Thought of the Day

^ sums me up perfectly!

I decided I needed to cut my fingernails several times today, but never actually got around to doing it.

Every time I see an extremely obese person I say Murcia, take a deep breath, sigh, or I can't move on

Originally Posted by serdar255

Every time I see an extremely obese person I say Murcia, take a deep breath, sigh, or I can't move on

... what is murcia?

[bimmer app/galaxy s3]

Originally Posted by XKxRome0ox

... what is murcia?

[bimmer app/galaxy s3]

'Merica

The greatest nation ever with guns, diabeetus, fast cars, & faster women!

I had a great poop this morning. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my iphone with me. I was stuck reading the back of my wife's shampoo bottle.

I've been having nasty poops lately that require a shower afterwards, I guess I need more fiber.

Last night I had a surprise poop. I went from washing the dishes with no desire to poop to....OH GOD I NEED A TOILET NOW! As soon as cheeks touched porcelain bomb bay doors opened and a terrible carpet bombing was released

Originally Posted by SHOoff11

The greatest nation ever with guns, diabeetus, fast cars, & faster women!

I got diabeetus lol, seriously though.
People who bitch about it are pvssies.

Chocolate Soft Serve

Dot dot dot dash.

I got woken up during my nap because my body was screaming for a poo

When I got to the bathroom I swear it was just sludge

May need an oil change ^^

Holy ass explosion
I dunno what I was thinking when I ate two mcribs for lunch...
But my body is reacting as expected


[bimmerapp]

Originally Posted by XKxRome0ox

Holy ass explosion
I dunno what I was thinking when I ate two mcribs for lunch...
But my body is reacting as expected


[bimmerapp]

Nice

So yesterday I went to a casino buffet and just grabbed stack loads of meat, shrimp, chicken and pork etc... cause I'm on dat dirty winter bulk.

Fast forward to today and I'm drinking a lot of proton shakes and mass builders.

I usually get a chit load of gas and mud poop so I've been holding in all day cause I know that its gonna smell bad and I'd be on the pooper for a long time if I took a chit during class cause I like to wipe till I bleed (no dirty angus for me brah).

I was in my last class but my GI was backed up, my stomach bloated, I think there was so much gas that it was backing up and I was burping it out and it was giving me chit breath or smth so I had to go to washroom.

I didn't want to take too long on the chitter cause I don't want people in class to think I'm chitting (I'm a weird FA) so I walk to bathroom and then hold my angus cheeks open for optimum chitting power



For some reason, this WASN'T FUKING WORKING TODAY.

I was stressed and starting to sweat and chit cause I couldn't poop. Usually this works well for me. So I try harder and squeeze my colon with the strength of 10000 fapping death grips.



Even this doesn't work!!!!!!!!!!!!



So I start swearing saying chit like "FUK YOU POOP, GTFO MY ANUS!!!"

Then I grabbed the toilet seat like I was deadlifitng, prepping for one last epic colon squeeze



THEN I FUKING FORGOT I WAS ON A TOILET AND SQUEEZED AND PULLED THE TOILET SEAT UP AND OFF


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!


I quickly wiped my anus and GTFO back to class.

Lol wut

Isn't life just one big party?

While walking this morning I thought...what if the human race became extraordinarily advanced in the past (flying cars and shiet), the human race got wiped out, and started over as cavemen? Repeat this an infinite amount of times.