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-   -   Is Marriage Still Worth It? (http://forum.e46fanatics.com/showthread.php?t=958736)

bimmerfan08 12-01-2012 11:57 AM

Is Marriage Still Worth It?
 
As Valentine’s Day approaches, roses and chocolates fill the stores to remind us of the importance of coupling; but few organizations are likely to be as direct with the message as National Marriage Week USA, a group that aims to promote matrimony across the country.

Its executive director gets straight to the point in a video on the group’s home-page. “Marriage pays,” she says, looking brightly at the camera. “Research shows that married individuals have far greater wealth and financial stability. They lead longer lives, have greater personal happiness and better health.”

That’s bad news for almost half of the US population, including me, who are single. According to the Pew Research Center American marriage rates are at a record low — a phenomenon that must be the inspiration for National Marriage Week, which is just a few years old. Articles about the demise of marriage have proliferated lately. A Stanford professor, Ralph Richard Banks, published a much talked about book last year called “Is Marriage for White People?”. But the trend affects many different social groups. And in fact the economic value of getting hitched is less than it used to be.

I have nothing against marriage, but I think it’s worth noting that alternatives are available, and indeed flourishing. The figures may alarm traditionalists, yet for anyone who’s lesbian, who may have chosen to have a family on her own, who’s divorced, or who has a partner and just isn’t married, there is less cause for concern. The Pew Center’s 2011 report observes that while marriage is on the wane,”Other adult living arrangements—including cohabitation, single-person households and single parenthood—have all grown more prevalent in recent decades.” It’s not that folks aren’t getting together in various scenarios; it’s just that they’re not getting married in the same numbers as before.

The psychologist Eric Klinenberg has laid out evidence to suggest that these alternatives are not so terrifying or unattractive either. The number of people who live alone has grown rapidly in recent years, both within the US and across the western world. In Manhattan, and in Washington, the occupants of nearly one in every two houses are single. Klinenberg says that wherever it is economically feasible, people tend to live alone. Rather than bewailing this shift, Klinenberg thinks of it as a benign experiment, tying the new preference in with modern values of self-actualization and independence.

Klinenberg isn’t the first to see solo living as a symbol of realizing one’s aspirations. Living alone has always held a distinct place in the feminist dream. The Best of Everything, a brilliant novel by Rona Jaffe written in the late fifties that came to define the life of a young woman in New York, begins with the career girls of that era streaming out of their apartments and into the subway on their way to work. This novel inspired many women to set up house in this city, although Jaffe later wrote that she meant it to be a cautionary tale (one character dies after becoming obsessed with her boyfriend).

A few years later in “Sex and the Single Girl” (1962) Helen Gurley Brown devoted a whole chapter to “The Apartment.” Just to make her point clear, she asserts: “If you areb to be a glamorous, sophisticated woman that exciting things happen to, you need an apartment and you need to live in it alone!” (Exclamation mark not mine).

This air of excitement — along with inverse cliche of the lonely spinster — persist around the idea of women who live alone; although Klinenberg cursorily dispenses with the second idea: “[T]hose images are dated. Now the most privileged people on earth use their resources to separate from one another, to buy privacy and personal space.”

One striking thing about the way marriage is presented on the website of the National Marriage Week is the emphasis on pragmatism and practicality. The group’s message feels singularly unemotional, and the absence of the word “love” speaks loudly from some of their PR documents. There are many reasons why fewer people are getting married; but this makes me think that something needs to change if marriage is to remain desirable. (Admittedly things are changing, with the good news of the overturning of Prop 8 in California yesterday).

Meanwhile, as someone who pays an astronomical sum to live in a tiny studio in New York, I can honestly say that I’m pleased to be part of a growing trend of fulfilled singletons. Happy Marriage Week all!

http://www.forbes.com/sites/friedakl...ll-worth-it/2/

Redline 12-01-2012 12:05 PM

¿que?

NOVAbimmer 12-01-2012 12:33 PM

one holiday at a time brosef

bimmerfan08 12-01-2012 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NOVAbimmer (Post 14943016)
one holiday at a time brosef

Will you be my Valentine Mike? :eeps:

Grande D 12-01-2012 01:17 PM

tl;dr

ImPulSe 12-01-2012 01:21 PM

Me and my friend have known each other for over 10 years, so is it considered gay if we sometimes suck on each others dick? We only do it when we're both bored on say like a Saturday night. We don't do it a lot, just for shits and giggles.

chivo328 12-01-2012 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImPulSe (Post 14943089)
Me and my friend have known each other for over 10 years, so is it considered gay if we sometimes suck on each others dick? We only do it when we're both bored on say like a Saturday night. We don't do it a lot, just for shits and giggles.

Depends. Do you leave the lights on?

Junaid 12-01-2012 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImPulSe (Post 14943089)
Me and my friend have known each other for over 10 years, so is it considered gay if we sometimes suck on each others dick? We only do it when we're both bored on say like a Saturday night. We don't do it a lot, just for shits and giggles.

It's only gay if the balls touch.

pancakes 12-01-2012 05:04 PM

**** this. my employer pays more if you're married. I'm considering getting married JUST for the pay increase. living single is hard.

andrewrossnagel 12-01-2012 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by broey v (Post 14943393)
**** this. my employer pays more if you're married. I'm considering getting married JUST for the pay increase. living single is hard.

everyone gets paid more when they're married

Andy2108 12-01-2012 05:18 PM

clifs?

mestupmonkydude 12-01-2012 11:55 PM

no

k2pilot 12-02-2012 12:08 AM

Coming Apart touches on this, and the general consensus was it has a negative effect not marrying.

adaseb 12-02-2012 01:34 AM

Only pro thing about being married is your insurance rates are lower

NOVAbimmer 12-02-2012 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bimmerfan08 (Post 14943071)
Will you be my Valentine Mike? :eeps:

:luv:

bimmerfan08 12-02-2012 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adaseb (Post 14944090)
Only pro thing about being married is your insurance rates are lower

And you live a little longer because you are less reckless.

B_Cyrus 12-02-2012 05:13 PM

http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/b...powellcopy.jpg

MDydinanM 12-02-2012 05:13 PM

:eeps:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN3Sqf8BiY8










:rofl:

bimmerfan08 12-02-2012 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by B_Cyrus (Post 14945235)

:rofl:

yousharenow 12-02-2012 05:26 PM

I think roughly 95% of people get married to the wrong people, for the wrong reasons. Weather it is socitial, finaical, having a kid, etc etc, I really do think the reason divorce is so high is due to people not taking the right amount of time to get to know themself first, then engage in a relationship.

I see this trend almost continuously with people that get married in their early 20's, as they grow up and change, by the time they are in their late 20's they are completely different people.

The moral of the story is be single and get to know yourself and what you want, then find someone that meets those requirements. I have been told for years that "your standards are too high" which is nothing more than an attribute to people giving in and settling.

Nobody can understand how I found my unicorn but she had the exact same mindset.

Hold yourself to higher standards, you deserve exactly what you get.


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