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Old 12-26-2009, 11:48 PM   #1
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Location: Montreal
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Parents not allowing me to date this girl - Need advice

Greetings, so not very usual of me to write about this kind of stuff online, but friends are asleep, family hates me and feeling kinda down, so here we go. Please no stupid comments, maybe funny ones are fine but stupid comments would not help right now.

Background info:

I work at my parents restaurant on the weekends as a guy that just manages the schedules and deals with small problems and questions that arises during the night. I live with my parents, drive their cars, honestly they supply me everything I need as long I as I am in school. I am currently attending university and finishing my degree in about 1 year. I am from a Asian background, both parents are immigrant Chinese traditional background. Currently 21 should in the work force by 22 max 23. I never dated, not really looking for girls for the sake of saying I have a girlfriend. Always looking for the girl that fits my description as a perfect girl.

Shes 18 working at my parents restaurant as a hostess. She works well. Fits my criteria of a perfect girl.

1. Didn't have much boyfriends before.
2. Non smoking and drug using.
3. From a good family.
4. Not a *****.

Well she fits them all and I can tell she is deeply in love with me. Her parents like me. French Canadian background. Very nice girl in my book. She is attending school has decent grades, the lot.


We have discovered that we both like each other and wanted to start dating. I knew my parents are not too fond of 2 things.

1. Dating non Chinese girls.
2. Dating an employee of the restaurant.

Well I have just offended both these rules. Both of my parents are not happy that I am dating her, and they truly believe that she would ruin my future (Don't know why, but will ask at a better time). I guess they believe that she is a girl that only in love with me because she believe that we are wealthy. Punch line is tonight they pretty much told me you can chose your parents or that girl. Well I do not fully understand why they believe that she is not the right girl for me, I feel they are quite intruding my rights of choices. My life has been planned out by my parents, I do not get much choices, I have never fought back to their controlling manners, but this time I feel that they have pushed my limits. Why? you may ask. Point form!

1. They cannot fully explain their reasoning why this girl is not right for me.
2. Very offensive this time around making my choices.
3. I am 21, never ever remembered once saying no to something my parents want me accomplish, even thought its not in my interest. Why can't they be flexible once?
4. I actually like this girl.
5. Can't explain this one, but Russel Peters has a joke that sums it up quite well. "My mom wanted to pick my wife, I don't even let my mom pick my clothes!"
6. Isn't this one of the things I have to decide and not them?
7. I had the option of not telling them and have the best of both worlds, but I chose to respect them because I truly believed that if I respect them, they might be grateful and respect my decision

Options that in consideration:

1. Listen to them and punch myself in the go-nads.
2. Go out with her secretly, which she agreed to before I discussed with my parents.
3. Alternative to plan 2 is to secretly date for a year and if everything is serious, give up my MSC in finance and just intern and move out with her.
4. Not fond of this one, but growing on me, being very rebellious and just do whatever I want like its no body's business.

Please let me know your experiences and solutions that worked for you. If you're coming from a Chinese family with the same type of parents, please give you insight.

I am keeping an open mind to this, but honestly I am very depressed and very disappointed about my parents.
hummermaniac88 is offline   Reply With Quote