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Old 08-17-2013, 02:54 AM   #1
beeemerdude
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Okay. I've kinda run out of good original EXCUSES for calling in SICK to WORK.

I wanna take Monday off & just surf the net for porn, & jus generally do nothing (& drink beer).

Any novel excuses? (You have the whole weekend to help me out.)

Thanks in advance.
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Old 08-17-2013, 07:00 AM   #2
MorganFreeman
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Easy. Park your car on the side of a road and spill antifreeze on the ground. Snap some pictures with your hood popped to make it seem like your car is out of commission. Hang on to those pictures. Wait till the Monday morning just about 15-20 minutes before you are due to show up at work and call your boss to tell him you are stranded on your way there because your car broke down. If he calls your bluff, text him the pics. Yes, I have tried it.
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Old 08-17-2013, 07:16 AM   #3
awesomechinz
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Okay. I've kinda run out of good original EXCUSES for calling in SICK to WORK.

Kill yourself

Break a leg

Break your pens

Break you eye

Break something else that's vital
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Last edited by awesomechinz; 08-17-2013 at 07:17 AM.
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Old 08-17-2013, 07:22 AM   #4
pancakes
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what profession are you in?
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Old 08-17-2013, 07:24 AM   #5
Big Rick
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Just call in with Anal Glaucoma... Tell them you can't see your ass coming to work!
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Old 08-17-2013, 07:28 AM   #6
awesomechinz
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Okay. I've kinda run out of good original EXCUSES for calling in SICK to WORK.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Rick View Post
Just call in with Anal Glaucoma... Tell them you can't see your ass coming to work!
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Old 08-17-2013, 07:42 AM   #7
limpiabota809
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Just call in with Anal Glaucoma... Tell them you can't see your ass coming to work!
Wins! Lmao...can I have this as my sig?
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Old 08-17-2013, 07:50 AM   #8
Lair
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24 hour tumor

Girlfriend OD'ed

Wife wants to get pregnant, and you want to be there when it happens

Dog ate your car keys

No time for work - you're shopping for a boxster
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Old 08-17-2013, 07:53 AM   #9
pancakes
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tell them you have womanly concerns
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:06 AM   #10
Carskibum
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Send a message via AIM to Carskibum
Aids
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:11 AM   #11
bimmerfan08
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Is this what Canadians regularly do?
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Perks - Certain exemptions of law while in service, include tax subsidies
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Working Days in 2013 - 159
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Want to complain about entitlements.....start with Congress.

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Old 08-17-2013, 08:16 AM   #12
awesomechinz
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Okay. I've kinda run out of good original EXCUSES for calling in SICK to WORK.

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Is this what Canadians regularly do?
Probably
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:43 AM   #13
5speed5er
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Okay. I've kinda run out of good original EXCUSES for calling in SICK to WORK.

My friend did this the other day. Say you were in a car accident but in someone else's car who was driving.


Sent from BimmerApp mobile app
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:58 AM   #14
SuperFan86
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Anal leakage after a rough weekend of indiscriminate unprotected gay sex. Could do a combo and add in the AIDS from an earlier post or make it really fun and bring an AIDS test into the mix.
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I was stayign at this one girls ass for what felt like 5 mins. My gil sadi what the fvck are you looking at. I said just thnking about how beautiful she was goign to look in her wedding dress. Road head for the win.

Last edited by SuperFan86; 08-17-2013 at 08:59 AM.
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Old 08-17-2013, 09:53 AM   #15
SHOoff11
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Your s/o is having a pregnancy scare
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You drive a BMW. That means you make $600,000 a year and date supermodels without pointy elbows or hairy arms. Need I say more?

2006 Honda Civic Si Coupe Nighthawk Black Pearl/Black
1983 BMW 733i 5MT Schwarz/Cardinal

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Old 08-17-2013, 09:54 AM   #16
Big Rick
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Wins! Lmao...can I have this as my sig?
Go for it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lair View Post

No time for work - you're shopping for a boxster
boxsters give you anal glaucoma... well... anal something anyway...
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Last edited by Big Rick; 08-17-2013 at 09:56 AM.
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Old 08-17-2013, 09:58 AM   #17
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food poisoning
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Old 08-17-2013, 10:02 AM   #18
5ynd1cat3
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Re: Okay. I've kinda run out of good original EXCUSES for calling in SICK to WORK.

Get transferred to CA, quit your job, and file for unemployment.

Sent from BimmerApp mobile app
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Old 08-17-2013, 10:03 AM   #19
ti317
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Leave a voicemail Sunday night then follow up on Monday. Toilet back up and you have to be there to meet the plumber first thing Monday morning. If the plumber gets done early, you'll be in to work, wink, wink.
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Old 08-17-2013, 10:16 AM   #20
Brucifer325
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Got beat up by a bathroom attendant when you didn't tip them.
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