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Old 09-11-2013, 11:03 AM   #1
yousharenow
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Met a New one - Can't seem to really engage

So I met this chick at my bar for "Dirty Bingo" one night and the attraction was instant.

1) She's hot
2) She's really successful - even more so than my ex
3) She is super warm and accommodating, she is REALLY into me.

Basically she has all the traits of my ex that I admire but to an even higher degree, AND she has all the pieces that my ex didn't. She's super warm, really into me and accommodating, we have great conversation and sex etc.

BUT...she is 5 years older than me (she is almost 31). IDK if this is a big deal or not but I feel like it puts us in different spots in life.

Maybe just being out of a serious relationship for 2 month isn't enough time and my walls are up, or maybe its just because I have only been seeing this girl for a few weeks, but I have a hard time seeing myself dating this chick long-term.

How can I get over this?

Obligatory Pic(she's with her brother):



First Brunette I've really been interested in over the past decade.

Last edited by yousharenow; 09-11-2013 at 11:09 AM.
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Old 09-11-2013, 11:19 AM   #2
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Here's all you need to answer. Are you ready to get married within 2-3 years because I bet her ass is. If the answer is yes, carry on. If no, be upfront and don't waste her time. You really need to figure out what it is you want. You seem like the type that likes going out and meeting new girls but you say you want a good girl. You seem to have found her. So now you have a decision to make.

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Old 09-11-2013, 11:41 AM   #3
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Here's all you need to answer. Are you ready to get married within 2-3 years because I bet her ass is. If the answer is yes, carry on. If no, be upfront and don't waste her time. You really need to figure out what it is you want. You seem like the type that likes going out and meeting new girls but you say you want a good girl. You seem to have found her. So now you have a decision to make.
Honestly - yeah I am. I do like meeting new women but at the end of the day I am a "quality over quantity" kinda guy. I really came to the realization that going out and partying and getting laid all the time is expensive and exhausting, and when I found my ex something changed in me that craved more of the steady settled down life. I don' want kids for a while though. I won't be done with school for another 4 years or so, and I want to be out of school before I do anything super crazy life-changing.

She got divorced when she was like 28 because she was retarded and got married young so I'm not necessarily sure that she wants to jump directly back onto that train. I told myself that I wouldn't date from a divorced person pool but I have found that the 28-32 age pool of singles, a lot of them are divorced from some marriage they got into when they were like 22.

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Old 09-11-2013, 12:00 PM   #4
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Honestly - yeah I am. I do like meeting new women but at the end of the day I am a "quality over quantity" kinda guy. I really came to the realization that going out and partying and getting laid all the time is expensive and exhausting, and when I found my ex something changed in me that craved more of the steady settled down life. I don' want kids for a while though. I won't be done with school for another 4 years or so, and I want to be out of school before I do anything super crazy life-changing.

She got divorced when she was like 28 because she was retarded and got married young so I'm not necessarily sure that she wants to jump directly back onto that train. I told myself that I wouldn't date from a divorced person pool but I have found that the 28-32 age pool of singles, a lot of them are divorced from some marriage they got into when they were like 22.
Then just see what happens. Keep doing what you're doing and let things flow.
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Old 09-11-2013, 12:02 PM   #5
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Be ready to have a kid quickly too, her internal clock is ticking.
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Old 09-11-2013, 12:29 PM   #6
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Women age faster than men, when you're 40, she is going to look like $hit. I like my women to be at least 5-10 years younger. Many studies show 5 years difference (woman younger) is optimal. Don't ask me for studies, go research them.

A friend of mine is married to a girl that's 5 years older, he regrets it, he only realized it after they had kids. Age and kids take their toll on women. Plenty of fish in the sea, let someone older marry her.
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Old 09-11-2013, 12:35 PM   #7
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Then just see what happens. Keep doing what you're doing and let things flow.
+1

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Be ready to have a kid quickly too, her internal clock is ticking.
Not necessarily. But at some point it doesn't hurt to get an idea of what her priorities will be down the road. I think everyone has the "deal breakers" conversation at some point. Not on the first date, but certainly not after 3-6 months.
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Old 09-11-2013, 12:42 PM   #8
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You've been dating her for a couple of weeks, just ride it out and see where it goes. You seem to realize all the things that come with dating someone who's 30+ already so there's no need for us to tell you what you're in for so just enjoy it and see what plays out. Asking her for her thoughts on marriage and kids after dating for a few weeks will certainly make you single once again but after a few months you should definitely ask.
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Old 09-11-2013, 01:04 PM   #9
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Women age faster than men, when you're 40, she is going to look like $hit. I like my women to be at least 5-10 years younger. Many studies show 5 years difference (woman younger) is optimal. Don't ask me for studies, go research them.

A friend of mine is married to a girl that's 5 years older, he regrets it, he only realized it after they had kids. Age and kids take their toll on women. Plenty of fish in the sea, let someone older marry her.
I've heard something like 4 years and 4 months - but I think its all dependent on the people.

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You've been dating her for a couple of weeks, just ride it out and see where it goes. You seem to realize all the things that come with dating someone who's 30+ already so there's no need for us to tell you what you're in for so just enjoy it and see what plays out. Asking her for her thoughts on marriage and kids after dating for a few weeks will certainly make you single once again but after a few months you should definitely ask.
Pretty much the name of my game so far lol

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Old 09-23-2013, 02:53 AM   #10
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Women age faster than men, when you're 40, she is going to look like $hit. I like my women to be at least 5-10 years younger. Many studies show 5 years difference (woman younger) is optimal. Don't ask me for studies, go research them.

