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Old 04-08-2010, 01:06 AM   #1
OrisuE46
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never been in this situation. but i just screwed myself over.

im gonna try and make this as short as possible...

okay, ive been talking to "girl A" for awhile. dated for a couple years. we've been broken up since july of last year but still are close...or at least thought we were. we've been talking about dating again but i didnt want to rush back into things, due to some personal issues and family issues. the last few months ive really been wanting to be with her. My dad passed away and it really made me second/third guess everything between us. ive been quite depressed about it. nightmare/crazy day dreams. just not fully there. Girl A has been there for me from the beginning. we've had a rough relationship but i really cant see myself with anyone else.

within these last few months i met this girl (girl B) at a friends house. didnt think much of it since ive been talking to girl A a lot Girl B decides to get my number. we text, bullshit talk nothing serious. of course she says "we should hang out" and just as a reaction i say " sure, just let me know". we kicked it once at a party, not alone, and with two of my best friends. seems harmless? after that i never seen her again. we text each other randomly throughout the next couple months till now. never on a daily basis but enough to know she really likes me.

Girl A and I are still talking daily. and ive been trying to do things to show her i care. last week we had an amazing weekend. dinner in seattle, randomly decided to get a hotel downtown, room service, breakfast, the whole nine... Girl B starts getting rude cuz we arent hanging out...mind you ive seen her TWICE my whole life. I respond to her message on fb cuz she apologized for being rude in an earlier text. again we talk about hanging out, never really saw it happening but again my ability to not say no comes and i say sure.

today Girl B leaves a post on my fb saying cant wait for the weekend, we have to hang out. or some **** to that extent. Girl A sees that before i even do. decides to message Girl B and ask about us. here is where it gets all ****ed up...

girl B then begins to tell Girl A, that we've been talking since february.(and i dont mean like the verbal talking...the "talking" you do before you start dating someone) and how i was gonna take her on a date and all this stuff about us. Girl A basically tells me to **** off..girl be DID tell me to **** off. Girl A tells me to stay the F*ck out her life since i lied.

now i know i was totally in the wrong for even agreeing to hang out with her sometime. and totally in the wrong for not telling girl B about girl A. but i really didnt think i was leading her on to believe we were gonna be some kind of lovers. i never told her i liked her or none of that. so now that girl A heard a good portion of bullshit from her she believes her of course and hates me.

WTF do i do honestly?...theres pretty much no chance in hell that Girl A would ever believe me or even talk to me for that matter, but i really do love this one. how do you prove to someone to really care about that whatever she thinks is going on isnt really?...


tried to make it short lol
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Old 04-08-2010, 01:11 AM   #2
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the truth is your friend. if she care about you she will believe that you didnt sleep with girl B....


BTW you know the rules. pics or GTFO
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Old 04-08-2010, 01:15 AM   #3
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the truth is your friend. if she care about you she will believe that you didnt sleep with girl B....


BTW you know the rules. pics or GTFO
i dont think she thinks we slept together...Girl A feels like ive been TRYING to get with girl B behind her back after i told her many times nothing was going on which IS the truth.

pics may happen depending on replies lol. dont count on it though.
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Old 04-08-2010, 01:12 AM   #4
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cliffs:

-dated/been talking to girl A, but currently not dating...
-meet girl b
-Girl B thinks we are talking for months...this is what baffles me
-girl B says we are suppose to hang out this weekend...never said that
-Girl A asks Girl B about ME
-Girl B exaggerates our conversations to make it seem like i was pursuing her...ive been avoiding her texts cuz shes been really trying to hang out
-Girl A believes Girl B...of course
-both girls told me to **** off and never speak to them again.
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Old 04-08-2010, 01:15 AM   #5
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girl C ftw! ..or perhaps girl double D.
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Old 04-08-2010, 02:16 AM   #6
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so what is girl A's opinion of you now... do you call and she doesn't pick up? You just need to confront her in person... tell her how much she means to you blah blah blah and that B is not at all a part of your life.

Oh and DELETE YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT; girls love snooping on that **** to see who is writing what on people's pages. Girl A also stepped over the line though by messaging B right off the bat... she should have asked you about it. A doing that is pretty creepy honestly, but I think it also shows how much she is into you... it was an emotional move on her part
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Old 04-08-2010, 04:11 AM   #7
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you got royaly fvcked. but girl A will still be there.
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Old 04-08-2010, 08:19 AM   #8
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so what is girl A's opinion of you now... do you call and she doesn't pick up? You just need to confront her in person... tell her how much she means to you blah blah blah and that B is not at all a part of your life.

