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Old 06-25-2013, 12:11 AM   #21
bostonsc4
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There was an old movie where the mom obsessed over only using hangers that didn't leave wrinkles in the clothes.
We got b1tched at by her mom for scrambling eggs one night because the pan had egg on it in the sink.

She wouldn't let us in the living room to watch game 2 of the stanley cup because she had "cleaned it all week." We weren't planning on eating or drinking anything, just sitting on the couch.

Ashley got b1tched at the NIGHT she came home from college because her bags and suitcases were in the hallway too long.

List goes on and on and on and on, for absurd things that nobody should ever waste time stressing about. That house is just horrible to be around.
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Old 06-25-2013, 12:46 AM   #22
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I Cannot stand my Girlfriend's Family

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I do see myself getting married to her. I think about it all the time, and its always a positive feeling. Which is great, except I feel like this thing with her parents is a life long stress, at least until a couple hundred miles are placed in between and they see what they've lost in a positive atmosphere in their museum.
Stick with it then, I was in the same boat as you with my gf now my fianc***233;. She would be bitter or down in the dumps when I would pick her up cause she never liked being at home, very dysfunctional family. Her dad was specially unbearably annoying and backwards thinking about everything, we clashed and she hated being home for the same reasons you've said. We got through college which was good cause she went away for school 100 miles away. But after college she moved back home and it was the same **** all over again. Fighting with her dad, moms never home, bother is a stoner etc... Usual drama. About a year later i told her we should move in together. We did, moved 30/45 mins away and we rarely see them. Worked out great, no family drama = happy fianc***233;! and on december last year i asked her to marry me. my fianc***233; and I couldn't be any happier.

Just know what your getting into with her family. For me it turned out ok, my fianc***233; parents later divorced because her dad went on a bender and cheated on the mother with some random bar whore, so he's no longer in the picture and her mom is a sweetheart. Plus her brother gets some good weed so that doesn't bother me.

If you think she's the one, and is worth fighting for and you could put up with her parents **** for awhile until you get your own place, then go for it and the best of luck to the two of you.

Oh and when you pick her up and she in a bad mood, just let it slide and dont take it personally. Try to ask her if she wants to take about it, if not let her be for a couple minutes. If she does want to talk just listen. Then she'll change her mood and everything will be ok and you guys could carry on about your business.

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Old 06-25-2013, 06:28 AM   #23
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1. Thank you for your future service to our country!
2. Maybe post a link to this thread to Mom... I think it spells it all out for her.
3. Beware ragging on the parents in front of the her... They are her blood... The more you do it the more you will become a stranger to her and she will want out. I've seen this happen before. Just sayin"...
4. Try to have her come over to your place until you go active duty. Just stay away from her folks for a while...
5. Get some Prozac and mix it in with Mom's Veggies!
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Old 06-25-2013, 06:41 AM   #24
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I Cannot stand my Girlfriend's Family

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Originally Posted by bostonsc4 View Post
We got b1tched at by her mom for scrambling eggs one night because the pan had egg on it in the sink.

She wouldn't let us in the living room to watch game 2 of the stanley cup because she had "cleaned it all week." We weren't planning on eating or drinking anything, just sitting on the couch.

Ashley got b1tched at the NIGHT she came home from college because her bags and suitcases were in the hallway too long.

List goes on and on and on and on, for absurd things that nobody should ever waste time stressing about. That house is just horrible to be around.
If you can't deal with these things, basic training may not be for you.

Are you going red horse or prime beef? Do you know yet?


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Old 06-25-2013, 06:59 AM   #25
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I Cannot stand my Girlfriend's Family

Also, understand that the military isn't going to just let you move off base because you have a girlfriend. As an enlisted airman, depending on where you are, you could be waiting a long time to qualify for a housing allowance.


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Old 06-25-2013, 07:20 AM   #26
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I Cannot stand my Girlfriend's Family

You're young. Girlfriends come and go.. With any luck you two will get married and live happily after. But, 2 yrs isn't long at all..If it doesn't work out, on to the next one with a different set of problems or problem parents.


FYI: I come from a negative family as well. I'm the black sheep, bcuz I'm very opposite. Negative people thrive on dragging positive people down. Your gfs mom probably enjoys making her cry with negative words.


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Old 06-25-2013, 08:38 AM   #27
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You could always take the mom to the side and ask her what her fkn problem is? I mean worst that happens is she tells you get out... It's simply time for her to leave the nest and the quicker she gets out the happier you'll both be.
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Old 06-25-2013, 09:08 AM   #28
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You are a 22 year old man, be respectful, but get your point across. You care about their daughter, but they cause a lot of discomfort and it is affecting her. Tell them how uncomfortable and unwelcome you feel in their house, see how they respond, and then take it from there. Speak up. You are an adult. Whats the worse that can happen, as it is, you don't seem to be missing out on much anyways.