A friend of mine is married to a girl that's 5 years older, he regrets it, he only realized it after they had kids. Age and kids take their toll on women. Plenty of fish in the sea, let someone older marry her.
Jeez you are a superficial d!ck
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Old 09-23-2013, 04:11 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by z00 View Post
Women age faster than men, when you're 40, she is going to look like $hit. I like my women to be at least 5-10 years younger. Many studies show 5 years difference (woman younger) is optimal. Don't ask me for studies, go research them.

A friend of mine is married to a girl that's 5 years older, he regrets it, he only realized it after they had kids. Age and kids take their toll on women. Plenty of fish in the sea, let someone older marry her.
This is complete BS z00. I have dated a significant number of late 30/early 40-somethings who look phenomenal. How a woman takes care of herself is a HUGE determining factor in how she looks (..just like with men).
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Old 09-23-2013, 04:20 PM   #12
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This is complete BS z00. I have dated a significant number of late 30/early 40-somethings who look phenomenal. How a woman takes care of herself is a HUGE determining factor in how she looks (..just like with men).
agreed. Guys my age that didn't take care of themselves look like crap. It really depends on the person. You can kind of tell how a person will age. I'm glad to see z00's posting style is the same here.

Here's something I'm claiming, don't ask me for a source though. I'm not saying it's untrue. Just laughing at it.

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Old 09-23-2013, 06:10 PM   #13
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Yes, I'm sure there are some women who would look great in their 30's and 40's, I have dated few myself. But these are the exceptions not the norm.

Plus, honestly why would any guy marry a woman that's older than him? Plenty of fish in the sea. By late 40's, women hit their menopause and they make their partners go through hell due to hormonal changes. The guy at this point is younger and does not have to deal with this drama. For dating and fun older women are fine, but for long term it's a bad idea. My .002, this a subjective matter, each to their own. Some women marry their dogs.

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This is complete BS z00. I have dated a significant number of late 30/early 40-somethings who look phenomenal. How a woman takes care of herself is a HUGE determining factor in how she looks (..just like with men).

You love my style biatch, raw and wild lol. I get hit on my girls that are 10-13 years younger, when they know my age they run away. Agree with you on taking care of one's self shows part.
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agreed. Guys my age that didn't take care of themselves look like crap. It really depends on the person. You can kind of tell how a person will age. I'm glad to see z00's posting style is the same here.

Here's something I'm claiming, don't ask me for a source though. I'm not saying it's untrue. Just laughing at it.

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Old 09-24-2013, 12:50 AM   #14
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My cousin is 26 and married a girl 5 years older. He seems to be extremely happy in this relationship. I had doubts in the beginning. She was in a previous marriage and had a girl with her ex-husband. She is a dancer so she is extremely fit. She doesn't eat anything except bread and water so I highly doubt if she'll get fat anytime soon. If you are afraid your girl/wife age, then go for an Asian girl. They don't age until 60, most white women go downhill after 30.
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Old 09-24-2013, 08:38 AM   #15
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She doesn't eat anything except bread and water so I highly doubt if she'll get fat anytime soon.
Instead she'll die from vitamin and mineral deficiencies.
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Old 09-24-2013, 12:56 PM   #16
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Instead she'll die from vitamin and mineral deficiencies.
lol, that is exactly what I told her. When they came to visit, I thought she didn't like Asian food, took her for American/Western food and she didn't eat anything either. I love to eat and if my women didn't, I don't think I can be with her. Eating healthy, not burgers and dogs.
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Old 09-25-2013, 08:00 PM   #17
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Yes, I'm sure there are some women who would look great in their 30's and 40's, I have dated few myself. But these are the exceptions not the norm.

Good looking, in shape women are ALREADY the exception, not the norm. Age is really irrelevant. California definitely skews things because we have a pot of gold here, but the rest of the country (...aside from probably NY and FL) doesn't provide the variety that we have here.



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Plus, honestly why would any guy marry a woman that's older than him? Plenty of fish in the sea. By late 40's, women hit their menopause and they make their partners go through hell due to hormonal changes. The guy at this point is younger and does not have to deal with this drama. For dating and fun older women are fine, but for long term it's a bad idea. My .002, this a subjective matter, each to their own. Some women marry their dogs.

You are really clueless dude.



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You love my style biatch, raw and wild lol. I get hit on my girls that are 10-13 years younger, when they know my age they run away. Agree with you on taking care of one's self shows part.
Yeah, you're clueless.
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Old 09-25-2013, 11:32 PM   #18
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Agree with you on women in CA part. But also women in CA have the highest rate of cosmetic surgery (SF and Beverly Hills). Such surgeries are needed with age. I like my women natural with little makeup.

Age is VERY relevant for both men and women.
If I recall, you're 35? Are you telling me you have no problem marrying someone who is 38 or 40? The woman won't be able to have more than a kid. A second kid will have an increased chance of all types of diseases (Down Syndrome, autism, etc..). Even men, after the age of 35, the mutation rates in their sperm goes up by 20%. Don't get me wrong, my dad had a normal kid when he was 70. But why take risk where I don't have to? I'll stick with younger women for marriage.

Maybe I'm a bit too rational and scientific about dating, but science always has the upper hand. I would rather be clueless and not have retarded kids.

Your thought process seems more emotional than rational. Which is fine, whatever makes you happy bro. I do envy you for the women options available to you on the West Coast Boston has the ugliest most unfriendly women

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Good looking, in shape women are ALREADY the exception, not the norm. Age is really irrelevant. California definitely skews things because we have a pot of gold here, but the rest of the country (...aside from probably NY and FL) doesn't provide the variety that we have here.

You are really clueless dude.


Yeah, you're clueless.
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Old 09-26-2013, 12:56 PM   #19
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Boston has the ugliest most unfriendly women
Or maybe itīs just your attitude
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Old 09-26-2013, 01:02 PM   #20
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put your finger in her butt

then next morning..

put your butt in her face
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