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-   -   Got her primed....now how to slow the train..... (http://forum.e46fanatics.com/showthread.php?t=933943)

Mark M 07-18-2012 01:13 PM

Got her primed....now how to slow the train.....
 
Ok....here is an interesting one. My own fault but hear me out.

Met a girl online, local to me, seem to have A LOT in common. Her personality is excellent, witty, comical, sarcastic just like me. She is divorced, 35, and two younger kids which doesn't bother me, I have a younger son of my own and like the idea of a family.

We had our first date last week, we each had drinks with our meals...anyway the date ended with a very heavy make out session and groping. We both seem to really enjoy each other. Well we have a second date tonight. Catch is, I think I opened up pandora's box too soon. We've been flirting and even suggestive flirting all week. She admits she wants me tonight and even hinted I could take her back to my place.

Here's my dilema. (take my man card now)........

I actually like this girl, she intrigues me more than just a cool girl / hookup. So as much of a guy as I am and as much as I would be cool with taking her home, I almost wish I could rachet things back and continue growing the all around attraction instead of just the lust factor.

I admit it was my fault, I shouldn't have started the suggestive heavy flirting.

Thoughts?

CollinsE90 07-18-2012 01:26 PM

She probably hasn't been laid in 3 years. I don't think at that age, being super slow is going to really matter. You're both experienced enough to not have to go through ALL of the dating steps.

Crespo5190 07-18-2012 01:41 PM

She sounds like a player. You should take her back to your place and do what you gotta do and if everything is cool after that and the vibe is still the same then she's a keeper. You already got stuck with making her think you're going to sleep with her so you must pull through with it or else that would be the end.

217Bimmer 07-18-2012 02:29 PM

to men, sex and love are mutually exclusive. i have no problem banging a chick whether i have feelings for her or not. they aren't affected by the sex. sometimes i feel bad if i bang a chick and she has feelings for me and i dont for her, but that's just how things are. so bang her, it won't matter on your side. sure, she may turn into a stalker and fall in love with you, but that's why chicks are different.

SLVR JDM 07-18-2012 02:37 PM

Hold off for now..on your 3rd date she will attack you and it will be mind blowing. If you keep deflecting she'll think you have AIDs though.

bry330i 07-18-2012 02:48 PM

pics?

DavidDee 07-18-2012 02:56 PM

Do her in the butt

Sent from my DROID X2 using Bimmer App

2000_328CI 07-18-2012 03:02 PM

Had the EXACT same scenario a few months back and made the mistake of NOT closing the deal. Yes, you read that right. In hindsight, it was an error on my part to go heavy on the first date and then pull it back on the second. We ended up at my place the first night and things got wild. The second date, we ended up again at my place but I didn't seal the deal.. when she randomly said "i should get going" and then left rather awkwardly, I knew something was off....

My view is that she was expecting to bang on the second date.. when I didn't follow through, because i really liked her, it threw her off and she likely thought of me as less aggressive/masculine/all those good things girls like.

So my suggestion : Either go full speed ahead and go as far as she's clearly looking to go.... OR explain that you like her and want to take it slow as a result. If you're like me and slow things down WITHOUT EXPLAINING that's what you're doing, you look wimpo and the girl will lose interest.

217Bimmer 07-18-2012 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2000_328CI (Post 14582324)
Had the EXACT same scenario a few months back and made the mistake of NOT closing the deal. Yes, you read that right. In hindsight, it was an error on my part to go heavy on the first date and then pull it back on the second. We ended up at my place the first night and things got wild. The second date, we ended up again at my place but I didn't seal the deal.. when she randomly said "i should get going" and then left rather awkwardly, I knew something was off....

My view is that she was expecting to bang on the second date.. when I didn't follow through, because i really liked her, it threw her off and she likely thought of me as less aggressive/masculine/all those good things girls like.

So my suggestion : Either go full speed ahead and go as far as she's clearly looking to go.... OR explain that you like her and want to take it slow as a result. If you're like me and slow things down WITHOUT EXPLAINING that's what you're doing, you look wimpo and the girl will lose interest.

she was just looking for dik and didn't want to wait for it. she would have fukked you both nights, guaranteed. probably had a few other guys to jump on when she left your place anyway.

casino is no lie 07-18-2012 04:04 PM

I slept with her the first night. Now we're getting married. Anything is possible.