In addition, you should tell your gf to grow a set and communicate with her parents. Obviously still be supportive, but man... there are so many f*cked up kids in this world today because of their parents and they don't stick up for themselves. Just because they are parents doesn't mean they are right. Does she ever tell her parents how she feels?

When all else fails, take a sh*t on the white rug and make sure you eat a lb of asparagus and don't flush the toilet when you pee. That will get them going.
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Old 06-25-2013, 09:31 AM   #29
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There was an old movie where the mom obsessed over only using hangers that didn't leave wrinkles in the clothes.
Mommie Dearest: 1981

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Old 06-25-2013, 01:24 PM   #30
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Stick with it then, I was in the same boat as you with my gf now my fiancÚ. She would be bitter or down in the dumps when I would pick her up cause she never liked being at home, very dysfunctional family. Her dad was specially unbearably annoying and backwards thinking about everything, we clashed and she hated being home for the same reasons you've said. We got through college which was good cause she went away for school 100 miles away. But after college she moved back home and it was the same **** all over again. Fighting with her dad, moms never home, bother is a stoner etc... Usual drama. About a year later i told her we should move in together. We did, moved 30/45 mins away and we rarely see them. Worked out great, no family drama = happy fiancÚ! and on december last year i asked her to marry me. my fiancÚ and I couldn't be any happier.

Just know what your getting into with her family. For me it turned out ok, my fiancÚ parents later divorced because her dad went on a bender and cheated on the mother with some random bar whore, so he's no longer in the picture and her mom is a sweetheart. Plus her brother gets some good weed so that doesn't bother me.

If you think she's the one, and is worth fighting for and you could put up with her parents **** for awhile until you get your own place, then go for it and the best of luck to the two of you.

Oh and when you pick her up and she in a bad mood, just let it slide and dont take it personally. Try to ask her if she wants to take about it, if not let her be for a couple minutes. If she does want to talk just listen. Then she'll change her mood and everything will be ok and you guys could carry on about your business.
Thank you for this man. It seems as though we are in very similar situations. That sounds horrible too, what you and her had to deal with. Its strikingly similar too because when we go home for breaks and stuff from school its the same old song and dance, she fights with her mom over things that make my, and anyone I tell the story too's head spin. I am optimistic though, I do feel as though the BS of her parents is worth her being with me. I feel this way especially knowing that some day in the future we will move away from the BS and it will be a thing of the past. For now though, its just really hard to watch and deal with, especailly when it impacts our relationship (her being in a shitty mood with me cause of her family etc)

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1. Thank you for your future service to our country!
2. Maybe post a link to this thread to Mom... I think it spells it all out for her.
3. Beware ragging on the parents in front of the her... They are her blood... The more you do it the more you will become a stranger to her and she will want out. I've seen this happen before. Just sayin"...
4. Try to have her come over to your place until you go active duty. Just stay away from her folks for a while...
5. Get some Prozac and mix it in with Mom's Veggies!
I appreciate it sir. I would like to do that I think (share the link with her mom), but I'd have to edit the way I wish I could talk to her mom in this thread haha, and I would only do that if things were absolutely unbearable. Like borderline she can't even live there anymore, otherwise I would think it would cause Ashley and I problems if I intervened. Last night I almost made a leap of progress and left to go home early stating to her mother than this atmosphere is just not what I wanted to be in while watching the Bruins, and I'm sorry. But her mom went downstairs to go clean something that didn't need to be cleaned. She's staying over tonight at my place, which will be good to get her out of that atmosphere for a while.

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If you can't deal with these things, basic training may not be for you.

Are you going red horse or prime beef? Do you know yet?


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Oh trust me I know what I can expect in basic, and I'm prepared to be treated like a 2 year old and spoken to like one. But that is for a purpose. In this scenario, I can't help but feel like the stress is unecessary and shouldn't be there. Her mom just shouldn't give a fvck about 90% of the things she yells about. But I'm not her, and I can't say whether or not things should bother her or not, I can just be my own person.

As far as being a pink pony, or prime beef, I believe if I've researched correctly there are only 4 bases in the country for pink pony's. I'm trying very hard to get Travis AFB and northern Cali because thats where my brother is stationed, which is a prime beef base. I think I would try to go red horse if my brother wasn't a factor in where I hope to get stationed. But as for right now, I don't know which I'll be placed in.

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Also, understand that the military isn't going to just let you move off base because you have a girlfriend. As an enlisted airman, depending on where you are, you could be waiting a long time to qualify for a housing allowance.


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Oh I'm aware of this too unfortunately. I'll be going in as E3, and hopefully E4 in a year if I can get promoted early in BTZ which should bump me up a bit on the priority list for off base housing.

