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Old 06-06-2010, 04:49 PM   #1
DME46
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I'm jealous as hell.

Unless I know the guy, if some dude talks to my girl I find myself uncontrollably aggravated. Then I find myself angry and irritable, especially towards my girlfriend.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I know my girlfriend only wants me, but I can't help but want to bash every guy's head in that asks her to hang out. I trust my girlfriend not to mess around, but I HATE other guys. Most guys don't give a sh1t if a girl is in a relationship or not. Seldom does a guy want to hang out with a girl just to be friendly, at least at this age (I'm 20.)

This isn't just with my current girlfriend, but I've had this problem throughout all my relationships. Its not an issue with women, its an issue with other guys. I feel like they are trying to piss on my tree, so to speak. I find the need to rip their throats out before they even think about pissing on my tree.


Is this immaturity? Insecurity? Masculinity?
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Old 06-06-2010, 04:57 PM   #2
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Insecurity and knowing damn well that the guy doesn't just want to "hang" out with your girl.
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Old 06-06-2010, 05:00 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DME46 View Post
Is this immaturity?
This.

I'm not saying you're an immature little dope, it's just something that most men grow out of. I was much the same at your age, now, not so much.
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Old 06-06-2010, 05:00 PM   #4
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Probably a combination of the three. If you know that you can trust her around other people, you have a blessing. Yes it sucks when other guys hang out with your chick, but I hang out with girls in relationships all the time and its never an issue (I'm 20 as well). Now if some guy is hitting on her and asks her out, thats a different story. I think you need to just chill out, and have a nice civil talk with your girl about this.
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Old 06-06-2010, 05:33 PM   #5
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Probably a combination of the three. .
this.

the feeling you have, is normal, you want your woman all for yourself, that is more than normal, is healthy.
but then the way you react to it, and the tactic you deploy, is nothing but wrong, especially
Quote:
angry and irritable, especially towards my girlfriend.
even if she reacts to this, by avoiding talking or smiling to other guys, because of your reaction , (cause of course her more than anyone knows, how you react) in the end you are only given her power, cause she understand, how with so litle, she can afect you.
that leverage of power that you give her, is what, with time and routine will deteriorate your relation.
this is relationships psychology 1:1
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Old 06-06-2010, 05:52 PM   #6
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Jesus, I've seen you post about that guys radio show 3 times within the last hour, no one cares.
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Old 06-06-2010, 06:18 PM   #7
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wt is this, i guess you should become a student of leykis 101, you should listen to http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ its a radio station and you will learn af lot more than what your relationships psychology teaches you.
that was just my opinion, based on my live and experience, I was ,once upon a time, like the OP, and that only bring me grief.

ps: i didnīt mean to imply that i study any kind of subject on this matter, i said "relatioships psychology 1:1" like an expression, i have learned what I learned in life, by banging with my head on the wall, not from listening to the radio.

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Old 06-06-2010, 06:40 PM   #8
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that was just my opinion, based on my live and experience, I was ,once upon a time, like the OP, and that only bring me grief.

ps: i didnīt mean to imply that i study any kind of subject on this matter, i said "relatioships psychology 1:1" like an expression, i have learned what I learned in life, by banging with my head on the wall, not from listening to the radio.
you will not learn untill someone teaches you that knows something
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you have to understand the people that jump from car to car often have NO MONEY

they are usually making poor financial decisions and rolling over debt.

No offense to some members on the group but there are dudes making less than $35K driving in fairly new cars - lol like leasing a $40k car - wtf - the car is worth more than what you make in a year!

OP just be sensible - good luck!
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Old 06-06-2010, 06:22 PM   #9
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wtf is this, i guess you should become a student of leykis 101, you should listen to http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ its a radio station and you will learn a lot more than what your relationships psychology teaches you.
OMG. ur a student too? haha, i was lucky enough to listen to him live on 97.1. you can find all his good stuff on youtube. t-t-taaaaoooomm leykis
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Old 06-06-2010, 05:20 PM   #10
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learn how to play a game !! i bet some dude is boning your gf when youre not around, haha, you dont have to be jelous, just do the same thing and watch later on she will be up on you. ignore her little by little and start looking for other chick but dont tell anyone because a lot of snitchers around these days. don't dump her just ignore a little and she'll notice it. if she ask tell her that youre just busy. if she doesn't notice that youre ignoring her, that means she doesn't care about you. meaning she's being hump by a dude and you need to move on. be a man you should listen to tom leykis show @ http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ you will learn a lot about relationship
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you have to understand the people that jump from car to car often have NO MONEY

they are usually making poor financial decisions and rolling over debt.

No offense to some members on the group but there are dudes making less than $35K driving in fairly new cars - lol like leasing a $40k car - wtf - the car is worth more than what you make in a year!

OP just be sensible - good luck!

