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Love Line

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Old 10-03-2012, 04:39 PM   #41
omg A e46
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Just make a love Explosion on her chest then she will like you !
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Old 10-03-2012, 04:48 PM   #42
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I understand, but I have this feeling like I just want to unload everything I had planned for her, just so she knows. I am not sure if this makes any sense. This letter being one of them.
I know, but that would be overwhelming and suffocating her. It will not end well, I assure you.
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Old 10-03-2012, 04:52 PM   #43
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I know, but that would be overwhelming and suffocating her. It will not end well, I assure you.
I understand. I've got to say, you've really helped me out man. It just that I haven't felt these feelings for someone in a long time. I honestly thought I'd never be able to love someone again.

Then this girl shows up and I treated her like a queen and she treated me like a king up until this point.

I read the how to get over a break up thread too. So I am prepping for the other side in case things don't work out.
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:01 PM   #44
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^ No problem. Like I said, keep it together and stick to the game plan and it'll all be fine no matter which way this goes.

Good luck!

Oh and if this does go downhill, make sure you are ready to keep yourself busy with anything and everything. Work, gym, car, whatever, do it all to keep your mind off of it and better yourself.

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Old 10-03-2012, 05:12 PM   #45
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^ No problem. Like I said, keep it together and stick to the game plan and it'll all be fine no matter which way this goes.

Good luck!

Oh and if this does go downhill, make sure you are ready to keep yourself busy with anything and everything. Work, gym, car, whatever, do it all to keep your mind off of it and better yourself.
One thing is that I am not sure if I can do it without crying. I really am hurting and when I see her, I know it's not going to be easy.
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:28 PM   #46
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like everyone else mentioned, stay strong no matter what's the outcome. Your emotions are clouding your better judgment which for you might seem normal and the right thing to do, but on her end you might appear weak/cowardly.

Think about it, if she says it's over and you beg her to be with you and she does stay...she would be staying out of pity and that's not what you want.

What baffles me is why would she say she loves you but at the same time knows she doesn't want a future with you? Out of respect for you she should of never used the L word knowing she isn't sure what she wants.

No idea if she has someone else on the side or keeping her options open, but make sure you come out ahead no matter what. Don't let any girl make you their plan B when you make her your priority. You my friend deserve better.
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:34 PM   #47
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like everyone else mentioned, stay strong no matter what's the outcome. Your emotions are clouding your better judgment which for you might seem normal and the right thing to do, but on her end you might appear weak/cowardly.

Think about it, if she says it's over and you beg her to be with you and she does stay...she would be staying out of pity and that's not what you want.

What baffles me is why would she say she loves you but at the same time knows she doesn't want a future with you? Out of respect for you she should of never used the L word knowing she isn't sure what she wants.

No idea if she has someone else on the side or keeping her options open, but make sure you come out ahead no matter what. Don't let any girl make you their plan B when you make her your priority. You my friend deserve better.
Thats a good point you bring up, I will definitely have to mention that. A lot of these are things that I thought of, but due to shock, or whatever, fail to remember. I am thinking about writing it down in a notebook or something and referencing cause I have a feeling that I may go astray in terms of points. Do you think that would be a good idea?
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:35 PM   #48
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don't cry. Especially in front of her.
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:52 PM   #49
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OP, I think you should take an hour or two off and watch this movie;




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Old 10-03-2012, 05:52 PM   #50
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Jesus Christ, man. Grow a pair and man up. Shake the sand out of your vagina and move on!

If she wants to make it work, she will let you know. Don't beg or grovel- wtf is wrong with you? You're 32?? You have the emotional age of a teenager.
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:58 PM   #51
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don't cry. Especially in front of her.
It's hard dude, there are only a few things that really get to me emotionally, this is one of them.

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OP, I think you should take an hour or two off and watch this movie;




Any particular scene to lookout for?

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Jesus Christ, man. Grow a pair and man up. Shake the sand out of your vagina and move on!

