 02:47 PM

I say it can work. Just be careful because I experienced the positive and negative of this situation.

The first time this happened to me sucked. I hung out with her everyday in high school since freshman year. I always had feelings for her so once I got the balls in senior year to ask her, I got denied. We werent the same ever again. She stopped talking to me all together.

But now ive been in a 3 yr relationship with my girl and we had been only best friends for about 6 months prior. Its the best decision I ever made. It can work if both people wgat it to happen.:thumbup:

Sent from my LG-P509 using Bimmer App

dreamdrivedrift 07-19-2012 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cowmoo32 (Post 14582197)
What's up with all of you living with girls? Not once in my life have I wanted a female roommate...

I have wanted to given that they are generally cleaner - sometimes it is a pain living with guys with dishes piled in the sink so that you can't use it at all.

And I was in a similar situation about 3 years ago. We ended up hooking up one night and then realized we were both falling for each other. It took a LOT of courage to get into a relationship with her since if we didn't/don't work out as a couple, our relationship wouldn't/will never be the same. But right now, it's better than ever, and we've been dating for almost 3 years now.

HyeWarrior 07-19-2012 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by B_Cyrus (Post 14580496)
I'll give you my honest opinion that my grandparents gave me: act on your emotions. Your life is short, so why skip out on excitement and the unknowing that is before you? Go for it dude. If it doesn't work out, so be it. If you don't, you will be kicking yourself because of it.

Good luck. :hi:

After reading this, I'm kicking myself in the ass.

Op, been in a very similar situation, never acted on it. Now, she has a new bf after a year of being single, and we rarely ever speak to each other. Maybe once a month, if that.

Did I want her as a girlfriend? No. I'm just upset I never told her how I felt when I had the perfect opportunity.

MaverickM3 07-21-2012 07:12 PM

Just be careful OP. Timing is everything. Don't push it. Just let it happen. Best of luck Bro. :thumbsup:

JasonSmithed 07-21-2012 07:21 PM

Friend zoned

Sent from my SCH-I510 using Bimmer App

E46Msex 08-10-2012 09:24 AM

Friend zone = myth

Its all about social status and power

ImSoFreaknWhite 08-10-2012 09:42 AM

I say go for it, lifes too short to have regrets and "what ifs". But like stated above, taking it slow will defintly help.


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