Mark M 07-19-2012 08:16 AM

Well I slept with her. lol

Was trying to slow the train down. Earlier in the day over texts I told her I thought she was a very chill girl and wanted to really see where things would go with us, did not want to cheapen it with a 2nd date romp. She replied back that she agreed but she also said she knows we will be crossing that line sooner or later. I left it at that.

Went to a trendy Italian Bistro...had a few drinks and were sharing appetizers. As usual we were having that excellent witty comical banter and also having good conversation. I jokingly brought up the texts from earlier in the day and she hit me with a witty zinger, sort of a call to action. She replied "It's ok, I understand your texts, you're just demoting me to the friend zone after only two dates, I get it." Then gave me this serious stare. Now I 75% knew she was busting my stones, but then I had that 25% doubt that she was serious. So I should have just left it go at that and made her wait. But at that point wtf, we went back to my place and it was on.

Fortunately she seems cool, don't get the vibe she'll up and disappear now that she got some. Hoping it turns into something...but will keep ya posted.

Fatrusty 07-19-2012 09:41 AM

Thank you baby Jesus.....

Fatrusty 07-19-2012 09:44 AM

Oh by the way... met a hot chick online talked had a couple of dates.. She damn near raped me on date 3... FF Saturday is our 6th anniversary!! And she is still hot and sexy at 55:excited:

USCTrojanMan29 07-20-2012 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2000_328CI (Post 14582324)
Had the EXACT same scenario a few months back and made the mistake of NOT closing the deal. Yes, you read that right. In hindsight, it was an error on my part to go heavy on the first date and then pull it back on the second. We ended up at my place the first night and things got wild. The second date, we ended up again at my place but I didn't seal the deal.. when she randomly said "i should get going" and then left rather awkwardly, I knew something was off....

My view is that she was expecting to bang on the second date.. when I didn't follow through, because i really liked her, it threw her off and she likely thought of me as less aggressive/masculine/all those good things girls like.

So my suggestion : Either go full speed ahead and go as far as she's clearly looking to go.... OR explain that you like her and want to take it slow as a result. If you're like me and slow things down WITHOUT EXPLAINING that's what you're doing, you look wimpo and the girl will lose interest.

+1...proceed to smash ASAP.

Mark M 07-26-2012 09:34 AM

It's been way too quiet here in this lounge lately....so I thought I'd post a short update....

Second date happened and we had drinks then despite my uncertainty above we got it on. Thankfully this one is a adventurous in the sack....but she couldn't stay, her mom was home watching her kids while we were out on the date.

Third date was last night, we kept things low key since it has been a busy week. Did drinks at my place...hung out on the deck talking, then went inside for the more of the deed. We definitely click, she is a wild one and seems to take whatever I dish out. But like before she had to leave about 11pm since her mom was watching her kids.

That's the only very minor drawback I see to this one. She doesn't have much free time since she has her 4 and 5 yo sons. I've only been able to see her about once a week so far. However, on all other levels she and I are very compatible so I'm intrigued to take things further and see. (I have a 3yo son)

HellFish 07-26-2012 12:41 PM

Not a big deal. Just be honest and say you want to wait. She should be able to respect that.

speedcrazy1532 07-26-2012 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HellFish (Post 14604080)
Not a big deal. Just be honest and say you want to wait. She should be able to respect that.

Seriously. You already did the deed so now it's anyone's move as far as how the rest of it should go. Just roll with it and talk some things out without being emo about it and you shouldn't have a problem.

As an aside, generally the chicks with kids have trouble finding guys who accept that so you kind of have the upper hand a bit in this situation.

just play it cool.

DME46 08-01-2012 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by casino is no lie (Post 14582548)
I slept with her the first night. Now we're getting married. Anything is possible.

A lot of girls I talk to, and even a few engaged/married ones - told me the guys they are in love with were one night stands that turned into relationships. :rofl:

Personally, I hit it whenever. If the sex isn't there, there is no chance for relationship.

Mark M 08-01-2012 11:57 AM

Yeah.....like Collin said earlier....by this point with us both in our mid-thirties who cares about the exact stages of a relationship. We are now at the point of just screwing like minx all the time.

B_Cyrus 08-01-2012 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark M (Post 14619081)
Yeah.....like Collin said earlier....by this point with us both in our mid-thirties who cares about the exact stages of a relationship. We are now at the point of just screwing like minx all the time.

You make me look forward to my 30's.


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