E46 BMW Social Directory E46 FAQ 3-Series Discussion Forums BMW Photo Gallery BMW 3-Series Technical Information E46 Fanatics - The Ultimate BMW Resource BMW Vendors General E46 Forum The Tire Rack's Tire Wheel Forum Forced Induction Forum The Off-Topic The E46 BMW Showroom For Sale, For Trade or Wanting to Buy

Welcome to the E46Fanatics forums. E46Fanatics is the premiere website for BMW 3 series owners around the world with interactive forums, a geographical enthusiast directory, photo galleries, and technical information for BMW enthusiasts.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Go Back   E46Fanatics > Everything Else > The Off-Topic > Love Line

Love Line

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 02-21-2008, 11:18 AM   #1
Novare330
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: orlando, FL
Posts: 3,915
My Ride: AA s/c AMBULAMPS
*** How to get over a break up ***

well, this topic seems to be brought up alot in the love line forum, so i figured id do a little write up on this, since i just went through a pretty messy one that im currently trying to deal with aswell, ive found a few ways of coping with the depression that has worked well for me so far, and i thought id share em with you guys or who ever may need this in the future, some of it may seem obvious, but when youre depress or extremely upset, sometimes we lose sight of the obvious, and what can really help us, so here goes

1) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH FRIENDS - DO NOT isolate, DO NOT just lay in your room staring at the ceiling thinking about the situation and hoping things get better, this is when you start thinking about stupid **** and/or start doing stupid ****, which isnt good. surround yourself with friends and people that will make you happy and take your mind away from her, whether their your roomates, best friends, poker buddies, w/e, if youre a guy, get together some of your boys and go out, this REALLY helps, the more time you spend with them, the BETTER, being able to have a chat with your boys man to man about how to deal with the situation makes a big difference, the night i broke up with my ex, my roomates and my best girl friends took me out for ice cream at 1 AM and bought a box of legos from walmart and we were messing around with it for a few hours lol it was dumb, but we had a good time and it really cheered me up.

2) VENT - very important, towards your sanity and emotional health, there are a few select friends that i will take advice from, i sat down with them, and they cared enough that they talked for over an hour with me about the break up, and gave me tons of good advice and support. its never good to keep **** bottled up, you may not be the type that likes to vent, and believe me, i was the same way, but then sooner or later, that bottle is just going to get more and more full until it over flows, and thats when you will have even bigger problems, so remember to vent, im lucky enough that my boys are always there to listen to me and i have girl friends that would literally sit there for hours and lend their support and encouragement. so remember, your friends are always there to listen, good friends love you and care about you enough that they wont abandon you when you feel shitty and would always, without fail, do their best to see you through your tough times.

3) CUT HER OFF - this is a biggie, and perhaps the toughest but most effective way towards feeling better. for me, i really cared about her, alot, and i still had feelings for her, and because of that, it was the hardest thing for me to do when she asked if i still wanted to be friends, and for me to tell her no and walk away. this may seem immature, but its definitely not, if your feelings for her remain, watching her see other guys, date around, and be with another guy will be torture, being around her and knowing that you will never have what you had with her before will eat a hole through you, man up, in this situation, its ok to be selfish, and look out for you and your own well being, dont put yourself in the situation where you torture yourself just because you cant let go of your feelings for her, know that she never reciprocated the feelings, and because of that, convince yourself that she doesnt deserve someone like you that cares for her, realize all that you have to offer her, and say **** it, she doesnt deserve it, and there is going to be another girl down the road that will appreciate you for all that you do and all that you have to offer, and its time to take the next step towards finding that girl.

4) YOURE #1 - never lose track of that, until youre married, you must always look out for you, you are #1, in any relationship, you cannot allow yourself to be completely selfless, because if you lose track of this, you make yourself vulnerable, and odds are it will be your downfall as soon as you guys encounter issues. know this, and never forget it.

