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Love Line

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Old 09-04-2012, 07:46 AM   #21
Mark M
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OP, not faulting you at all....the initial approach is always somewhat of an art...one that I am not perfect at either. As men we are use to being direct, succinct, and to the point. Where as women like a bit more ambiguity and slow soft sell, a bit of a chase. Every woman wants the beginning to feel like a fairy tale romance. So the direct approach can work, but it has to be balanced carefully.

In this girl's case, from your description she is very attractive and likely use to guys making moves on her. You are at her gym, so she didn't want to come off like a beotch and have things awkward if you bump into each other again. Which is why she gave you her number, but then let you down with the 'boyfriend' story.

More about girls.....I heard a quote once, "Make a girl's dreams come true she will love you forever." There is truth in this. Women are VERY emotoinal creatures and they live in the moment of their dreams and their emotions. Women don't follow logic...that is what we men do. The majority of female decisions and actions are emotionally driven. Girls start playing with Barbies at a young age, they dream of Ken and Barbie and babies, the big house the huge grand wedding, the loving husband and them being the princess. To have value in a girls mind, you have to be their Ken. You have to be that man that fulfills their childhood dreams. This is why the art of Projection works SOOOOO well. I love Projection and exploit it shamelessly. If you get a girl thinking about her dreams and you project yourself as that man you've won the game and hooked her.

Us guys are use to moving slow, feeling things out, weighing it with logic and also slow to commit and slow to show real intimacy / affection. But the girl that sees her dreams coming true in you, is on cloud 9. She is bragging about you to everyone and is moving at 100mph. She is not acting on logic, she is acting on her happy high emotions. Yes, to keep her hooked you might have to accelerate your pace more than you traditionally would prefer, but remember, you've become her dream man. Why would you want to do anything to shatter that?

After all, don't all of us men seek a woman who adores us, appreciates us, and wants to please us? If catering to their dreams is the cost, why not?
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Old 09-04-2012, 08:09 AM   #22
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Mark M - I definitely wish I could have moved slower and gotten to know her before I asked her out. Unfortunately directly asking her was really my only option. I go to that gym probably 4-5 days a week and I have never seen her there (Been going about 2 months).

Also - I found her on facebook and it does indicate "In a relationship with 'guy"
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Old 09-04-2012, 11:08 AM   #23
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Lol you creeped her Facebook. I didn't think you could see relationship status if you weren't friends.
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:13 PM   #24
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Mark M - I definitely wish I could have moved slower and gotten to know her before I asked her out. Unfortunately directly asking her was really my only option. I go to that gym probably 4-5 days a week and I have never seen her there (Been going about 2 months).

Also - I found her on facebook and it does indicate "In a relationship with 'guy"
well fuuck that then lol
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:13 PM   #25
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Lol you creeped her Facebook. I didn't think you could see relationship status if you weren't friends.
depends on her privacy settings
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:32 PM   #26
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I had to find out after it was alleged that she really didn't have a BF and she just wasn't interested in me
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:46 PM   #27
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I think you should carry a slipper around with you in your backpack and when you see another woman you're interested in, just pull it out and ask her if she'd mind trying on this slipper.

Then, make up this story that explains the request. Of course, it plays to her Cinderella fantasy...

"3 months ago I was kind of drunk at a frat party, but dig this chick who was amazing. She left this slipper and I've been carrying it around trying to find her again."

Told right, Hellfish, she'll be crying and diving right on top of you right there. Make sure you don't dent your e46!

Mark's advice is great if your goal is to play with girls and be the Ken doll, but I have to say that women aren't games.

I think you should be yourself, and then the woman who appreciates you will be appreciating you...not the things around her. Of course, with my approach, I guess there'd be much less sex, but longer-term, greater reward.

(Sorry, OP, I'm really old...that's why I sound like this!)
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Old 09-04-2012, 04:16 PM   #28
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If you were a hot 20 year old in college, that got hit on a dozen times a day, would you give a shot to all 12? I can assure you women want a game, not some jersey shore game, a game that gives them something to chase as well. We as men like it when a girl gives us a sense of accomplishment, when a girl just gives it up the first date-we take it, but aren't intrigued anymore (typically, there are exceptions), same for girls. If you can't see it, you're too new at it, or been out of it for too long.

Women want a man with experience, that they can convert into prince charming. You approach as prince charming, you become her friend prince charming, because you literally took away any chase for them. This game isn't to be shown, the girl shouldn't know what you're doing. It's not a game that causes issues or to be dragged along, it's a psychological game. I'm just trying to say that being honest doesn't work for many.

I'm also giving this advice for a college girl, you have to know your target. Girl out of college and looking to settle are different people, girls in college have thousands of options, so you have to separate yourself from the rest.
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Old 09-06-2012, 07:50 PM   #29
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Every approach, failed or succeeded, needs to be analyzed. Only way you will get better. You did what most wouldn't do, but you now know what you need to do better next time. You fail when you get emotionally attached quickly, and you lose confidence for the next run. Consider each approach nothing but a game, and you will get better. The fact that me telling you this is getting you agitated, says you had already become emotionally attached.

Take my advice or not, but until you're rational about each attempt, you won't progress.
ColinsE90 knows WTF he's talking about. Been there, done that; and I even see some of the same issues that OP is sweeping under the rug with my guy friends who have less experience.
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