The wear doesn't have to be par for the course, trust me.
All of my cars are aligned with my weight in the passenger seat. I am the one who is in my car most and I don;t often take around passengers in this car so why shouldn't it be setup for the most common situation. I can tell you that my 200 pounds in the driver's seat does change the alignment, but not drastically. All LHD cars will typically gain -.1* of camber in the front right and maybe the same in the right rear, lose a .1* of negative camber in the front left and typically none in the left rear. Toe will change as a result of camber depending on the setup of the suspension.
The specs I use are much less than what BMW recommends, but I never follow the recommended OEM specs anyway. On the E36/46 0 toe in the front works pretty well. I typically dial in a hint of toe in for straight line stability on my daily driver. On my track cars though I go with zero or a hair toe out.
I really think you would be happier with a different alignment. Again, I would really recommend the guys at Turn in Concepts. They do all my alignments on my cars and know what they are doing.