5) FIND HER FLAWS - and focus on them, convince yourself that she had too many of them, nitpick if you need to, find everything that was wrong with her and tell yourself that you deserve better than a girl that was so ****ed up, for me, this was a biggie, you tend to not see these things or overlook them when youre in the relationship with her, just because youre so blinded by your feelings that even if shes not perfect, you want to see her as such, which needless to say isnt a good thing for you in the long run. once you can see all of this, be relieved that you no longer have to deal with this, and tell yourself that she will soon be someone else's problem.

6) DO THINGS THAT WILL TAKE YOUR MIND OFF OF HER - whether its playing cards with your roomates, taking a nice long drive, working out, etc, keep yourself occupied with leisure activities that you enjoy and will make you happy, this will keep you occupied to the point where you will forget about her long enough for you to slowly heal, and the more time you spend not thinking about her, the better. driving and art is something that works very well for me, take long calming drives or put your ipod on and lay down a canvas infront of you and just zone out. in the event that you HAVE to think about her, channel your emotions into something positive, if youre like me, hit the gym and take it out on 250 lbs of iron lol.

7) FOCUS ON WHAT YOU HAVE GOING FOR YOU - for me, its that i have perhaps the greatest friends in the world that will help me through thick and thin, perhaps its a good job that you have, family, school, etc. this will really help you feel better and move on, for me, i came to see how fortunate i was to have all these things going for me, so much so that breaking it off with her just became petty.

7) LASTLY, GO OUT - meet new people and take time to get to know them, before you know it, your ex will be a thing of the past, and she will be replaced sooner than you know it. Clubs, parties, and other social events are a good place to start, even going to the movies the going to the gym, anywhere where there are alot of people, you can be with friends, and where you can be around alot of people in a social environment.


hope this helps guys! it actually did me alot of good to write this, and hopefully it will help at least one person that posts here! good luck guys
__________________
- Stan Peng -
EUROPROJEKTZ Southeast | Co-Director


Quote:
Originally Posted by drbworld View Post
Need some opinion. Stock Titanium Silver coupe without spoiler, using the 2 Fast 2 furious skyline vinyl scheme. What do you think, do it or not? plus, i think it would look better then what most car members have here.
Novare330 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2008, 12:03 PM   #2
inzideurhead
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 368
My Ride: ///M3
Send a message via Yahoo to inzideurhead
good write up! good advice

Honestly though, it is extremely difficult to get over an ex specially if you were with her for 5-6 yrs...I dont think you can get over it...well at least until something better comes along
__________________

inzideurhead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2008, 12:08 PM   #3
Parazitul
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: east
Posts: 535
My Ride: e30
Send a message via AIM to Parazitul Send a message via Yahoo to Parazitul
Quote:
Originally Posted by Novare330 View Post
well, this topic seems to be brought up alot in the love line forum, so i figured id do a little write up on this, since i just went through a pretty messy one that im currently trying to deal with aswell, ive found a few ways of coping with the depression that has worked well for me so far, and i thought id share em with you guys or who ever may need this in the future, some of it may seem obvious, but when youre depress or extremely upset, sometimes we lose sight of the obvious, and what can really help us, so here goes

1) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH FRIENDS - DO NOT isolate, DO NOT just lay in your room staring at the ceiling thinking about the situation and hoping things get better, this is when you start thinking about stupid **** and/or start doing stupid ****, which isnt good. surround yourself with friends and people that will make you happy and take your mind away from her, whether their your roomates, best friends, poker buddies, w/e, if youre a guy, get together some of your boys and go out, this REALLY helps, the more time you spend with them, the BETTER, being able to have a chat with your boys man to man about how to deal with the situation makes a big difference, the night i broke up with my ex, my roomates and my best girl friends took me out for ice cream at 1 AM and bought a box of legos from walmart and we were messing around with it for a few hours lol it was dumb, but we had a good time and it really cheered me up.

