E46 BMW Social Directory E46 FAQ 3-Series Discussion Forums BMW Photo Gallery BMW 3-Series Technical Information E46 Fanatics - The Ultimate BMW Resource BMW Vendors General E46 Forum The Tire Rack's Tire Wheel Forum Forced Induction Forum The Off-Topic The E46 BMW Showroom For Sale, For Trade or Wanting to Buy

Welcome to the E46Fanatics forums. E46Fanatics is the premiere website for BMW 3 series owners around the world with interactive forums, a geographical enthusiast directory, photo galleries, and technical information for BMW enthusiasts.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Go Back   E46Fanatics > Everything Else > The Off-Topic > Love Line

Love Line

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 09-04-2012, 09:53 PM   #1
Glidde8
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: MA
Posts: 49
My Ride: 2004 325CI
Think I messed it up....advice?

So I have been dating this chick for about 7 months now and I think I may of blown it up the other night....
First some background info. We are both 25 with full time jobs out of college. We have mutual friends and would all hang out together from HS all the way up to now. About 8 months ago we went out tell each other we like each other go out on a couple of dates blah blah blah become official. So about 4 months into the relationship she drops the I love you line and yes I said it back and really meant it. For the record I have been in Long relationships in the past where I was always the first one to drop the love you line...usually a little while longer then 4 months but I really did feel like I knew this girl enough that my feelings were legit.
Fast forward to sat night. Having people over my house and we start day drinking. We are both pretty drunk and I see a dude start talking to my girl...don't think anything of it. Then it looks like he's getting pretty close to her so I keep an eye on it still not worried. Then I see him take out his phone, she looks at it says something then walks away. Well me in my drunken state took that as her giving him her number. We go inside and a big drunken argument ensues. Ok so I'm an ass when I get drunk but that's not the problem (well it is but nothing a nice dinner can't fix). So my problem is in my drunken rant telling this girl how much I care about her I dropped the gem "you're the girl I want to marry". Honestly I think I may have scared her a little bit because she has been acting kinda strange the past few days. Just want to get other people perspective. Let me know if you think I could of blown it?
Glidde8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 05:19 AM   #2
BMWDon
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: MD
Posts: 2,984
My Ride: Needs a cage
if you can't talk it out, then it wasn't meant to be. she dropped the I love you bomb first (you followed right up...so you're both in the shti deep now)...so if the thought of marraige has her acting weird, then the I love you phrase was just a bunch of bs. talk to her and sort it out, better to pull up anchor now than waste more of each others time if you can't get over this quick. good luck
__________________
BMWDon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 07:10 AM   #3
Mark M
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Lancaster, PA
Posts: 420
My Ride: e30 M3 / e90 335d
Give her space...pull away and become somewhat distant / aloof. Whatever you do, don't chase after her trying to pine away and make it all better. No girl ever said they want a clingy man. Be the man, make her think you're not afraid to walk. She'll come back around.
__________________
Mark M is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 08:57 AM   #4
casino is no lie
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: CDT
Posts: 76
My Ride: M54B30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark M View Post
Give her space...pull away and become somewhat distant / aloof. Whatever you do, don't chase after her trying to pine away and make it all better. No girl ever said they want a clingy man. Be the man, make her think you're not afraid to walk. She'll come back around.
Personally I think that is a terrible idea. It's essentially punishing her for something he said then coercing her back into the relationship because the fear of being without him is greater than being with him.

The fact is... she should want to be with you. Not that it's some how more convenient or more attractive to be with him than without.


