thank you for the responses. It is possible that my engine overheated but an indicator light never came on for that and I never had low coolant. the block was able to hold down the proper torque for the bolts, I am sure of this because I forgot a step the first time and had to order a new set of bolts and they held torque again(at least I think, there was no familiar feeling of stripped threads. the engine had very little time to heat up the coolant as I only let it run for less than five seconds. the vanos unit is not connected to a coolant passage, the coolant/ oil mix was coming out of the oil pressurized passages (not supposed to be there). im with you guys though that the error was probably mine and not a random part going bad. my plan of action is to order a new head gasket, head bolts, a timing chain, and secondary chain tensioner. I will take the head back to the machine shop to have it inspected. and in the mean time flush the coolant and drain 7 quarts of unused full synthetic oil. when I put it back together I will focus even more on the timing even though I spent about 4 hrs the first time trying to make sure it was perfect. as this seems the most likely point of failure. I will post the results when I am done, but that time is indeterminate as I do not yet know what I will find when I open the engine back up.
Two other things I was wondering? are timing chains unidirectional like timing belts. and if the block is cracked how would I know, there is no leaking out of the block, I will check to see if any of the cylinders have coolant in them before unbolting the head.
Also if anyone has suggestions on clues to look for when disassembling the engine I am open to suggestions. thanks