2) VENT - very important, towards your sanity and emotional health, there are a few select friends that i will take advice from, i sat down with them, and they cared enough that they talked for over an hour with me about the break up, and gave me tons of good advice and support. its never good to keep **** bottled up, you may not be the type that likes to vent, and believe me, i was the same way, but then sooner or later, that bottle is just going to get more and more full until it over flows, and thats when you will have even bigger problems, so remember to vent, im lucky enough that my boys are always there to listen to me and i have girl friends that would literally sit there for hours and lend their support and encouragement. so remember, your friends are always there to listen, good friends love you and care about you enough that they wont abandon you when you feel shitty and would always, without fail, do their best to see you through your tough times.

3) CUT HER OFF - this is a biggie, and perhaps the toughest but most effective way towards feeling better. for me, i really cared about her, alot, and i still had feelings for her, and because of that, it was the hardest thing for me to do when she asked if i still wanted to be friends, and for me to tell her no and walk away. this may seem immature, but its definitely not, if your feelings for her remain, watching her see other guys, date around, and be with another guy will be torture, being around her and knowing that you will never have what you had with her before will eat a hole through you, man up, in this situation, its ok to be selfish, and look out for you and your own well being, dont put yourself in the situation where you torture yourself just because you cant let go of your feelings for her, know that she never reciprocated the feelings, and because of that, convince yourself that she doesnt deserve someone like you that cares for her, realize all that you have to offer her, and say **** it, she doesnt deserve it, and there is going to be another girl down the road that will appreciate you for all that you do and all that you have to offer, and its time to take the next step towards finding that girl.

4) YOURE #1 - never lose track of that, until youre married, you must always look out for you, you are #1, in any relationship, you cannot allow yourself to be completely selfless, because if you lose track of this, you make yourself vulnerable, and odds are it will be your downfall as soon as you guys encounter issues. know this, and never forget it.

5) FIND HER FLAWS - and focus on them, convince yourself that she had too many of them, nitpick if you need to, find everything that was wrong with her and tell yourself that you deserve better than a girl that was so ****ed up, for me, this was a biggie, you tend to not see these things or overlook them when youre in the relationship with her, just because youre so blinded by your feelings that even if shes not perfect, you want to see her as such, which needless to say isnt a good thing for you in the long run. once you can see all of this, be relieved that you no longer have to deal with this, and tell yourself that she will soon be someone else's problem.

6) DO THINGS THAT WILL TAKE YOUR MIND OFF OF HER - whether its playing cards with your roomates, taking a nice long drive, working out, etc, keep yourself occupied with leisure activities that you enjoy and will make you happy, this will keep you occupied to the point where you will forget about her long enough for you to slowly heal, and the more time you spend not thinking about her, the better. driving and art is something that works very well for me, take long calming drives or put your ipod on and lay down a canvas infront of you and just zone out. in the event that you HAVE to think about her, channel your emotions into something positive, if youre like me, hit the gym and take it out on 250 lbs of iron lol.

7) FOCUS ON WHAT YOU HAVE GOING FOR YOU - for me, its that i have perhaps the greatest friends in the world that will help me through thick and thin, perhaps its a good job that you have, family, school, etc. this will really help you feel better and move on, for me, i came to see how fortunate i was to have all these things going for me, so much so that breaking it off with her just became petty.

7) LASTLY, GO OUT - meet new people and take time to get to know them, before you know it, your ex will be a thing of the past, and she will be replaced sooner than you know it. Clubs, parties, and other social events are a good place to start, even going to the movies the going to the gym, anywhere where there are alot of people, you can be with friends, and where you can be around alot of people in a social environment.


hope this helps guys! it actually did me alot of good to write this, and hopefully it will help at least one person that posts here! good luck guys
nice write-up
just the way i went
__________________
e30
Parazitul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2008, 12:28 PM   #4
LoveMyBMW
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Liberty, MO
Posts: 185
My Ride: 2004 330i sedan
Sorry to hear, Stan.