If she wants to make it work, she will let you know. Don't beg or grovel- wtf is wrong with you? You're 32?? You have the emotional age of a teenager.
I know, I know. In life I've dealt with plenty of difficult things. When it comes to love, I am an absolute mess. Just being honest here.
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Old 10-03-2012, 06:00 PM   #52
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lol hilarious.
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I've never heard of a woman wanting more than she actually deserved. Never.
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Old 10-03-2012, 06:29 PM   #53
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write whatever your feeling down as if you were pouring your heart out to her but don't EVER give it to her. In a month or two after your heart ache starts getting better and your head is clear, read what you wrote down. I bet you that you'll be saying "I can't believe I almost gave her this" because you'll be embarrassed of how you let some girl get the better of you.
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Old 10-03-2012, 06:55 PM   #54
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Any particular scene to lookout for?


.
um... pretty much the whole thing.... but If I had to pick one...

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Old 10-03-2012, 07:47 PM   #55
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First of all, I think you would do well to stay composed.. Remember that even if you love her above anything else, if she doesn't want to take this forward, it's not gonna happen.. So be practical about this. You have and will find the strength and means to get through this.

When you meet her, stay cool and calm, no emotional stuff. Be a man and act confident and composed, that's one of the best things that can draw a woman to you. What I would do is talk about normal stuff initially, act normal and warm up the discussion. Then I would bring up the important subject, but in a casual manner. I would touch upon the subject of why she thinks it won't work and have a rational discussion about it. Along the way I'd assess and judge for myself if she's being honest with her feelings, and if she's being genuine with her reasons. Keep in mind that when a woman in her shoes does and says what she's saying and doing, there's a motivation behind it.. Whatever it is, it's your job as the man to figure it out (is it really over or do you still have a chance, does her vision of a certain lifestyle conflict with yours, family or parental considerations, maybe just short-sightedness, maybe she's realizing she just not that into you, maybe she's thinking things are moving too fast, so she's freaking out).. Remember to keep the whole discussion on the topic brief, no more than a few minutes and keep it light, no heavy emotional stuff. Make a real time decision based on your gut feeling of her motivation. If you think she's freaking out for some reason, maybe you want to play the 'ok, let's slow down a bit and give it more time' card. Or if she's not confident that you'll do what it takes to make it work, try to give her a sense of that confidence. But whatever it is, show her your sensitive side but not your emotional vulnerabilities.. And most important, don't leave it hanging on a vague note. Be clear about your own thoughts and put some clear, smart next steps on the table. Then end the discussion in a nice way and walk out. Don't get into emotional stuff or drag it on.. Not sure how you're gonna make this happen in the best way but do it!!! After all is said and done, if she's keen on walking away, it may not feel good for a while but that would have been the best thing to happen.. So you're in a pretty good position after all..
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Old 10-04-2012, 01:23 AM   #56
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I believe she envisions her children to be brought up in a different way. I would like them to be knowledgeable in both areas. Plus she eats pork & drinks. Drinking doesn't bother me, but the pork does. It's not like it's impossible for me to get over that. But I don't prefer it.
Why would you want to marry someone who has different values than you do?
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:00 AM   #57
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Why would you want to marry someone who has different values than you do?
^ This. Why are you settling?

I agree with what sammk has to say with the exception of asking why. Right now it doesn't matter why, all that matters is if she's willing or not. Deal with the why later.

Also, definitely agree with what spyder said. You will feel like a total dumbass after you read that later. I know I did when this happened to me.
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:28 AM   #58
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First of all, I think you would do well to stay composed.. Remember that even if you love her above anything else, if she doesn't want to take this forward, it's not gonna happen.. So be practical about this. You have and will find the strength and means to get through this.

