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Old 02-17-2011, 06:20 PM   #8821
racermech
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Anyone know who this is? An old friend broke his back doing moto tricks and he is crazy enough to try this....doubt it is him but would be pretty awesome if it was
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:34 PM   #8822
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Anyone know who this is? An old friend broke his back doing moto tricks and he is crazy enough to try this....doubt it is him but would be pretty awesome if it was
Some guy named Aaron fotheringham
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:37 PM   #8823
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hey I know this isnt the bast place to ask but that is that smiley that is so popular and everyone uses and there are many variations of it. It is the one that looks supe excited and his eyes are kinda looking to the side?
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:45 PM   #8824
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other threads just die... the WTF thread is weak, why start a cool pics thread... KISS, keep it simple stupid. one thread for ALLLLLLL.
There is a reason why they die.

LOL PICTURE thread stays!
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:48 PM   #8825
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Damn, don't you know the dog could rip your throat out at any minute?
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:57 PM   #8826
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Guys, read this story, it's way funny.

The day started out pretty good, I got a wakeup call from a friend with a invitation to a party. Took a shower and went to McDonalds for lunch because I didn't feel like making something at home. I took some anti-headache pills because my head started to hurt, probably because I slept for too long and I didn't want to ruin the evening for me because of a small headache. Anyways I had to pick up my friend on my way to the party. We were all in a good mood, nice weather, no traffic, music pumping, etc So we come over there, meet our other friends, drank some cognac and smoked some Cuban cigars. Everything is good, we're having a great time playing pool and darts sipping on our cognac. And then, someone had this great idea to invite some stripers . I thought why the **** not, that would be fun. So two of the guys went out to meet them because the girls didn't know exactly where we were at. So half an hour passes by and they come back. I was very excited to see them, I imagined to see some hot bleached out blondes. As soon as the girls come in, I realized... They were not stripers... they were Hookers, and I knew what was going to happen. Now before I proceed with my little story, everyone who knows me knows that I'm pretty selective towards girls, I **** eights and I date nines. I never directly paid to a girl to have sex with me, I mean I bought drinks, clothes, shoes, jewelry with the intention to have sex in the near future. I never have sex with a girl that I don't have any feelings towards her, there's always this little spark, "I think I love her"...

OK, so the girls get in and introduce to us. One of the girls looked like someone went to 1988 in Russia and put her in a time machine, and now she's here. Everything was old skool about her, the clothes , the haircut, the makeup, the way she talked, etc. I could tell she tried every drug known to man, at least TWICE and probably was an alcoholic too. She wasn't that bad looking, I would rate her at about six. Enough about that girl, she's not the main character in this story. Moving on to the next girl, she also was Russian, in fact she was Russian/Korean Now unlike 90% of you in this forum drool over Asian girls, I don't like them. she had this short bright red skirt on and a white, almost see through blouse and high heel stilettos. At first I couldn't tell how old she was, it's kinda hard to say how old an Asian looks like and I don't see them around here often, mostly in Chinese restaurants. She was much better looking than girl number one, not like your regular crackhead hooker. So we talk a bit, drink some more, smoke . Girl number one asked me about cigars all the time, how much they cost, how to smoke them properly, etc. Then I talked to the guys in another room, WTF was going on, hookers were not planned that night I said that I don't want one and everyone started convincing me how ****ing awesome it would be. The guys were giggling like little high school boys on a Christmas night, some of them were married. I was already buzzed and they finally convinced me, I mean why the **** not, you should try everything in life, boy was I wrong...

I was the first one to go, It happened so quickly, I was going through the CD's to put some good music on, and the next thing I know the Russian/Korean girl is next to me. She took my arm and we went to this office room that had a couch in it. She asked me "Do you want to be my friend tonight?" Yeah, sure. We turned the lights off in the room, It was dark, the room had windows but no street lights were near the place, all the light source we had was the moon... We started dancing, closely, she said that I'm very handsome I played along, but in reality I wanted to get this thing to get over quickly. I grabbed her ass to signal that I want to get to the next step, we started to kiss, slowly at first, then faster, more intense French kissing. Her perfume was killing me, it smelled like... like funeral, that's the only way I can describe it. She was a bad kisser, not passionate at all, I had better kisses when I was in 5th grade. I let her do all the work, she took her blouse off, danced a little more, my dick started to get hard, I rubbed it against her ass, it felt pretty good. She took her skirt and bra off and my shirt, it was kinda funny it got stuck around my watch because I didn't unbutton it, so I was forcing it of my arm, I was drunk and when it finally came off I almost fell down from all the inertia now I'm all excited, I grabbed her ****, they were pretty nice, kinda small, but that's ok, I hate oversized ****, they could have been more firmer though. She started to unbuckle my belt, but I could tell it was kind of complicated to do it for her, so I helped her out. She took my jeans down, I tried to take my shoes off and again I almost fell down, it was ****ing dark in there. So now I'm ready, my dick is almost at his working condition, she asked me if I wanted to use a condom, I said yes. Now this is another mistake that I made that night, I let her use her condom, some cheap one. I had these super tight red Durex condoms with raspberry flavor and ****, I use them all the time but for some reason I didn't this time. It was too late anyway, she was already putting one on my dick, damn those girls work fast. She started to suck my dick, it was alright, had better blowjobs, and she only did it for like 30 seconds. So my dick is ready, I'm ready, she's ready, she leaned over to the couch, with here ass towards me. She still had her tong on and I took it off, her ass was ice cold and wobbly, soft, totally different from Latina girls.