But you rock (and you know you rock), so I'm confident you'll be your old self soon, and will end up with a better GF.
LoveMyBMW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2008, 12:42 PM   #5
Novare330
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: orlando, FL
Posts: 3,915
My Ride: AA s/c AMBULAMPS
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveMyBMW View Post
Sorry to hear, Stan.

But you rock (and you know you rock), so I'm confident you'll be your old self soon, and will end up with a better GF.
thanks vic! check PM in a few bro!
__________________
- Stan Peng -
EUROPROJEKTZ Southeast | Co-Director


Quote:
Originally Posted by drbworld View Post
Need some opinion. Stock Titanium Silver coupe without spoiler, using the 2 Fast 2 furious skyline vinyl scheme. What do you think, do it or not? plus, i think it would look better then what most car members have here.
Novare330 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2008, 03:28 PM   #6
e36guywantse46
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: scottsdale
Posts: 573
My Ride: 2004 330ci zhp
Very, very good write-up man

My ex and I broke up a few months ago and I still get sad alot but I do my best to keep busy. I'm like you, I workout ALOT!

I also go out every weekend with my bestfriend and pick up new chicks.

I tell ya though, especially on days like sunday nights, it's hard
__________________
e36guywantse46 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2009, 11:16 PM   #7
s3th
Registered User
 
s3th's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Nor Cal -> Reno, NV
Posts: 4,382
My Ride: 05 330Ci ZHP
Quote:
Originally Posted by e36guywantse46 View Post
Very, very good write-up man

My ex and I broke up a few months ago and I still get sad alot but I do my best to keep busy. I'm like you, I workout ALOT!

I also go out every weekend with my bestfriend and pick up new chicks.

I tell ya though, especially on days like sunday nights, it's hard
i'm going threw the same thing. but i don't really try to go pick up new chicks right now.;
__________________
You can just call me seth.

500px
s3th is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2008, 04:10 PM   #8
Dev
PSHOPWERKS
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: E46Fanatics.com
Posts: 4,530
My Ride: Yellow Porsche GT2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Novare330 View Post
3) CUT HER OFF - this is a biggie, and perhaps the toughest but most effective way towards feeling better.


Don't let her find, call, text, email, etc. you. As Doc Love would say, you need to DISAPPEAR from the planet.
__________________
PSHOPWERKS
Mods: 1 Inch Nail in Tire | Purple painted calipers (you know you like Purple calipers)

Current Hate Level: 10 | Previous Hate Level: 9
The hatin' level on the E46Fanatics.com board.
Dev is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2008, 04:56 PM   #9
bavari13
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: IN
Posts: 101
My Ride: ZHP & E90 335i
I'm past week 1 but I haven't quite disappeared. I tried my best but when I went to meet my friend for lunch, guess who the fcuk was there? I pretty much ignored her and her "Text me later." It's hard not just go from seeing someone every single day and spending most of my free time with her to absolutely nothing.

Thank god I got the M3 to take my mind of **** from time to time.

Awesome write-up!
bavari13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2008, 12:21 AM   #10
Dominancex
Registered User
 
Dominancex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Downingtown, PA
Posts: 4,886
My Ride: FA5T 4DR
Send a message via AIM to Dominancex
vote to sticky!
__________________
-Hasselhoff

Dominancex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2008, 11:37 AM   #11
russ330
Mod Squad
 
russ330's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Mississippi's Gulf Coast
Posts: 15,800
My Ride: Motorsport III
Send a message via AIM to russ330
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dominancex View Post
vote to sticky!
Done.
__________________
russ330 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2008, 12:36 AM   #12
zikhkd
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Plano, TX
Posts: 2,373
My Ride: AMG
Send a message via AIM to zikhkd
Nice write up..