OP, it's going to be a delicate balance of giving her some space to simply digest what you said. The best you can do is play it cool, apologize for your behavior and be patient. If things don't improve in a couple weeks then there may be more to it. Just don't remove yourself from the picture entirely.
__________________
casino is no lie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 09:00 AM   #5
Mayo
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calgary, Ab
Posts: 297
My Ride: CBR600RR
Next time you see a girl do something like that, keep quiet and snoop through her phone a couple days later.
__________________
TopasBlau 330Ci
M-Tech II || Borla Catback || Bilstein PSS || K&N CAI ||Shark Injected || eBay headers ||
DICE Silverline || Smoked LED Tails/Sidemarkers || Clear Corners || 18" x 8.5/9.5 Forgestar F14's on Kumho

Mayo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 09:45 AM   #6
casino is no lie
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: CDT
Posts: 76
My Ride: M54B30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayo View Post
Next time you see a girl do something like that, keep quiet and snoop through her phone a couple days later.
That's healthy. If there is no trust the relationship is doomed.
__________________
casino is no lie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 10:22 AM   #7
BimmersGarage
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Dallas, TX (USA)
Posts: 2,185
My Ride: E46 330i
Send a message via Skype™ to BimmersGarage
Saying something when you're drunk should not be the issue. And what you said to her should not be a problem neither.

Now that both of you are sober, just keep your communications open. Mention to her that you've notice a change in her behavior and that you think it's from what happened during the get-together... Just ask her straight - is there something bothering/worrying you? (instead of beating around the bush, asking for our perspective.) Listen to what she says and go from there.
BimmersGarage is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 10:23 AM   #8
kushy
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: kids these days are pu55ies
Posts: 238
My Ride: automatic m3
tell her "you're everything I didn't think I wanted in a girl"
kushy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 10:35 AM   #9
Mark M
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Lancaster, PA
Posts: 420
My Ride: e30 M3 / e90 335d
Or dedicate several Air Supply songs to her "You're every woman in the world to me" and lavish her in wine, roses, and have those cute his and her's personalized license plates made up with both your initials together. Then afterward go out and get her name tattooed on your chest
__________________
Mark M is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 11:43 AM   #10
Mayo
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calgary, Ab
Posts: 297
My Ride: CBR600RR
Quote:
Originally Posted by casino is no lie View Post
That's healthy. If there is no trust the relationship is doomed.
I'll build my trust my way. Women are sneaky, much more than most guys will give them credit for. Fvck blind trust, keyloggers, when I see a girl shut down numerous guys over FB ect. without me "knowing"...that's how I build trust.
__________________
TopasBlau 330Ci
M-Tech II || Borla Catback || Bilstein PSS || K&N CAI ||Shark Injected || eBay headers ||
DICE Silverline || Smoked LED Tails/Sidemarkers || Clear Corners || 18" x 8.5/9.5 Forgestar F14's on Kumho

Mayo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 12:08 PM   #11
casino is no lie
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: CDT
Posts: 76
My Ride: M54B30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayo View Post
I'll build my trust my way.
Might I recommend working on your insecurities first?
__________________
casino is no lie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 12:13 PM   #12
Glidde8
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: MA
Posts: 49
My Ride: 2004 325CI
Dude I'm not going to go looking through her phone I personally think that's messed up. I wouldn't want her going through mine, not that I have anything to hide. But it's that sense of privacy that I feel even in a relationship each person needs...

I think I'm going to go with the tattoo on my chest.

Seriously though, i am going to see how things go for the next few days of she is still acting weird Ill straight up ask her what's going on and let her know how I'm feeling about the way she's been acting. Thanks for the advice everyone...I'll keep you updated
Glidde8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 12:13 PM   #13
CollinsE90
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: The bar
Posts: 340
My Ride: 330i
If you think snooping through your girl's phone will prevent her from doing anything, I feel sorry for you. If you thinking catching her with a phone will make it easier, again, I feel sorry for you.

OP, sounds to me like your gut feels you're losing her so you made a drastic move to prevent it. You've already shown a lack of trust, it will take some work to fix. Good luck.
__________________
CollinsE90 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 03:34 PM   #14
DylloS
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NY
Posts: 672
My Ride: nothing
IMO if that line scares someone at this age and that far along into a relationship you two were on very different levels as it was.
DylloS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2012, 04:00 PM   #15
casino is no lie
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: CDT
Posts: 76
My Ride: M54B30
OP needs to get DL with the FL.
__________________
casino is no lie is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is ON





All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:17 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
(c) 1999 - 2011 performanceIX Inc - privacy policy - terms of use