When you meet her, stay cool and calm, no emotional stuff. Be a man and act confident and composed, that's one of the best things that can draw a woman to you. What I would do is talk about normal stuff initially, act normal and warm up the discussion. Then I would bring up the important subject, but in a casual manner. I would touch upon the subject of why she thinks it won't work and have a rational discussion about it. Along the way I'd assess and judge for myself if she's being honest with her feelings, and if she's being genuine with her reasons. Keep in mind that when a woman in her shoes does and says what she's saying and doing, there's a motivation behind it.. Whatever it is, it's your job as the man to figure it out (is it really over or do you still have a chance, does her vision of a certain lifestyle conflict with yours, family or parental considerations, maybe just short-sightedness, maybe she's realizing she just not that into you, maybe she's thinking things are moving too fast, so she's freaking out).. Remember to keep the whole discussion on the topic brief, no more than a few minutes and keep it light, no heavy emotional stuff. Make a real time decision based on your gut feeling of her motivation. If you think she's freaking out for some reason, maybe you want to play the 'ok, let's slow down a bit and give it more time' card. Or if she's not confident that you'll do what it takes to make it work, try to give her a sense of that confidence. But whatever it is, show her your sensitive side but not your emotional vulnerabilities.. And most important, don't leave it hanging on a vague note. Be clear about your own thoughts and put some clear, smart next steps on the table. Then end the discussion in a nice way and walk out. Don't get into emotional stuff or drag it on.. Not sure how you're gonna make this happen in the best way but do it!!! After all is said and done, if she's keen on walking away, it may not feel good for a while but that would have been the best thing to happen.. So you're in a pretty good position after all..
Thank you very much, that was very helpful.

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Why would you want to marry someone who has different values than you do?
Not really different values, we share almost everything, its just dietary stuff mainly.

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^ This. Why are you settling?

I agree with what sammk has to say with the exception of asking why. Right now it doesn't matter why, all that matters is if she's willing or not. Deal with the why later.

Also, definitely agree with what spyder said. You will feel like a total dumbass after you read that later. I know I did when this happened to me.
I feel there is compatibility on all levels that I have been searching for. No, I did not try to fit her in there, she just naturally checked all of my requirements.

Being with her is effortless and natural, no fights or anything. I love the way she looks, we have an awesome time together, the other stuff is minor to me. Nobody is perfect, but she is perfect for me.

One thing she said was that she was emotionally tapped out & numb after her uncle's death which has continued since then. I have a feeling that this has something to do with it and would help.

I spent some time analyzing ongoing themes of our conversations lately, they are as follows:

- Mixing lives, families, religion & kids, she feels like she isn't confident enough to take this on.

- Her behavior has been eratic, from texting to making sure I am ok to "we need to stop this, I am hurting you" She has constantly been saying how much fun we have & how much she regrets this.

- She is afraid of me resenting her later in life.

She used to be on Xanax, coincidentally this behavior start as soon as she got off of it.
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:36 AM   #59
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I vowed long ago to never lose my dignity over a woman.

I get that you have emotions towards her dude.....but the way we carry ourselves as men is what creates the attraction women have towards us. You are going down the wrong path bud. You WILL and possible already have portrayed yourself as weak or insecure. Girls don't want a charity case (although some do until they grow tired of it).

If it were me, I would walk away right now, no closure or goofy heart to heart. Send her a note saying you understand the message she is trying to convey and just walk. No contact. You'll keep your man card in tact and create a huge element of mystery in her mind that might work to your favor. Trust me, being an emotional dish rag in front of her will NOT gain you long term points.
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:43 AM   #60
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I vowed long ago to never lose my dignity over a woman.

I get that you have emotions towards her dude.....but the way we carry ourselves as men is what creates the attraction women have towards us. You are going down the wrong path bud. You WILL and possible already have portrayed yourself as weak or insecure. Girls don't want a charity case (although some do until they grow tired of it).

If it were me, I would walk away right now, no closure or goofy heart to heart. Send her a note saying you understand the message she is trying to convey and just walk. No contact. You'll keep your man card in tact and create a huge element of mystery in her mind that might work to your favor. Trust me, being an emotional dish rag in front of her will NOT gain you long term points.
We're meeting today, so I already had that scheduled in. I can't back out of it now. But I understand, I am going to go into this as strong as possible. I hate that I have these emotions, I really do. During the good times, I kept telling myself don't slip up, and open up this much. But it was hard since we were having such a good time & sharing so much. I tried really hard this time to keep it in. This always happens when I care for someone. I've broken up with girls I don't really care for rather easily, but the ones I care for are the ones that sting.
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