Also one more thing that might help.. watch porn
__________________
zikhkd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2008, 12:49 AM   #13
JJR4884
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 18,224
My Ride: BMW
good stuff stan



my number 1 rule


DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

so many people (whether in a relationship or not) hold back on doing certain things or are just more conservative than others........ if you do what you want, when you want, how you want, you will be so happy with your life, you won't feel any kind of "hurt" from not having that someone else in your life......

do what makes you happy

always
__________________
JJR4884 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2008, 01:02 AM   #14
supersam
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: long island
Posts: 555
My Ride: misses me
DIY sticky haha
__________________
supersam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2008, 09:31 PM   #15
JByron
Registered User
 
JByron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 696
My Ride: Two-wheeled unicycle
lol ^

Words of wisdom Novare, and very timely for me. It's why I disappeared from OT for the past week and half (and it took a Joon thread to bring me back). I'll be heeding that advice as I just got out of a long relationship!
__________________
So-Cal Sig Size Compliance Society: Now Less Than 800 pixels!

Last edited by JByron; 02-22-2008 at 09:33 PM.
JByron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2008, 09:34 PM   #16
saxual328ci
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,514
My Ride: 2004 325ci
If the universe keep you two together then it wasn't meant to be.

So many people try to stay in a relationship to make it work. If this was a car you would be back on the lot search for a new ride. Yes the two aren't the same but why do we put more time into finding the right car, than we do a relationship.
__________________
Clean
saxual328ci is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-22-2008, 09:39 PM   #17
JByron
Registered User
 
JByron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 696
My Ride: Two-wheeled unicycle
Everyone should remember, and take this from a guy with a degree in bio anthropology, that feeling of "she is the one" is nothing but a the convoluted end product of a veritable soup of chemical reactions in your brain. They are there to promote stability for the monkey child you don't have. Nothing but an evolutionary by-product.

There is no "one" girl for anybody, and if you find your life suffering because of a girl it is time to move on. It's that simple.
__________________
So-Cal Sig Size Compliance Society: Now Less Than 800 pixels!
JByron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2008, 11:35 AM   #18
Novare330
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: orlando, FL
Posts: 3,915
My Ride: AA s/c AMBULAMPS


thanks guys, glad you found my write up helpful, im still trying to get over the girl myself, and following my own steps lol things have been slowly getting better, writing that definitely helped me vent a little, thanks for taking the time out to read guys and lend your support

and @ DIY sticky lol i'll ask jon jon about it
__________________
- Stan Peng -
EUROPROJEKTZ Southeast | Co-Director


Quote:
Originally Posted by drbworld View Post
Need some opinion. Stock Titanium Silver coupe without spoiler, using the 2 Fast 2 furious skyline vinyl scheme. What do you think, do it or not? plus, i think it would look better then what most car members have here.
Novare330 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2008, 04:35 PM   #19
hi its me alec
Registered User
 
hi its me alec's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 15,131
My Ride: BMWs + 1988 Pathy
Send a message via AIM to hi its me alec Send a message via MSN to hi its me alec
Find her flaws? c'mon man, that's not healthy either.
__________________
WTB: Complete e46 M3 rear end

hi its me alec is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2008, 11:31 PM   #20
Novare330
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: orlando, FL
Posts: 3,915
My Ride: AA s/c AMBULAMPS
Quote:
Originally Posted by hi its me alec View Post
Find her flaws? c'mon man, that's not healthy either.
find her flaws as in tell yourself things about her that you really didnt think were too attractive.... like the way she is an attention ***** and loves attention from anyone who will give her the time a day, how she doesnt appreciate stuff you do for her, for example, in my case, aside from both of those things, the reason her and her ex husband got a divorce was because she cheated on him, once a cheater always a cheater, so that helped me say **** it, shes not worth it, because now i know its in her nature to have wandering eyes, and do i wanna put up with that in the long run? no
__________________
- Stan Peng -
EUROPROJEKTZ Southeast | Co-Director


Quote:
Originally Posted by drbworld View Post
Need some opinion. Stock Titanium Silver coupe without spoiler, using the 2 Fast 2 furious skyline vinyl scheme. What do you think, do it or not? plus, i think it would look better then what most car members have here.
Novare330 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is ON





All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:48 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
(c) 1999 - 2011 performanceIX Inc - privacy policy - terms of use