I think I just got played

I feel like an idiot. Especially after making a thread a few weeks ago about how well things were going with a certain chick.

We've gone out at least 8 times. Things were going great from what I thought. We were supposed to do something this weekend too, but she just told me to come over since she was busy and didn't have time to get ready. I go over to her place, her and her older sister make deserts and we go get take-out. Everything was going fine, just chilled, stayed in for the night, watched a movie, whatever. End of the night, I bring up something thats been bugging me. I ask if its safe to say we're not seeing other people. She says yes, but, that she's too busy to get into anything too serious. Normally, I wouldn't care, but it's not like I've gotten much action to consider this just a 'friends with benefits' sort of thing. We've barely talked since Saturday, and its been tense everytime we do. I think I just catapulted into the friend zone. I can't believe I wasted so much time, money and effort.

I'm livid, depressed, and pissed all at the same time. First time anything like this has ever happened. I feel like a fool.

/rant

Hang out.
Make Moves.
?????????
Bust Nut.

well did u guys bang

step back, chill.


give it a bit of time. Let her do her thing.

Anything that is forced.... isn't meant to be.

We love you V.

Originally Posted by Gheybe

step back, chill.


give it a bit of time. Let her do her thing.

Anything that is forced.... isn't meant to be.

We love you V.

thanks buddy, I appreciate it. You're definitely right.

have you guys hooked up? I didnt read the other thread

^ this

I would've hit at least a few times if I had gone out with her/chilled more then 8 times.

Did you?

Well...at least she told you in person! Girl I was seeing (same effort put in as you) while I thought things were going great, decided to tell me via text she's not interested..but I got my d!ck wet so...on to the next one for you my man!

I never played the money game.

If she was really in to me, then she should pick up every other or every third date.

I could never understand why the man had to pay to get to know the woman.

JMO.

Originally Posted by GlockMan

I never played the money game.

If she was really in to me, then she should pick up every other or every third date.

I could never understand why the man had to pay to get to know the woman.

JMO.

just the right opinion. You get it. If my next girl isn't like that she wont be my next girl.

Originally Posted by DylloS

just the right opinion. You get it. If my next girl isn't like that she wont be my next girl.

I agree - I don't think I paid for anything until about the 3rd date when my wife and I started dating. It isn't because I didn't like her, it's just that I'm not going to throw money down the drain when things are rather uncertain.

I've always wondered why people go out to a nice-ish restaurant on the first few dates. You might as well be lighting money on fire.

Originally Posted by GlockMan

I never played the money game.

If she was really in to me, then she should pick up every other or every third date.

I could never understand why the man had to pay to get to know the woman.

JMO.

I've really started being more like this with new girls that I hang out with. In relationships I've always gotten to the point of splitting things but never much did it with new girls prior to now.

I need the girl to at lest attempt to try and pay when we go out, it's my choice to pick up the tab if I want to but honestly a little consideration goes a long way -- I hate it now when they will just sit there as if it is expected, even first dates sometimes....a subtle reach for the bill before I grab it is all I want!

Originally Posted by GlockMan

I never played the money game.

If she was really in to me, then she should pick up every other or every third date.

I could never understand why the man had to pay to get to know the woman.

JMO.

In those movies that show that, the ultimate goal is marriage. The only thing that removes the woman from the equation is a serious change of heart (the level of which you can base the whole plot on) or an understandable tragedy. Fickle girls who have the capacity to break it off with a text or a tweet ought to be paying their half the whole time.

Originally Posted by SLVR JDM

I agree - I don't think I paid for anything until about the 3rd date when my wife and I started dating. It isn't because I didn't like her, it's just that I'm not going to throw money down the drain when things are rather uncertain.

I've always wondered why people go out to a nice-ish restaurant on the first few dates. You might as well be lighting money on fire.

I agree. I wasted $60 last week on a girl at an ok restaurant. I can't afford this sh1t lol

Originally Posted by HyeWarrior

I feel like an idiot. Especially after making a thread a few weeks ago about how well things were going with a certain chick.

