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Health & Fitness
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:36 PM   #1
JohnBlaze
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Don't be that guy in the Gym

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Old 03-29-2013, 02:07 PM   #2
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lol, there is this fat mexican dude at my local 24hr. He curls 25lbs and screams like he is being butt raped. He constantly flexing his biceps in the mirror. So freaking annoying.
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:17 PM   #3
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Old 03-30-2013, 01:25 AM   #4
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The goal is to get huge and get bitches. You definitely want to be lifting as big as posssible without gaining any fat. Most people will set a goal in the 20-30lbs of muscle gained and aim for about 6% body fat.

Here's the program:
Workout drink: Muscle milk in a shaker bottle.
Warm up: Cardio machine for 20 mins. Middle row machine or behind the best yoga pants. Don't sweat too much in case you see some ladies to talk to.

Lifts / Reps / Weight:
Smith Machine Squats / 2x20 / just the bar (don't want the legs to get too big so you can get that V taper!)

Squat Rack Curls / 4 sets to failure / heaviest weight you can get. (Gotta build those guns)

Barbell Bench Press / 3 sets at 1RM / get your max on the bar so people dont make fun of you. its a psychological thing.

"Skinny Indian Guy" Psychokinetic Chest Press / 4 mins / No weight. You do this exercise by putting your body weight in plates on the hammer tech machine (about 120 lbs) and then staring at it while slouching. Don't worry, you will figure out how it works eventually. In the meantime you can psych yourself up.

Dumbell Rack Dumbell Curls / 2 sets to fail / Find a weight you can do 12 reps with then add 15 lbs to that. Make sure to get as close to the rack as possible. Gotta be alpha and claim your spot in the gym, while u build those guns bro!

Conversation Curls / 1 min or 3 sentences / Find the biggest dude in the gym and try to talk to him while he's deadlifting. For the advanced version ask him how long until he's done when he's in the middle of his set.

Cable Machine / 3 sets 12 reps / find any cable machine and pull on it for a little while. Make sure to get some protein in.

Arched Back Deadlift / 2 sets 5 reps or to injury / Add an extra plate onto the bar so you can get big quicker. Don't worry about form, just make sure it gets off the ground

Standing Dumbbell Bicep Curls / 2 sets 10 reps / use one size smaller than u did for Rack Dumbbell Curls since this is for hypertrophy. Arms are the first thing a woman sees.

Crunches / Do about 50 on the exercise ball next to the cardio machines so you can be seen.

Diet:
U will see a lot of diet advice on the internet but just ignore it because 1. u don't wanna get too fat and 2. you gotta be able to account for the Natty Light at the house parties. What u wanna do is get almost entirely protein. So buy two tubs of muscle milk when the loan check arrives and then supplement with casein. Don't use creatine cause it will make you bloated! Your fat will come from pizza and just assume that your carbs will come from any alcohol calories.

Gym etiquette:
Never take your sunglasses off. You have to keep from being distracted and the women won't know you're staring

If someone takes more than 30 seconds after a set they're probably done with that equipment so you can go ahead and move their stuff.

Unused incline benches are the perfect place to sit and talk to your friends.

ENJOY THE MIRIN BITCHES AND GETTING HUGE!!

Resources: Pretty much anything on Bodybuilding.com supplements section is going to be a good choice. Just make sure to always keep that body fat below 6%. ALWAYS CUT BEFORE YOU BULK! This is pragmatic because the best parties are in the fall so you don't have time to turn into a fat **** if you are going to get laid.
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Old 03-30-2013, 07:38 AM   #5
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Old 03-30-2013, 09:55 AM   #6
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lol, there is this fat mexican dude at my local 24hr. He curls 25lbs and screams like he is being butt raped. He constantly flexing his biceps in the mirror. So freaking annoying.
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Old 04-02-2013, 12:07 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by sweetbro858 View Post
The goal is to get huge and get bitches. You definitely want to be lifting as big as posssible without gaining any fat. Most people will set a goal in the 20-30lbs of muscle gained and aim for about 6% body fat.

Here's the program:
Workout drink: Muscle milk in a shaker bottle.
Warm up: Cardio machine for 20 mins. Middle row machine or behind the best yoga pants. Don't sweat too much in case you see some ladies to talk to.

Lifts / Reps / Weight:
Smith Machine Squats / 2x20 / just the bar (don't want the legs to get too big so you can get that V taper!)

Squat Rack Curls / 4 sets to failure / heaviest weight you can get. (Gotta build those guns)

Barbell Bench Press / 3 sets at 1RM / get your max on the bar so people dont make fun of you. its a psychological thing.