This is speculative, but IF I'm lucky enough to get Travis, then my brother and I have talked about getting a place together off base anyways. He's an E4 right now, also active duty. So that would be the plan if all goes well. In which case if Ashley moved in with us we could split a rent 3 ways which wouldn't be so bad until we both get BAH.
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Old 06-25-2013, 01:42 PM   #31
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You're young. Girlfriends come and go.. With any luck you two will get married and live happily after. But, 2 yrs isn't long at all..If it doesn't work out, on to the next one with a different set of problems or problem parents.


FYI: I come from a negative family as well. I'm the black sheep, bcuz I'm very opposite. Negative people thrive on dragging positive people down. Your gfs mom probably enjoys making her cry with negative words.


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You're right dude. 2 years isn't long, I remember almost 2 years ago when we got together, feels like yesterday. So I am optimistic about that. I am however, nervous that when I go away to basic is that her only support system will be out 1500 miles away and she'll be left to deal with this. You're also right about being the black sheep, she is. She's the only one in her house that has a personality, and isn't trying to be negative. I definitely feel like her mom thrives off of bringing her down. That makes her mom feel less negative. Her mom hides the fact that she smokes ciggs from her whole family, Ashley found a pack in her purse not too long ago and was completely taken back and surprised, her mom is just very deceptive and distant. I wouldn't be surprised if she's unhappy in her marriage and thats why she takes it out on everyone.

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You could always take the mom to the side and ask her what her fkn problem is? I mean worst that happens is she tells you get out... It's simply time for her to leave the nest and the quicker she gets out the happier you'll both be.
Thats the urge. I want to do that SO badly you don't even understand. Its like I said earlier, anybody other than her family treated her this way I'd be having a talk with them. It is extremely extremely conflicting. The quicker she gets out the happier we will both be. She's looking forward to going back to college and she shouldn't feel that way.

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You are a 22 year old man, be respectful, but get your point across. You care about their daughter, but they cause a lot of discomfort and it is affecting her. Tell them how uncomfortable and unwelcome you feel in their house, see how they respond, and then take it from there. Speak up. You are an adult. Whats the worse that can happen, as it is, you don't seem to be missing out on much anyways.

In addition, you should tell your gf to grow a set and communicate with her parents. Obviously still be supportive, but man... there are so many f*cked up kids in this world today because of their parents and they don't stick up for themselves. Just because they are parents doesn't mean they are right. Does she ever tell her parents how she feels?

When all else fails, take a sh*t on the white rug and make sure you eat a lb of asparagus and don't flush the toilet when you pee. That will get them going.
This is how I'm feeling, like I'm very close to politely explaining to her mother and father that I can't sit back and watch them treat her like that. That I do care so much for her and it hurts me to see her the way they leave her after a fight, and that I'd even be willing to help in any way I can. She's actually the ONLY one in the house with a backbone. She sticks up for herself to them, and it seemingly only fuels the fire. Her parents, especially her mother, thrives off of control. When they feel as though they are being combatted, or contested against for control over the situation, they take the cop out route and yell louder, more irrationally, and dismiss anything she's trying to say as BS and leave the room. So we often find that they're unapproachable and will never change. Any time she stands up for herself, or tries to tell them they're wrong, it only gets them more mad. Thats why all the other kids just say yes yes no yea you're right mom okay... etc.
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Old 06-25-2013, 02:30 PM   #32
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Mommie Dearest: 1981

Yes that was it!
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Old 06-25-2013, 03:31 PM   #33
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You're right dude. 2 years isn't long, I remember almost 2 years ago when we got together, feels like yesterday. So I am optimistic about that. I am however, nervous that when I go away to basic is that her only support system will be out 1500 miles away and she'll be left to deal with this. You're also right about being the black sheep, she is. She's the only one in her house that has a personality, and isn't trying to be negative. I definitely feel like her mom thrives off of bringing her down. That makes her mom feel less negative. Her mom hides the fact that she smokes ciggs from her whole family, Ashley found a pack in her purse not too long ago and was completely taken back and surprised, her mom is just very deceptive and distant. I wouldn't be surprised if she's unhappy in her marriage and thats why she takes it out on everyone.



Thats the urge. I want to do that SO badly you don't even understand. Its like I said earlier, anybody other than her family treated her this way I'd be having a talk with them. It is extremely extremely conflicting. The quicker she gets out the happier we will both be. She's looking forward to going back to college and she shouldn't feel that way.



