I use the ole' juvenile hall way.
Sit on it with your pants on.
Move front and back.
take pants and boxers off, sit back down and poo & pee.
"I call suffering my brother. I love him like my mother. We look out for each other, we'd die for one another.
I fight, I brawl, I feind for this. I scrape, I crawl, I bleed for this.."