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Old 08-26-2013, 06:58 PM   #41
ChrisRedmon
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The meme kind of has a point. If she can't respect your M3 then she must not respect you. Flip your story, imagine if you thought her music career was ridiculous and you demeaned her by saying she should strive to better herself in a more meaningful capacity (nurse, engineer, etc.) how would she feel?

You're in a relationship, she is not your queen and you are not a peon, man up son.
The truth has been spoken.
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:15 PM   #42
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The meme kind of has a point. If she can't respect your M3 then she must not respect you. Flip your story, imagine if you thought her music career was ridiculous and you demeaned her by saying she should strive to better herself in a more meaningful capacity (nurse, engineer, etc.) how would she feel?

You're in a relationship, she is not your queen and you are not a peon, man up son.
There's a big difference between "career" and "hobby"


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Old 08-27-2013, 08:13 AM   #43
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so did you hang out with your friends last night. jkjk
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:19 AM   #44
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Kill yourself.
Solly is right

You ask for advice on the forum and attack one of our members because you disagree?

Grow up

Seriously you need to grow up. Your car obsession will come and go.

She's going to dump you anyways so enjoy your car.
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E46Fanatics - the Honda community of gun owners. Keep staying classy, I'm sure you all are going to be excellent examples of how to keep gun rights from being infringed. :facepalm:
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:39 AM   #45
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Solly is right

You ask for advice on the forum and attack one of our members because you disagree?

Grow up

Seriously you need to grow up. Your car obsession will come and go.

She's going to dump you anyways so enjoy your car.
Thanks man

Edit: You do realize that was directed to the person who just came out instantly telling me im retarded, right?

Read harder.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:41 AM   #46
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so did you hang out with your friends last night. jkjk
Alright Solly. Ill remember that next time you post a thread in here needing to vent, just as i did here.


Thanks to everyone who gave valid advice.
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:08 AM   #47
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Solly is right

You ask for advice on the forum and attack one of our members because you disagree?

Grow up

Seriously you need to grow up. Your car obsession will come and go.

She's going to dump you anyways so enjoy your car.
The sh1tty thing is based on statistics you're probably right.
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:09 AM   #48
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I didn't see that.

There are times when solly should kill himself though ; seriously is he done with that girl yet?! jk


I used to love my car - modded it - loved driving it etc

There is so much greater things in life that are far more enjoyable as you'll eventually see.
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E46Fanatics - the Honda community of gun owners. Keep staying classy, I'm sure you all are going to be excellent examples of how to keep gun rights from being infringed. :facepalm:

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Old 08-27-2013, 09:23 AM   #49
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I didn't see that.

There are times when solly should kill himself though ; seriously is he done with that girl yet?! jk


I used to love my car - modded it - loved driving it etc

There is so much greater things in life that are far more enjoyable as you'll eventually see.
Regardless of how stupid it may seem to you. We are not the same age. Its not just about the car...Its about my time in general. Lifestyle. Friends. Family. The works. Everything that does/should matter to someone like me. Saying she is going to break up with me is pretty sh1tty man. Even when Solly was having his little bish fit with that girl i tried to accommodate those feelings. In fact. I liked him. Up until now that is. Human emotions are weird, everyone reacts/feels differently. And judging by your responses/verbiage in other threads. I would think that with your hippy like attitude you would have a little more human compassion. I was mistaken.

The most unsuspecting people helped me out the most here. The people i thought would chime in and save the day turned out to be dush's

Am i butt hurt? Sure.

But have you ever considered that this car/mechanics in general might be a life long passion for me? Its so much more than just working on the car. Between the stress at work. Not seeing anyone but her. Having 30 minutes to transition from 10 hr work mode to lovey dovey mode day after day. Some of you have been doing it for years. I however, have not.
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:54 AM   #50
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I didn't see that.

There are times when solly should kill himself though ; seriously is he done with that girl yet?! jk


I used to love my car - modded it - loved driving it etc

There is so much greater things in life that are far more enjoyable as you'll eventually see.
I'm not contacting her. If she came to me that may be a different story though.
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Old 08-27-2013, 10:09 AM   #51
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if you analyze the situation and feel that you are giving her the attention she deserves in addition to doing the things you want, then she is too needy for you and she should be dropped like a rock.
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Old 08-27-2013, 10:50 AM   #52
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if you analyze the situation and feel that you are giving her the attention she deserves in addition to doing the things you want, then she is too needy for you and she should be dropped like a rock.
You are right. I have no intentions of breaking it off with her. Shes clingy. That's for sure. But for good reason. All of this is just so much easier said than done. Ugh


Thanks for your advice though man. Much appreciated.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:31 AM   #53
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You don't want a clingy chick man... ish will get crazy.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:44 AM   #54
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if you analyze the situation and feel that you are giving her the attention she deserves in addition to doing the things you want, then she is too needy for you and she should be dropped like a rock.
Unfortunately, when dealing with other people, you can't just give them what you feel they deserve.

In a relationship, if the other person feels that their needs aren't being met, you can't just say "yes they are, and here's why". At that point, you're not being constructive, you're just trying to prove the other person wrong and invalidating their feelings.