OK so here we go, like I said it was ****ing dark in there, I could barely see her ass, so she helped me guide my dick in her *****... And you thought the presex was bad, here's where the epic failure ensues. Like I said she was Asian, so I was expecting a very tight *****. Oh no, it was so wide that I had to check if my dick is still in there many times, I seriously couldn't feel anything, I'm still debating what went wrong, maybe because I was drunk, you know when you drink alcohol you kinda loose feeling a little, like you can go flying through the window, get back up take the glass pieces from your head and continue drinking again... So I'm doing her from the back, doggystyle, for like 10 minutes, not enjoying it at all. Her faked orgasms almost made me burst out laughing, If you think the moans, groans and screams in porn movies sound fake, you should of have heard her, completely out of sync, she was moaning even when I wasn't touching her, it was bad, really bad. Hundreds of thoughts ran through my head, I seriously was thinking what would JonJon and the rest of the E46FOT gang do... So I got tired and wanted to switch the position, I got my dick out and I noticed it even wasn't hard anymore, she did a quick blowjob and there we go again, this time in a regular position, now I could see her face a little, I felt kind of guilty, sad and sorry for her, I paid money to have sex with her and she most probably was enjoying it even less than me I tried to think positively, so I put my fingers in her ***** to check it out . OMG it was so wet I never ever felt this kind of wetness before, no wonder I wasn't feeling anything. Maybe that's a Asian thing or maybe she put a gallon of lubricant in there, who knows. The wideness of the ***** is hard to describe, I could put my whole fist in there no problem, I think I could have put two fists in there without much effort. I seriously thought about piitb but she probably would have asked for another 250. Now I'm desperate to cum all over her, I suggested we should turn the lights on, she agreed. Now I could see her whole body, the ****, ass, ***** she really had an amazing body. Her **** had these lovely dark nipples, I sucked on them for a while Her ***** was beautiful too, she had a little hair left on top of it. I suggested that she could try sucking it without the condom, she did, billy went straight up again, I felt good, for a while at least. And then, **** like I needed more turnoffs, I noticed a scar going straight up from her ***** to the belly button. I realized that she was once pregnant that totally turned me down, oh and did I mentioned her perfume, I smelled it all the time, I would rather have smelled her ******* the whole time. I really tried to concentrate and cum all over her face, I looked at her boobs, at her face, *****, while she was sucking, it didn't help...

I let her know that I was done, she tried to cheer me up by saying it happens all the time, yeah right. I put my ****ing clothes on and went out of the room, you probably can imagine how I felt. Now I had to high five all my buddies and look like all awesome and how ****ing awesome it was. Right after that I did the smarted thing I could possibly do, I started to drink, finished the bottle of cognac, open up a bottle of vodka, didn't even bother to find shotglasses, I drank it from the bottle and would drink it up with beer. I felt ****ing horrible, I could hear one of my friends doing it with chick number one in the Jacuzzi and someone else was doing the Asian chick in the office again. Later I found out she was 34 and indeed has a kid. So yeah I drank, ate pizza while watching CNN and also felt bad because I wasted 250 bucks and I'm kind of tight with money right now.. Then I couldn't take it anymore and went home with a bouncing speed limiter. Got home, drank some more, smoked some hookah, thought about jacking off, but the only thing that night that could have made me cum was probably porn with a black amputee shemale with two dicks ****ed by a horse. I still don't know what the **** happened, was it my condition, was it the girl or was it this whole situation I was in. I think I should get one of those cheap craigslist hookers just to try it out again, just to see what happens.
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:59 PM   #8827
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hey I know this isnt the bast place to ask but that is that smiley that is so popular and everyone uses and there are many variations of it. It is the one that looks supe excited and his eyes are kinda looking to the side?
awesome smiley?

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Old 02-17-2011, 09:01 PM   #8828
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awesome smiley?

YES!!! Mucho thank you
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:07 PM   #8829
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Guys, read this story, it's way funny.


Not horribly funny. Actually, it sounds like one of those nights where you wake up feeling guilty the next day, and you feel even worse about it throughout the day as you randomly remember the forgotten details.
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:12 PM   #8830
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took forever but I finally found what I was looking for, thanks for your help tifreak
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:13 PM   #8831
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Seeing as how that was a chocolate lab, and would bite his face clean off, he's gotta ask himself one question: does he feel lucky?
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:28 PM   #8832
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Guys, read this story, it's way funny.
who wrote this? i read it before a long time ago. is this some old f2b story or something?
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:36 PM   #8833
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Damn, don't you know the dog could rip your throat out at any minute?
I do the same exact thing to my dog Right in the middle of growling she'll turn around and give you dog kisses. although she is 50 pounds lighter and not as scary
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:53 PM   #8834
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who wrote this? i read it before a long time ago. is this some old f2b story or something?
Ask Aiknats.
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Old 02-17-2011, 09:55 PM   #8835
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Not horribly funny. Actually, it sounds like one of those nights where you wake up feeling guilty the next day, and you feel even worse about it throughout the day as you randomly remember the forgotten details.
It's only funny because it was written by someone on this very page.

sshhhhhh
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:09 PM   #8836
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took forever but I finally found what I was looking for, thanks for your help tifreak
glad to help
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:13 PM   #8837
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more funnies please.
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I can honestly say that because of Griffin, i am desensitized to alot of wierd stuff!
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:18 PM   #8838
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:19 PM   #8839
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http://www.e46fanatics.com/forum/sho....php?p=8671413

making me do all the work.. (well.. google did all the work, i just copy/pasted a sizable chunk into google)

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Old 02-17-2011, 11:43 PM   #8840
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