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Love Line

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Old 07-23-2010, 11:33 PM   #1
DCJodon
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My girlfriend is depressed.

Me and my girlfriend have issues with our fathers:

-Alcoholic
-Depressed
-Angry
-On meds for said attributes.

Our fathers essentially parallel each other.

Although recently, it came to the point where my father killed his girlfriend and attempted suicide. As soon as I informed her of this, she became worried of her father who has similar issues. She wrote a long email to her father expressing that he means the world to her, and does not want to see him come to the same point as my father. But after an unresponded email and unreturned phone calls, she has been very depressed where she would rather be home alone than being with me. I'm worried because I don't want her to isolate herself and have the issue worsen, ultimately me losing her over depression.

I'm just not sure at all what to do in this situation. We are vacationing to OCMD in 2 weeks so I'm hoping I can help lift her spirits in the mean time.
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then don't call me bro, cause you're obviously not chill, bro.
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Old 07-24-2010, 02:59 AM   #2
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I hate to hear that, and I hope things get better, but I can't resist posting this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5263250
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Old 07-24-2010, 05:27 AM   #3
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Although recently, it came to the point where my father killed his girlfriend and attempted suicide.
what the fvck!
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Old 07-24-2010, 08:23 AM   #4
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what the fvck!
word
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Old 07-24-2010, 10:20 AM   #5
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Theres really nothing you can do right now expect be her buddy. You can always do little things that will make her smile here and there- write a card, buy her flowers, etc. You know your gf best, so you know what makes her smile.
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Old 07-24-2010, 01:16 PM   #6
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I know, it's fvcked up.
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Old 07-25-2010, 01:29 AM   #7
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If neither of you are already doing it, talk to a professional. There's no shame in talking to a therapist or a counselor. You may very well be with each other because you share common traumas, but because of that you reinforce those issues. It's near impossible to deal with these issues on ones own, or with the help of a loved one.
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Old 07-25-2010, 10:15 PM   #8
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If neither of you are already doing it, talk to a professional. There's no shame in talking to a therapist or a counselor. You may very well be with each other because you share common traumas, but because of that you reinforce those issues. It's near impossible to deal with these issues on ones own, or with the help of a loved one.
I see a therapist now, she used to. But she doesn't want to see one at all. She doesn't even want to talk to me about it. I keep telling her that I feel like I'm losing her, but she reassures me that I'm not. I just really hate to see her like this.
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Old 07-26-2010, 01:06 AM   #9
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Sounds stupid... but maybe find a movie... or book where the main character is going through something similar. She could read it... and maybe sub consciously realize how she's hurting herself and you. Ultimately, she needs to want to cheer up... nothing you do will change how she feels inside.

If I'm having an issue with my GF, I'll wait till the issue has kind of passed, or at least hasn't been talked about for a while. Then I'll talk about a "friend" and what they're going through... I ask her what she would tell my friend... it's kind of like letting her psycho analyze herself.
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Old 07-27-2010, 08:47 PM   #10
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Seems like her dad might not be the issue, if she really is depressed. Withdrawing because of family problems doesn't make sense to me, especially when there is someone like you to talk with... who has really been through it all.

It's one thing to be down/stressed/worried at this point in her life, about her father; it's quite another to be clinically depressed about the situation... something else is going on I think
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Old 07-30-2010, 12:41 PM   #11
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Actually everything's OK now. She went right back to normal after talking on the phone with her father for 2 hours.
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Old 07-30-2010, 03:56 PM   #12
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glad to here that and have a great time at OCMD
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Old 07-30-2010, 04:13 PM   #13
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Actually everything's OK now. She went right back to normal after talking on the phone with her father for 2 hours.
that's not depression then. Glad to hear her spirits are up though
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Old 08-01-2010, 10:23 PM   #14
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that's not depression then. Glad to hear her spirits are up though
Seemed like it. I'm glad too. And life goes on.
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Old 08-02-2010, 12:09 AM   #15
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clinical depression is generally internal and what your girl was experiencing was not. She was just distressed
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