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Old 08-27-2013, 11:48 AM   #55
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OP, communicate with her, plain and simple. You need to understand her needs as much as she needs to understand yours. Both of you need to respect those needs.

If you can't or won't meet hers, or she can't or won't meet yours, the relationship needs to end. It may be a matter of the two of you being incompatible in a relationship, it may also just be a matter of the timing being bad for the two of you.

Every relationship involves some sacrifice (because its not just "me" it's "me", "you", and "us" that all need to be accommodated), but both parties need to be satisfied for the relationship to work. Sometimes the two can make things work, sometimes not.

If not, then let it go. Not that it's easy (it rarely is), but understanding that a bad relationship is unfair to both people is important.


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Old 08-27-2013, 11:56 AM   #56
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OP, communicate with her, plain and simple. You need to understand her needs as much as she needs to understand yours. Both of you need to respect those needs.

If you can't or won't meet hers, or she can't or won't meet yours, the relationship needs to end. It may be a matter of the two of you being incompatible in a relationship, it may also just be a matter of the timing being bad for the two of you.

Every relationship involves some sacrifice (because its not just "me" it's "me", "you", and "us" that all need to be accommodated), but both parties need to be satisfied for the relationship to work. Sometimes the two can make things work, sometimes not.

If not, then let it go. Not that it's easy (it rarely is), but understanding that a bad relationship is unfair to both people is important.


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Understood. I truly believe we are perfect for each other. We have been in what....like 1 fight in almost a year. Get along great. I feel like its just such an awkward time in both of our lives. Her being left here alone. Ive been working a full time job since 18. Finally where i want to be in my career. But at the sacrifice of my time/friends. I don't want to complain about her. Shes a blessing. But the circumstances are just wearing me out honestly. Idk, i think i just need to man up and realize i can be alone and have free time. Or be in love with little to no time for everything else. It shouldn't be that way. But the way it all turned out has painted the picture this way. I will try and tough it out until she leaves for school for months at a time. Then im sure i will be bitching on here about to much time away from her.

Edit: Something worth noting is that her parents are separating after 20 years of marriage. I understand why shes constantly reaching out for comfort. Its just really weird how everything has turned out.
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Old 08-27-2013, 12:12 PM   #57
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If a long distance relationship is in your future, I wouldn't get in too deep. It is great to hope for the best, but once reality sets in you realize why so many of those relationships fail. I'm not only saying this because I've been in this situation, but the majority of these situations don't work out.

Also, with regards to fighting....you need to make sure you find someone you can "fight well" with, if that makes sense. Communication styles differ greatly and it becomes a pain point during a disagreement. Learning to resolve issues effectively plays a huge part in a long term relationship.

Example:
My wife and I fought maybe once or twice before we got engaged
During engagement, pressure was high from both sides of the family, lots of stress, etc....fought a fair amount
First year of marriage was tough learning how to disagree and not have bitter feelings in the end
Ended up doing counseling pretty early on to address the situation so that we could communicate well and express problems which came up
The counseling was a VERY good move and over the course of ~6 months exposed a lot of underlying things that contributed to the way that we fought and communicated during arguments


There is a whole lot of stuff that you'll learn about a person as you peel back the layers. Some of it you will understand immediately, other things are not as obvious.

I guess my point in saying all of this is that you should probably still be on guard and not think that she's necessarily "the one"....hard to do when you're in you're early 20's, but I wish someone would have told me these things as I was dating (seriously) during that time.
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Old 08-27-2013, 12:19 PM   #58
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There isn't really much i can say to that besides thank you. Extremely insightful and an intelligent way of looking at things. Sincerely, thanks for taking the time to school a kid like that.


You know, growing up. Seeing the people in their 70's who have been together for 50+ years always had a lasting impression on me. I always hoped i could end up like that. Was never the type to go out and just randomly hook up with someone, its so awesome to see people that stuck with it and fixed it rather than replace it.
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Old 08-27-2013, 12:24 PM   #59
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didn't bother to read if anybody else already suggested this, but you stated that in your words her car is 'disgusting' so if 'I' were you and you adore her as much as you like your car what I think would IMOO would remedy the problem is detailing her car in and out with a few sprays of ozium at the end of the interior part. So she can then understand your side of the story and your passion for the car. Now be careful with getting stuck detailing her car every time so try this at your own risk. hope it helps!
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Old 08-27-2013, 12:26 PM   #60
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didn't bother to read if anybody else already suggested this, but you stated that in your words her car is 'disgusting' so if 'I' were you and you adore her as much as you like your car what I think would IMOO would remedy the problem is detailing her car in and out with a few sprays of ozium at the end of the interior part. So she can then understand your side of the story and your passion for the car. Now be careful with getting stuck detailing her car every time so try this at your own risk. hope it helps!
Lol, back to square one. I actually have cleaned her and her mothers car. They were the same way in a week or so. Its like cleaning a toilet. Not bad if you are the only one sh1tting in it. But when its public.....bleh. Do not want.


Thanks though man. Not a bad idea by any means.
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