Thanks Jeff, Everything is working now, of course it was installer error (me)
The OEM iPod wiring made things confusing as nothing matched the tutorials I had seen online. There was a 4 wire connector I had missed that went to the OEM harness. I didnt even notice it as I uninstalled the OEM iPod adaptor.
The steering wheel controls should have been more obvious to me, but I got so hung up on the fact that there was nothing in google or here about this part number. That's all working now.