Oh and DELETE YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT; girls love snooping on that **** to see who is writing what on people's pages. Girl A also stepped over the line though by messaging B right off the bat... she should have asked you about it. A doing that is pretty creepy honestly, but I think it also shows how much she is into you... it was an emotional move on her part
She basically thinks im a piece of sh!t, two-timing a55hole. I've messaged her and told her what really is going on. It's fcukin insane girl B thought we were going to start something when I never even told her I liked her. I really want to delete my facebook, but I have a lot of family
on there. Since my dad past most of my relatives got facebooks to keep in touch with each other, but I might just delete it for a few months. The thing is she did ask me. I told her nothing was going on, she didn't believe me so she asked for herself. She definitely got the answer she was looking for even though it's wayyyy off.



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you got royaly fvcked. but girl A will still be there.
this. and i dont think she will. she told me to get used to her not being in my life anymore...
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Old 04-08-2010, 10:21 AM   #9
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this. and i dont think she will. she told me to get used to her not being in my life anymore...
i never said u werent going to work for her.
but with all that history etc, her insecurities wont get the better of her if u intervene.
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Old 04-08-2010, 10:53 AM   #10
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dude, shouldn't you be concentrating on playing in the masters today? your tee time in in just a few hours. i thought you got all that **** straightened out in rehab.

when you start playing the field with multiple women you have to be prepared with the consequences. i don't know what you told girl a, but it sounds like she thought things were almost back to a relationship, especially with the hotel stay. girl b sounds like a bit of a control freak with the way she is acting like you are hers and have been dating. tell b to eff off and fess up and tell a the truth.
i didnt think i was playing the field. i guess i shoulda established what i wanted in the beginning with Girl B. i never mentioned being more than friends with her though. i havent talked to girl B yet. she sent me pretty mean messages. telling me to **** off. i dont think i owe anything to her, so im just gonna ignore it. like i said ive seen girl B twice! and not in a romantic setting. like how can you possible assume you are starting a relationship with someone you hardly know or seen for that matter!?!

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i never said u werent going to work for her.
but with all that history etc, her insecurities wont get the better of her if u intervene.
the thing is i have lied about things in the past...but so has she. i know all of this is my fault for even talking to girl B in the first place. i just wish i knew what to do at this point...
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Old 04-08-2010, 09:58 AM   #11
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dude, shouldn't you be concentrating on playing in the masters today? your tee time in in just a few hours. i thought you got all that **** straightened out in rehab.

when you start playing the field with multiple women you have to be prepared with the consequences. i don't know what you told girl a, but it sounds like she thought things were almost back to a relationship, especially with the hotel stay. girl b sounds like a bit of a control freak with the way she is acting like you are hers and have been dating. tell b to eff off and fess up and tell a the truth.
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Old 04-08-2010, 11:14 AM   #12
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You can't have female friends in a relationship. GTFO of it then.

BTW OP how old are you?
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Old 04-08-2010, 11:22 AM   #13
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You can't have female friends in a relationship. GTFO of it then.

BTW OP how old are you?
apparently...she has every right to be upset, i understand what it LOOKS like from her point of view. im 21 going on 22
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Old 04-08-2010, 11:40 AM   #14
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im gonna try and make this as short as possible...

- snip-

WTF do i do honestly?...theres pretty much no chance in hell that Girl A would ever believe me or even talk to me for that matter, but i really do love this one. how do you prove to someone to really care about that whatever she thinks is going on isnt really?...

tried to make it short lol

What exactly do you want to accomplish at this point? Just to squash this mess or to actually re-establish relationships with them?

Is Girl A the same chick that was all up in your E46OT posts causing you to switch screen names? If so, then she is significantly smarter than you and you need to stop playing sloppy ass games if you really want to be with her. It's simple: some chicks can be managed and some others are actually on top of their sh1t. Not only is this one on top of her sht1t, she's on top of YOURS. You're gonna need to wise up. Girl B should never have been on your facebook list. Moves like that only lead to drama.

As to whether or not you still have a chance with Girl A... tough call. Be honest, you make it sound like you two were just hanging out but were you tapping it again or not? If so, then it is way more understandable why Girl A is so pissed. She made herself vulnerable to you again and you took a dump on her trust. Simply explaining your take on the situation isn't going to help. Repairing that situation will take serious work.

On the other hand, if you weren't tapping it... then she seems more like a dramacidal psycho stalker that you need to cut loose to benefit your own mental health. What you need to ask yourself is if keeping her around in this awkward relationship limbo zone is really helping or hurting you in the long term, mentally I mean. Sometimes manning up and cutting your loses is actually the best way to go.

Just something to think about... you seem to put a lot of value on the fact that she was there for you through that rough patch in your life. In your eyes that gives her a special place in your lfie. But then why is it she is so ready to walk away from that special place? How can that be? Does she really value your relationship the same way you do or is your judgement skewed because your sprung on this chick? You gotta be real with yourself and figure out if your chasing something that is not going to work.

Only you can make the call. But I think the first thing you need to do is chill for a minute and sort out the BIG picture.
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Old 04-08-2010, 12:54 PM   #15
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What exactly do you want to accomplish at this point? Just to squash this mess or to actually re-establish relationships with them?

