It was just water in the battery!!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
So I tried starting my car on the 13th of December and observed one "Click" with the headlights and dash lights flashing on simultaneously (with the click). Then the battery died, no click, nothing. I used a multi-meter and my battery registered 2.8 volts. I was afraid it was a starter (which I replaced 2 years ago) or an alternator, or an ignition switch.
I then checked the battery itself and found almost no water in the battery. I added water to each reservoir and trickle charged the battery all night. Success! The car is now running.
Second issue: I replaced the OFHG to fix a small leak, leak remains and I am seeing a bit of oil that looks as if it is coming from the front passenger side of the vanos unit. At this point I am not sure if it is the Vanos or the CCV. .
While replacing the OFHG I replaced the two tensioners nearest to the alternator because they were both spinning freely, and making a rythmic ticking-squealing noise. The noise is still there as well. Honestly, this is getting ridiculous. Any ideas?
I tried uploading a video of the vehicle making "the noise" and I guess it's too big. What program do you guys use to shrink down video for upload?