On to the next one......

Originally Posted by CRSmoak

I see what you did there

Look, there is nothing low value in a man expressing himself (before she does or otherwise), as long as he is does so in a non-attention, non-reaction, non-validation seeking way. Done with congruency (i.e., body language, vocal tonality, social status, etc.) it can be a huge turn on for women, not to mention a huge source of comfort (an important factor many guys often overlook). Showing affection shows affection (obviously) but it can also be a selfishness act (of a sort) / a show of value. Selfish in that you told her "I love you" (to give an example) not only to make her feel special but also because you felt like it, you simply felt like expressing yourself and it made you feel good to do so. Do you really think a high value male is bound by social norms; think about it, would a high value male be scared to express himself? Bottom line is that you should never be afraid to do what you want to do, say what you want to say, just be confident in doing so. Leading is always a good thing when done congruently, and anyone who says otherwise doesn't know **** about women. Now there are different ways to lead, one could certainly do as you suggest and have results just as well. The point I'm trying to make is simply that there are no bound rules of the game, they can all be broken and given the proper amount of confidence and congruency, you can still get the girl.

I'll agree with this. I just assumed he didn't have the knowledge you laid down and assumed the worst, not saying it's true, but with relationships you have to assume they're noobs. I should've been more clear, there's nothing wrong with showing interest in ways that they don't necessarily associate as the typical way of showing it (i.e touching her on the back, after sex rubbing your hands through her hair), but it's more simple to just give a sense of mystery while showing interest to build their interest. Most people around me, and even me in the past, as soon as you meet someone with similar interest, they forget to hold back and just go all out, and it will scare them if the interest hasn't mutually blossomed. Women want to 'land' something, not accept it. If there is no chase, there isn't a catch.

Use ambiguous terms that will make her wonder what you mean, but it will generally sound like what she hopes it means, but she has a little doubt, too. Words can be the close, or the things that scare them. Body language, physical touch, mystery, are all the things I consider the way to show interest.

she told you she'd go back to your place on first date if it went well?


i'd pass , but that's me

more pics

Originally Posted by wasp9166

she told you she'd go back to your place on first date if it went well?


i'd pass , but that's me

Word.

I know what you all mean. When she hinted about coming back to my place on the first date it actually was somewhat of a downer for me. In my 20s, sure, why the heck not, just hit it and move on. But like I've confessed before, I'm in my mid 30s, with a son, I'm done adding notches to the bedpost and wanting something lasting.

Thanfully despite that sudden hookup start, things really are good. She and I seem to have a kick-ass relationship so far. Yeah I know it is still in that infancy stage, I get it. But overall this one seems to be passing all my tests.

Originally Posted by Mark M

Well a bit of an update.....

...The one area we have differing views on, the horrible R word, Religion....

This and ethics/values (i.e. her getting in the sack with you on the first date) will probably be your biggest challenge.