Please Move

Originally Posted by mdyaman

I think the difference is that the OP has been in a relationship with this girl for 3 months or less, and hasn't established that rapport yet to check her phone. Now if this was a long term serious relationship, then yes, I think it wouldn't be an issue.

eh, i never read enough, my reading comp sucks, my adhd makes me skim lol

then op is too insecure for girls ,lol

It wouldn't be the way I ended it, but be happy it's over. Keep your head up.

Originally Posted by Swish

Yes, I would leave! I had this same situation in a marriage (dated/married to her for several years) and had to walk away without asking a question or invading her privacy. At the end of the day, I realized all the questions were answered about her shadyness... No need to invade her privacy. Walk away man, and don't turn back!

Ps: make your own profile on that Cupid site and start getting it in!

I don't think this is correct. Communication is key in any relationship, and assuming things doesn't help. If they don't want to communicate, or try to help you understand the situation, I think it's time to evaluate the relationship. But that would be a last resort. After all, you shouldn't be in a relationship if you don't want to work for it/think it's worth the effort.

Originally Posted by Iceman00

I don't think this is correct. Communication is key in any relationship, and assuming things doesn't help. If they don't want to communicate, or try to help you understand the situation, I think it's time to evaluate the relationship. But that would be a last resort. After all, you shouldn't be in a relationship if you don't want to work for it/think it's worth the effort.

You really shouldn't say what's a correct way to handle things to anyone else, my situation was mine, and it was handled the right way for me! You may have handled it differently, and that doesn't necessarily make it "wrong" in my book, just made it "right" for "you"!

Whatever happened, you were wrong for going through her phone. You've been dating 3 months, if you don't want to deal with it leave. If your going to be super insecure and dramatic leave. If you think you have the right to act like that because of what she does.....confront it, ask for change or explanation....if you don't like the response ,leave.

You have choices....do what's best for you without being an emotional mess.

that it for face value

Originally Posted by CP3

1 day later, she changes her profile pic from a sentimental one of you two to something else, and a day later she texts you to break up and "apologize." You politely decline. .

Dam I feel old, i can't believe this is an issue. Not a knock on you OP, because im sure your not the only one that does this but i just cant imagine a guy looking at their GFs facebook profile pic and get all insecure about it. Just sitting there thinking, omg what does it mean, why did sure do that? is she hiding me from someone?

Facebook is ruining people

Originally Posted by Swish

You really shouldn't say what's a correct way to handle things to anyone else, my situation was mine, and it was handled the right way for me! You may have handled it differently, and that doesn't necessarily make it "wrong" in my book, just made it "right" for "you"!

Not true, I think we can agree that there are right and wrong ways to handle situations. Ice had a good point, you need good communication in a relationship and should be able to handle certain issues. Your situation was right for you, but im sure it was from a build up of things over time,not a one time random text message.

Originally Posted by wasp9166

you equate picking up a phone with an invasion of privacy?

lol, you obviously can't sense when a woman is fin around , guys like you are outside the front door on the concrete

OP picked up her phone, read her msgs and then texted back and forth with someone else using her phone.

Yes, that's an invasion of privacy. A girl has to build a very solid relationship with me before I'd be ok with her going through my phone. Three months with 2 breakups ain't gonna cut it.

And I really can't imagine a time when I'd be OK with her replying to messages without explicit approval from me.

Sounds like OP was in a crappy relationship and now he's not. All's well.

I would not have left for the text message but for this however, "and also denied your sexual advances." Id be gone haha.

Originally Posted by wasp9166

you equate picking up a phone with an invasion of privacy?

lol, you obviously can't sense when a woman is fin around , guys like you are outside the front door on the concrete


op, fack that bish, if she didn't have the decency to talk to you about this first she isn't worth keeping

move on fast

thank you. That's what I am saying. it's not like i read through her emails or other text messages. I answered a shady text after she lied about not knowing who it was.

And I did "man up" and ask first. She lied. I need some confirmation before ending the relationship. It wasn't worth it to me to risk dumping a girl without proof.

If she had just explained that was someone she met before she dated me, that would have been the end of it. But she acted suspicious.

I really don't think a lot of people are really answering honestly. I am almost 99% certain most of you would do the same.

something like this happens and you are asking for advice as to what to do? how is it not immediately apparent that she doesn't want you anymore?

Man up nerd.

Originally Posted by CP3

I really don't think a lot of people are really answering honestly. I am almost 99% certain most of you would do the same.

I'm willing to bet most people responding are older and are beyond the dramatics that go into young adult relationships. Therefor, they probably are answering not only candidly, but truthfully.

Originally Posted by CP3

thank you. That's what I am saying. it's not like i read through her emails or other text messages. I answered a shady text after she lied about not knowing who it was.

And I did "man up" and ask first. She lied. I need some confirmation before ending the relationship. It wasn't worth it to me to risk dumping a girl without proof.

If she had just explained that was someone she met before she dated me, that would have been the end of it. But she acted suspicious.

I really don't think a lot of people are really answering honestly. I am almost 99% certain most of you would do the same.

You were suspicious, went fusing for information to back up your suspicions, and found exactly what you were looking for.

Throw out everything else in your OP and summarize as this: I didn't trust this girl, she didn't trust me, we're not together anymore.

That's a happy ending in most books.

First you accuse girl you thought was "the one" of being dishonest, now you're accusing most of us of the same. Trust issues much?

Originally Posted by Evidence

Not true, I think we can agree that there are right and wrong ways to handle situations. Ice had a good point, you need good communication in a relationship and should be able to handle certain issues. Your situation was right for you, but im sure it was from a build up of things over time,not a one time random text message.

I've been in a long distance relationship/marriage for almost 4 years, I whole heartedly agree communication is important. What I don't agree with is someone telling me I handled a situation I lived in for years wrong. There was never a need for me to invade my Ex's privacy... BOTTOM LINE! That's what this thread is about, no?

Shut up OP
And why hasn't this been moved to the subforum yet?

[bimmerapp]

Originally Posted by CP3

I really don't think a lot of people are really answering honestly. I am almost 99% certain most of you would do the same.

love the denial.

Dropping a duece and I need to wipe so ill make this quick. I think you invaded her privacy slightly but you also got to the bottom of something that would have been a much more hurtful break up. I do not think you were wrong though given who it actually was.