11-11-2012, 10:20 AM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: So Cal - 310
My Ride: 04 330Ci ZHP
Originally Posted by 1982dieselrabbit
I do want to **** her. I love her very much. One of the reason we are in counseling is because 90% of the time that we have been living here (about a year) she has been sleeping on the couch for reasons she nor I can explain. She also has a child which makes non bedroom sex more difficult. Did i mention she is bipolar?
THIS is the disease. Your fapping is a mild symptom. Getting into slugfests over your fapping and defending it based on what the therapist or a bunch of random dudes on a car forum consider "normal" is a waste of energy and a distraction. Unless the fapping discussion is held in direct context to the larger issue, its pointless to argue about it.
I hate lying, then lying some more to cover up past lies. I have been down that road. I end up not being able to keep my lies straight. But I think you are correct in this case. A little lie here and there to keep this kind or drama out of my life would be OK.
If everything else is great, you can probably get away with a little lying about fapping. Even if you get caught in a lie, its probably not that big a deal.
But if she thinks you don't desire her, and she attributes it to just a general lack of desire on your part (age, medical, stress, whatever), and later finds out you DO have desire (enough to fap, anyway) that isn't created by/directed at her, having lied to her about it is going to blow up in your face. See the exchange in your first post for reference.
No ****. I have pointed this out many times. It does not help that she lies to me a lot for no reason. Shes the type that tells me what I want to hear insted of just telling me the truth.
Well, if you're hearing some truth now, listen carefully. And see your preceding comment about lying.
I'm trying. I had jealous girlfriends in the past but having a girlfriend that is jealous of my hand is new to me.
She's probably only jealous of your hand because it's the sole owner of the sexual aspect of your relationship. It's giving you what she wants to be giving you, and getting from you what she wants to be getting from you.
I think most mature adults understand that their SO is sometimes gonna do self-serve. No biggie. But everyone needs to feel that they're desirable, and if your GF feels that she's NOT desirable, but your hand IS, can you blame her for being jealous of your hand?
I'm gonna give that a try.
It may be the issues are much deeper. But at least with respect to fapping, if you're banging her on the regular, and you're doing it in such a way (remember that for women, the quality of sex is in the details) that she's secure with the thought that you desire her and she satisfies you, I'd bet your fapping becomes a non-issue.
So thats a "no" on the table pics?
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