Last edited by IntegGeezer2Bimmer; 06-06-2010 at 05:26 PM.
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Old 06-07-2010, 04:23 PM   #11
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learn how to play a game !! i bet some dude is boning your gf when youre not around, haha, you dont have to be jelous, just do the same thing and watch later on she will be up on you. ignore her little by little and start looking for other chick but dont tell anyone because a lot of snitchers around these days. don't dump her just ignore a little and she'll notice it. if she ask tell her that youre just busy. if she doesn't notice that youre ignoring her, that means she doesn't care about you. meaning she's being hump by a dude and you need to move on. be a man you should listen to tom leykis show @ http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ you will learn a lot about relationship
No.

Most advice has been solid, except this guy's. The feeling is normal. Punishing your girlfriend for uninformed strangers approaching a beautiful girl is not. The point where you intervene is when said guy doesn't take "I'm taken." as "No." Not an excuse to lose your cool. It's an opportunity to take it real smooth and show him what he's up against. He might not like it, but she will think its pretty cool, and probably respect you for it. Just make sure you distinguish conversation and unwanted attention.

Hang in there man. Keep the hopes and trust high. The tempers not so much.
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Old 06-28-2010, 05:40 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by IntegGeezer2Bimmer View Post
learn how to play a game !! i bet some dude is boning your gf when youre not around, haha, you dont have to be jelous, just do the same thing and watch later on she will be up on you. ignore her little by little and start looking for other chick but dont tell anyone because a lot of snitchers around these days. don't dump her just ignore a little and she'll notice it. if she ask tell her that youre just busy. if she doesn't notice that youre ignoring her, that means she doesn't care about you. meaning she's being hump by a dude and you need to move on. be a man you should listen to tom leykis show @ http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ you will learn a lot about relationship
if that's what you're learning about how to maintain a good, healthy relationship, I feel really bad for you, and worse for whoever you happen to be with.

Playing games in a relationship is a road to disaster, plain and simple. All you're doing is creating insecurity and mistrust in the relationship, which will just spiral into more of the same. Self-fulfilling prophecy is the phrase that comes to mind in that case.
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Old 06-06-2010, 05:26 PM   #13
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just relax. the reason i say this is b/c i have been there. your girl is gonna do what she gonna do, aint got nothing to do with you.
\
rules of relationships:
she chills w/ other guys but nothign happen and trust isnt broken relax
she fvcks some dude, dump her and teach the prick a lesson.

life is simple. keep it that way.
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Old 06-06-2010, 06:47 PM   #14
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im trying to get out of it. same boat as you DME. I usually dont take it out on the girl though.

It's hard. though.
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Old 06-06-2010, 07:49 PM   #15
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Thanks for the advice guys. Good luck to those of you with the same problem. And no I'm not ugly lol. I think the projection is spot on. Thankfully my girl puts up with me. I need to chill out.
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Old 06-06-2010, 07:56 PM   #16
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you have to understand the people that jump from car to car often have NO MONEY

they are usually making poor financial decisions and rolling over debt.

No offense to some members on the group but there are dudes making less than $35K driving in fairly new cars - lol like leasing a $40k car - wtf - the car is worth more than what you make in a year!

OP just be sensible - good luck!
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Old 06-06-2010, 09:16 PM   #17
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at least you understand that you have this problem. i have several friends who are also extremely jealous. they're otherwise great guys, but they just get so irrationally jealous that it ruins their relationships. one of them doesnt even think he's wrong. you'd do yourself a huge favor if you fixed this problem sooner than later
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Old 06-06-2010, 09:36 PM   #18
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I don't even think it's about immaturity.

Its the fact that us dudes are ****ed up, and don't give a **** if a girl is in a relationship or not.
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Old 06-07-2010, 09:11 AM   #19
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Dude I feel exactly the same but I try not to show it. The problem is exactly what you said. They don't care she has a bf. My gf always says "they know I have a bf" and I'm like listen, guys don't give a sh1t. They'll do anything they can to get with you. She hates that because I basically tell her no guy just wants to be her friend. Especially if they are coming around after we started dating. Guys she's friends with before me I can deal with. But she honestly doesn't need to add any new guys to her phone book unless they're my friend too or a work acquaintance or something along those lines. That may sound like a d1ckhead thing but it makes sense and I think you can agree.

Good topic btw. Too bad it's in loveline where no one checks.
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Old 06-09-2010, 11:21 PM   #20
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Dude I feel exactly the same but I try not to show it. The problem is exactly what you said. They don't care she has a bf. My gf always says "they know I have a bf" and I'm like listen, guys don't give a sh1t. They'll do anything they can to get with you. She hates that because I basically tell her no guy just wants to be her friend. Especially if they are coming around after we started dating. Guys she's friends with before me I can deal with. But she honestly doesn't need to add any new guys to her phone book unless they're my friend too or a work acquaintance or something along those lines. That may sound like a d1ckhead thing but it makes sense and I think you can agree.

Good topic btw. Too bad it's in loveline where no one checks.
i know what you mean lol
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