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Old 09-13-2012, 10:03 AM   #21
217Bimmer
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ask your mom. i heard she's a very classy lady.
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:12 AM   #22
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Grab a finger-ful and yank it like you yank you nose hairs.

no pain no gain
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:21 AM   #23
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have your mrs shave it.
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:24 AM   #24
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have your mrs shave it.
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:26 AM   #25
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Crack hair is manly. I comb my lovely locks.
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:28 AM   #26
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Lmao you made it seem like gold.

I'll give Wally's a shot, shipping to Canada's a bitch eh.
It is gold. It's brilliant. It's amazing. I shaved my sack to the point where it's smooth on Lair's face and I didn't get a single pinch.

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Old 09-13-2012, 10:45 AM   #27
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im a man, i dont shave my ass
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:12 PM   #28
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It is gold. It's brilliant. It's amazing. I shaved my sack to the point where it's smooth on Lair's face and I didn't get a single pinch.



I've never met a more considerate homosexual.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:14 PM   #29
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I've never met a more considerate homosexual.
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Old 09-13-2012, 06:55 PM   #30
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close your eyes and take it like a .......
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Old 09-13-2012, 07:04 PM   #31
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Old 09-13-2012, 07:12 PM   #32
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Don't Shave That Hair!!!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic ****- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky ****/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering ****/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own **** blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
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Old 09-13-2012, 07:14 PM   #33
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^ funny but complete BS.

trust me, be a man and shave your asshole hair
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Old 09-13-2012, 07:47 PM   #34
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My g-d...scott do you take paypal? That funniest post I have ever read. I can feel your pain. Great explanation in perfect detail.

I too have experienced the error of my ass hair judgement. You are a brave man. I shaved my ass cheeks. Wow....not pleasant. Ended up with rash, and itch that would never stop. My ass was perfect for about a whole two days. The pain began. Two words to your salvation. TALCUM POWDER. Buy a few bottles. I will never touch my hairy ass again.
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Old 09-13-2012, 09:03 PM   #35
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My g-d...scott do you take paypal? That funniest post I have ever read. I can feel your pain. Great explanation in perfect detail.

I too have experienced the error of my ass hair judgement. You are a brave man. I shaved my ass cheeks. Wow....not pleasant. Ended up with rash, and itch that would never stop. My ass was perfect for about a whole two days. The pain began. Two words to your salvation. TALCUM POWDER. Buy a few bottles. I will never touch my hairy ass again.
It's a copy/paste deal thing from BB/Misc I believe. I've seen it a few times. Still funny regardless.
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Old 09-13-2012, 09:40 PM   #36
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It's a copy/paste deal thing from BB/Misc I believe. I've seen it a few times. Still funny regardless.
Truth.

If I do plan on shaving my ass hair, I'll attach that little "eyebrow guard" to my trimmer so I can leave a little something there. I heard the hair acts like a filter of sorts and prevents your farts from stinking like all Jesus Christ Santorums.
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Old 09-13-2012, 09:57 PM   #37
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if you have a gay friend ask him where he goes for a brazillian.
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:31 PM   #38
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DME46 posted a thread a while back about some ass powder that reputedly does the trick quite well.
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Either pursue her and risk getting Mono, or don't pursue her,...stay home and use your Mano.

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Old 09-14-2012, 12:42 AM   #39
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buying this magic ass hair removing powder tomorrow
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Old 09-14-2012, 12:47 AM   #40
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just use plasti dip. maybe like 7 coats should do. then an oil change
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