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Old 03-07-2012, 04:44 PM   #113
Brevik
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 794
My Ride: Tiag M3
Everything you said would be just dandy if the guy was interested, but the dude has clearly said he is not into it and that is what is wrong with her doing it.

Honestly I would feel the same way. When I was 20 this was cool, but I found out it isn't my deal and if my wife were to not only suggest it but go ahead and make a date I would be running for the hills.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CRSmoak View Post
So basically you don't trust her; if this is the case then you need to sit down and have an honest conversation with her about it. I'm by no means stating that you should just jump into it, rather experiment at a pace you're both comfortable with, again honesty is going to be very important. It's a partnership and you two are going to have to work together on this, if you can't then honestly...why did you two even bother to get married? It's true that one of you may fall for someone else; what that comes down to is simply a play of value and investment, he whom has the highest value, he whom she has more invested in is the one who'll get the girl. I won't lie, these type of relationships often don't work out, and it's usually the result of someone becoming insecure, subsequently losing perceived value, that or the exact opposite, becoming to comfortable; but really the same could be said for a conventional relationships as well. Bottom line is that most relationships fail, and if it is going to fail it'll likely happen regardless. My advice would be to take to it slowly and stay open minded, really talk about it, set some ground rules and get comfortable with the idea first. Try getting more involved with the idea, try getting some different perspectives, meet up and talk with other couples in similar arrangements, etc.
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