"Skinny Indian Guy" Psychokinetic Chest Press / 4 mins / No weight. You do this exercise by putting your body weight in plates on the hammer tech machine (about 120 lbs) and then staring at it while slouching. Don't worry, you will figure out how it works eventually. In the meantime you can psych yourself up.

Dumbell Rack Dumbell Curls / 2 sets to fail / Find a weight you can do 12 reps with then add 15 lbs to that. Make sure to get as close to the rack as possible. Gotta be alpha and claim your spot in the gym, while u build those guns bro!

Conversation Curls / 1 min or 3 sentences / Find the biggest dude in the gym and try to talk to him while he's deadlifting. For the advanced version ask him how long until he's done when he's in the middle of his set.

Cable Machine / 3 sets 12 reps / find any cable machine and pull on it for a little while. Make sure to get some protein in.

Arched Back Deadlift / 2 sets 5 reps or to injury / Add an extra plate onto the bar so you can get big quicker. Don't worry about form, just make sure it gets off the ground

Standing Dumbbell Bicep Curls / 2 sets 10 reps / use one size smaller than u did for Rack Dumbbell Curls since this is for hypertrophy. Arms are the first thing a woman sees.

Crunches / Do about 50 on the exercise ball next to the cardio machines so you can be seen.

Diet:
U will see a lot of diet advice on the internet but just ignore it because 1. u don't wanna get too fat and 2. you gotta be able to account for the Natty Light at the house parties. What u wanna do is get almost entirely protein. So buy two tubs of muscle milk when the loan check arrives and then supplement with casein. Don't use creatine cause it will make you bloated! Your fat will come from pizza and just assume that your carbs will come from any alcohol calories.

Gym etiquette:
Never take your sunglasses off. You have to keep from being distracted and the women won't know you're staring

If someone takes more than 30 seconds after a set they're probably done with that equipment so you can go ahead and move their stuff.

Unused incline benches are the perfect place to sit and talk to your friends.

ENJOY THE MIRIN BITCHES AND GETTING HUGE!!

Resources: Pretty much anything on Bodybuilding.com supplements section is going to be a good choice. Just make sure to always keep that body fat below 6%. ALWAYS CUT BEFORE YOU BULK! This is pragmatic because the best parties are in the fall so you don't have time to turn into a fat **** if you are going to get laid.
I could literally picture people that do all of this at my previous gym as I read each of these.
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Old 04-02-2013, 05:24 PM   #8
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Worse thing I saw in that video was meathead using the squat bar pad.
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Old 04-02-2013, 05:34 PM   #9
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Worse thing I saw in that video was meathead using the squat bar pad.
Do u even lift ?
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Old 04-13-2013, 08:19 AM   #10
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Old 04-13-2013, 09:48 AM   #11
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Old 04-18-2013, 04:55 PM   #12
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Old 04-18-2013, 07:07 PM   #13
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So funny, I never get sick of euro training lol
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Old 04-18-2013, 07:35 PM   #14
sweetbro858
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Does anyone else have that "one older guy" that goes around offering advice to people.

LMAO I feel so bad for the people he approaches. That's a nice gesture to offer advice, but this is America. American's get offended when people try to lend advice

I see him do it allll the time....

Today he came up to me, I tried ignoring him but he gestured for me to take out my earbuds. I was doing weighted dips and he told me that I'm leaning too far forward, I nod my head and hes telling me how to do them to isolate the triceps.

Without me even getting into to it with him I just smirk and walk away.
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Old 04-18-2013, 09:14 PM   #15
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We have that guy in my guy. He's nice enough, and he means well, but whenever we see him coming, we all immediately start knocking out a long set.
He doesn't so much offer advice, but instead talks and talks and talks and talks. In the mean time, he gives advice on staying natural and talks all the time about how no supplements work and people who don't go completely and totally natural are a disgrace to the sport. Way back in the day, he was involved in natural bodybuilding, so I understand this. BUT, it is also pretty typical of the elitist attitude of some of the "all natural" builders I've run into over the years. Not all, but many of them. ...anyways, he will start talking about gyms he's been to, and places he's gone, but it's soooooo boring. He's just not the cool old guy that you want. You know, the crusty old Navy salt that calls everyone a "nancy" and tells you to stop "pussyfooting" around and get your ass back to work.

If I ever own my own gym, I will hire the most crusty, salty, insulting and bigoted crazy old dude I can find to walk around and crack dirty jokes and call people girls.
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Old 04-19-2013, 10:04 AM   #16
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LMAO yeah, I'm in the gym for less than an hour so I try to avoid conversations. Some people chop it up for a good 15 minutes and get in the way of everyone. I'm not trying to make friends and shake every single persons hand everytime I go there.
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