First, OP, I'm not a professional, but since you chose Fanatics as your go-to place...I get to pretend...
I've found many times in my life that I when I get anxious about stuff, there's almost always something that I've needed to do but wasn't doing. Serious kind of stuff. This girl; that girl. This class, this line of work, etc.
I think you're wrestling with a decision...maybe. For me, on tough decisions, I'd just make one and live with it for a few days before 'implementing it'...testing it out in my mind only. Then, make the other decision and try it on for size too.
That, or you should probably not play adrenaline producing games to relax so much! I'm sure there's a substantial effect on your brain chemistry from playing too much cod.