Is Girl A the same chick that was all up in your E46OT posts causing you to switch screen names? If so, then she is significantly smarter than you and you need to stop playing sloppy ass games if you really want to be with her. It's simple: some chicks can be managed and some others are actually on top of their sh1t. Not only is this one on top of her sht1t, she's on top of YOURS. You're gonna need to wise up. Girl B should never have been on your facebook list. Moves like that only lead to drama.

As to whether or not you still have a chance with Girl A... tough call. Be honest, you make it sound like you two were just hanging out but were you tapping it again or not? If so, then it is way more understandable why Girl A is so pissed. She made herself vulnerable to you again and you took a dump on her trust. Simply explaining your take on the situation isn't going to help. Repairing that situation will take serious work.

On the other hand, if you weren't tapping it... then she seems more like a dramacidal psycho stalker that you need to cut loose to benefit your own mental health. What you need to ask yourself is if keeping her around in this awkward relationship limbo zone is really helping or hurting you in the long term, mentally I mean. Sometimes manning up and cutting your loses is actually the best way to go.

Just something to think about... you seem to put a lot of value on the fact that she was there for you through that rough patch in your life. In your eyes that gives her a special place in your lfie. But then why is it she is so ready to walk away from that special place? How can that be? Does she really value your relationship the same way you do or is your judgement skewed because your sprung on this chick? You gotta be real with yourself and figure out if your chasing something that is not going to work.

Only you can make the call. But I think the first thing you need to do is chill for a minute and sort out the BIG picture.
dude your my new favorite member

yes she is very much on top of her and my ****. she is the chick from the other threads i posted. and you absolutely right about playing sloppy ass games cuz i WAS doing that in the past. of course me and her have sex...we dated for close to two years. i completely agree she should be upset with me. i highly doubt i have any chance with her at this point. she feels betrayed and lied to.

is it worth it? ive always thought it was. we've gone through a lot and i feel like i could never go through what we've been through and still love that person if it was any other girl. she feels like she cares more than i do...but im just not a very emotional guy. its really hard for me to express how i feel to her sometimes.

ive explained my side and thats about all i can do since shes already told me to leave her alone. so im gonna chill. delete my facebook tonight for sure...it definitely has caused me more harm then good.

thanks man. you're very smart and most of everything you said was spot on.

right now i wish i had a hot tub time machine...
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Old 04-08-2010, 08:18 PM   #16
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dude your my new favorite member

yes she is very much on top of her and my ****. she is the chick from the other threads i posted. and you absolutely right about playing sloppy ass games cuz i WAS doing that in the past. of course me and her have sex...we dated for close to two years. i completely agree she should be upset with me. i highly doubt i have any chance with her at this point. she feels betrayed and lied to.

is it worth it? ive always thought it was. we've gone through a lot and i feel like i could never go through what we've been through and still love that person if it was any other girl. she feels like she cares more than i do...but im just not a very emotional guy. its really hard for me to express how i feel to her sometimes.

ive explained my side and thats about all i can do since shes already told me to leave her alone. so im gonna chill. delete my facebook tonight for sure...it definitely has caused me more harm then good.

thanks man. you're very smart and most of everything you said was spot on.

right now i wish i had a hot tub time machine...
DEFINITELY one of the BEST decisions you can ever make these days. did it 3 months ago (very active on it, bunch of friends, tagged pics, social wall guy, etc etc) and i have never felt so good. girls begin to wonder where you are, not to mention everyone asks what you've been up to, ha. facebook causes so many problems(for me at least it did, unnecessary bs drama within our friends) and its something not many ppl realize and the fact the living without a facebook is underrated, healthy (in a way wear it frees up time in your life, allowing you to realize who you are and realize the greater things in life),and possible! great move on deleting it.
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Old 04-08-2010, 01:45 PM   #17
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good, delete that **** and move on; maybe she will come around again, in which case you can make a decision. Life is short, don't dwell

also, what is this other thread business you mentioned? She was on here snooping?

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Old 04-08-2010, 02:01 PM   #18
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good, delete that **** and move on; maybe she will come around again, in which case you can make a decision. Life is short, don't dwell

also, what is this other thread business you mentioned? She was on here snooping?
yeah im hoping in the future she will try and forgive me...

shes already read this thread but seriously she has

she knows im on this site daily. she saw me posting pics back when we were dating of other girls and got pissed cuz she knew most of them lol.
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Old 04-08-2010, 02:14 PM   #19
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Sounds like a lifetime full of drama considering how hasty she was to shut your ass down, rather than discussing it fully, like, you know .... adults.

I wouldn't deal with it.
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Old 04-08-2010, 04:47 PM   #20
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We have talked a little but she really isn't listening, let alone believing me...life sucks right now
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