This sounds like battery to me too. When jumping, did you connect to terminals under the hood? Also, you should keep the cars hooked up for maybe 5 mins. with donor car revving slightly. Then try to start.
Bet it will...or you could try jump starting.
Check date on battery...if old...it might just be its time.
I'm so depressed. No one wants to come see me. :(
Mangofy your E46!