i understand your parents from the perspective that culturally, they have different systems of beliefs. however, you are obviously americanized and growing up, struggled with the cultural differences that existed. i saw this in my neighbor, my age, who's family is japanese. they never understood "our" ways and he rebelled constantly. now older, they are accepting. i do not think your family would disown you but they may be upset in the beginning. this is something they need to work on... not you. if you truly like this girl, you should see her. bottom line. parents only want what is best for their children... or what they think is best. however, you are the one in the shoes of decisions... not them. at 21, you are an adult and must make decisions based on what YOU believe. obviously you hear your parents out and take their advice to the best that you can but compromise with them too. that is the only way to gain experience and see what the real world is like. so what if you must leave the restaurant to work PT... focus on school and the girl.... she will understand the dilemna you are in but also find strength in your character if you do what you feel is right and not live under the control of mom and dad. and most likely, mom and dad will change over time. you should hear out all but do as you find fit....
my belief in life is simple, yet strong: "I am the master of my fate;I am the captain of my soul." Invictus, William Ernest Henley