This is how I'm feeling, like I'm very close to politely explaining to her mother and father that I can't sit back and watch them treat her like that. That I do care so much for her and it hurts me to see her the way they leave her after a fight, and that I'd even be willing to help in any way I can. She's actually the ONLY one in the house with a backbone. She sticks up for herself to them, and it seemingly only fuels the fire. Her parents, especially her mother, thrives off of control. When they feel as though they are being combatted, or contested against for control over the situation, they take the cop out route and yell louder, more irrationally, and dismiss anything she's trying to say as BS and leave the room. So we often find that they're unapproachable and will never change. Any time she stands up for herself, or tries to tell them they're wrong, it only gets them more mad. Thats why all the other kids just say yes yes no yea you're right mom okay... etc.
I remember your thread about going after her.
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Old 06-25-2013, 04:49 PM   #34
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Yes that was it!
I remember seeing that movie on HBO in 1982 or so. It scarred me for life, I guess.
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Old 06-25-2013, 04:59 PM   #35
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This is how I'm feeling, like I'm very close to politely explaining to her mother and father that I can't sit back and watch them treat her like that. That I do care so much for her and it hurts me to see her the way they leave her after a fight, and that I'd even be willing to help in any way I can. She's actually the ONLY one in the house with a backbone. She sticks up for herself to them, and it seemingly only fuels the fire. Her parents, especially her mother, thrives off of control. When they feel as though they are being combatted, or contested against for control over the situation, they take the cop out route and yell louder, more irrationally, and dismiss anything she's trying to say as BS and leave the room. So we often find that they're unapproachable and will never change. Any time she stands up for herself, or tries to tell them they're wrong, it only gets them more mad. Thats why all the other kids just say yes yes no yea you're right mom okay... etc.
Well then, thats when you do something like this...

"You know, one day, something is going to happen to you because you are a rotten stuck up twat who doesn't have a nice bone in her body"

Then walk in the house with mudd on your shoes
Pop one of her tires on purpose
Put motor oil and red wine in her cleaning containers
Egg the house one night with your friends and your gf


Just do a bunch of f*cked up sh*t until they get the hint that MAYBE a disfunctional family isn't worth being a complete control freak twat. Man, i'll come up and do it. You are in Boston right? Give me their house number, I'll call them asking if they are interested in parent/family counseling. I'll pretend i'm a telemarketer lol.
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Old 06-25-2013, 05:16 PM   #36
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I Cannot stand my Girlfriend's Family

Whoooaaaa. Why are you going active duty, if you have a bachelors degree?

You know you can be an officer, right?


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Old 06-25-2013, 07:49 PM   #37
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Whoooaaaa. Why are you going active duty, if you have a bachelors degree?

You know you can be an officer, right?


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Student loans start kicking in this coming December, and the waiting list for OTS was ~ 1 year and change when I was interested in that. I took the AFOQT as well (officer candidacy test) and scored okay, only enough to get administrative commission directly, which I didn't join the military to do. Being an officer is certainly something I'm VERY interested in doing, hopefully even after my first enlistment if I can get to E5-E6, but that'd be a reach. I enlisted in the interest of paying off my school loans, and being in the military. Since I plan to make it a career, I can always apply for OCS at a later date since the hard part is already taken care of. (degree)
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:50 PM   #38
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Well then, thats when you do something like this...

"You know, one day, something is going to happen to you because you are a rotten stuck up twat who doesn't have a nice bone in her body"

Then walk in the house with mudd on your shoes
Pop one of her tires on purpose
Put motor oil and red wine in her cleaning containers
Egg the house one night with your friends and your gf


Just do a bunch of f*cked up sh*t until they get the hint that MAYBE a disfunctional family isn't worth being a complete control freak twat. Man, i'll come up and do it. You are in Boston right? Give me their house number, I'll call them asking if they are interested in parent/family counseling. I'll pretend i'm a telemarketer lol.



I would love nothing more than to stick it to her parents like that. Unfortunately what makes this difficult is that I'd be shitting on my own dinner plate because as long as I'm with my girlfriend they'll be around.
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Old 06-25-2013, 09:05 PM   #39
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Student loans start kicking in this coming December, and the waiting list for OTS was ~ 1 year and change when I was interested in that. I took the AFOQT as well (officer candidacy test) and scored okay, only enough to get administrative commission directly, which I didn't join the military to do. Being an officer is certainly something I'm VERY interested in doing, hopefully even after my first enlistment if I can get to E5-E6, but that'd be a reach. I enlisted in the interest of paying off my school loans, and being in the military. Since I plan to make it a career, I can always apply for OCS at a later date since the hard part is already taken care of. (degree)
Good luck. What would you want to do as an Air Force officer? I know their engineers require actual engineering degrees, unlike the army.


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Old 06-25-2013, 09:35 PM   #40
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I would love nothing more than to stick it to her parents like that. Unfortunately what makes this difficult is that I'd be shitting on my own dinner plate because as long as I'm with my girlfriend they'll be around.
You're a wise man. No point in burning bridges.
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