Here's my takeaway (y'all should have a go at it):
I have been searching for a 318is for a long time.
I am 50, and I don't have a lot of money.
I have four kids and five grandkids.
I found a 318is on ebay.
I took a train to go look at it.
It was bad.
I got back on the train.
I found another one.
I phaetoned the seller, and it was a very pleasant phaetoning.
I got back on the train to go look at this car.
I bought it and I drove it home.
The number plate has some combination of letters that look like it says "MARY"
I have named the car Mary.
I ate chicken tikka masala for dinner, and it made me extremely ill and incoherent.
I posted my adventure on e46fanatics.