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Old 11-02-2012, 10:55 AM   #111
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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Originally Posted by RossGuy View Post
here's this goon's twitter acct that I work with

A friend of mine found the "best of" and emailed them to a ton of people....

Dear select few who share my pain:

I have done the seemingly unthinkable. I have read all of Dave's tweets in an attempt to showcase Dave Scn at his best. Below are some of Dave's most ill-conceived tweets, with my responses to certain ones in red. Dave, you are the quintessence of a man who is in intellectual denial. Your lack of original thought and trivial, unsubstantiated opinions are the reason I feel a moral obligation to enlighten the world in my later life.

1. I've finally mastered Super Mario Bros Crossover. I've beaten it with every character. Ryu rocks!

2. Yes! All in favor of this! Almost smacked a kid when dad wouldn't do anything about his kicking my seat on a flight!

3. According to Microsoft, "the cloud" is now the answer for everything... but it won't cook me a cheeseburger.

4. Do not use microwave's "popcorn" button to microwave popcorn.#stupidinstructions

5. I feel like Forrest Gump, sitting on a bus stop bench... Anyone got a box of chocolate?
a. No. Nevertheless, you're still dumb as ****. #RetardProblems

6. Stupid flight attendant announcement: "We'll be ready to depart once our captain arrives to pilot the aircraft." #wedontneednostinkinpilot

7. Girl at table behind me talking about someone she knows: "He's a tall guy not like 6'2 but like 6 foot" Ha! Wait til I stand up... #7ftTall
a. Please don't. Save yourself the shame of being seen out of your cave. #Ogre
Fvck! Why didn't I just stop reading at this point
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