We've gone out at least 8 times. Things were going great from what I thought. We were supposed to do something this weekend too, but she just told me to come over since she was busy and didn't have time to get ready. I go over to her place, her and her older sister make deserts and we go get take-out. Everything was going fine, just chilled, stayed in for the night, watched a movie, whatever. End of the night, I bring up something thats been bugging me. I ask if its safe to say we're not seeing other people. She says yes, but, that she's too busy to get into anything too serious. Normally, I wouldn't care, but it's not like I've gotten much action to consider this just a 'friends with benefits' sort of thing. We've barely talked since Saturday, and its been tense everytime we do. I think I just catapulted into the friend zone. I can't believe I wasted so much time, money and effort.

I'm livid, depressed, and pissed all at the same time. First time anything like this has ever happened. I feel like a fool.

/rant

If you've been out 8 times, it's nice that she said "yes...she's not seeing anyone." It's also understandable that she's not ready to get into anything serious. Not knowing how old you were, I can only surmise (I didn't read your other thread) that you thought she was the one and wanted her to think the same of you.

It's better you know. But, you have the enviable position of having a friend with benefits and you can still troll for other women with her...discreetly, of course. Wear mirrored sunglasses (they still in?).

Don't be angry, depressed, or pissed. Be happy that you learned that the spark she feels for you is less than you wanted it to be. Perhaps, also, you could, how shall I say...add to your repertoire. Watch Colbert Re-runs and maybe you'll find a spot you can use to your advantage...but do not ever speak of this spot again or its power will be lessened by becoming common.

She'll say things like "I'll never be able to be with another man now, dammit!" Don't gloat or smirk.

Next Wednesday around 12:47 p.m. they'll be a brunette entering a door you're leaving from. Turn around and tell her I said "hi"

She'll go "****" and you go "no seriously, dmax said "hi""

I think you'll know what to do from there.

What else? Trim your fingernails and file them smoother.

Do I have to do everything around here?

Originally Posted by HyeWarrior

I feel like an idiot. Especially after making a thread a few weeks ago about how well things were going with a certain chick.

We've gone out at least 8 times. Things were going great from what I thought. We were supposed to do something this weekend too, but she just told me to come over since she was busy and didn't have time to get ready. I go over to her place, her and her older sister make deserts and we go get take-out. Everything was going fine, just chilled, stayed in for the night, watched a movie, whatever. End of the night, I bring up something thats been bugging me. I ask if its safe to say we're not seeing other people. She says yes, but, that she's too busy to get into anything too serious. Normally, I wouldn't care, but it's not like I've gotten much action to consider this just a 'friends with benefits' sort of thing. We've barely talked since Saturday, and its been tense everytime we do. I think I just catapulted into the friend zone. I can't believe I wasted so much time, money and effort.

I'm livid, depressed, and pissed all at the same time. First time anything like this has ever happened. I feel like a fool.

/rant

Maybe she really liked you for the first seven dates and then realized that you weren't someone she really saw herself with long-term. So rather than drag things out she tried to let you down easy.

Originally Posted by VaderDave

Maybe she really liked you for the first seven dates and then realized that you weren't someone she really saw herself with long-term. So rather than drag things out she tried to let you down easy.

This is possible and most likely exactly what happened.

Your momma didn't raise no boz. You let her control situation when your instinct was telling you that she didn't want to commit. What did you honestly expect? Never ask that question in this scenario unless you're prepared to walk. Instead of asking that sour puss question, be the man and confront your suspicion. Explain that get a sense that she may not be ready for a relationship and follow with an affirmation that that's okay (this will keep her from feeling intimidated so she can be honest). Then discuss from there (but keep your cards close to you). If an open relationship is what's best, then do that and tell her that you will treat your time together as if she's the only one and that you expect the same. The best way to get someone to commit is to make them feel like they are free.

I think everyone already hit the points with regards to investment - chalk it up to experience.

the correct answer is: she's dead to me.