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Old 10-08-2013, 10:36 AM   #41
BimmerIsMyName
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Originally Posted by Zell View Post
No, they're called "tools"

So many girls take advantage of that **** to get free drinks. You're pretty much retarded if you:

a. Go to a club
b. Buy girls drinks at a club
c. Wear Axe body spray
Or
D. You do any of the following:
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Old 10-08-2013, 10:42 AM   #42
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damn it! Guys...this technique doesn't work at a supermarket. Don't bother. They sounded like universally appropriate techniques to me but evidently they're not. Also...not so good in the Drug Store, though I seemed to get a little more interest from the ladies in the Feminine Hygiene aisle.
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Old 10-08-2013, 10:44 AM   #43
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Offer a little Xanax at the pharm counter? Awww yeah, you're about to take her down to brown town.
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Old 10-08-2013, 10:52 AM   #44
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I don't really see what the big deal is, sure it is douchey but he's a stupid college kid. Booze has been a hook up facilitator for hundreds of years. If he was telling people how to spike drinks with drugs we'd be having a very different conversation.
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Old 10-08-2013, 10:58 AM   #45
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I envision douchebag frat guy to be just like the following:



Name: Oliver. There aren’t many names that are more homosexual than Oliver. As soon as you were old enough to realize what your name was, you should have killed yourself. Don’t bother trying to change your name, because no matter what, you will always be Oliver, and you will always be from…

Home state: Michigan. Or Michidan. Whichever you prefer. Worst and gayest state in the union. God Michigan sucks. That's two strikes for just waking up in the morning.

Pink shirt: I don’t give a **** what any of these fashion ******s say, pink is not the new blue. Pink is freakin’ pink. Quit watching ***** Eye for the Straight Guy, and put on a game. Ever notice that no sports teams in any league have pink anywhere in their uniforms? Not even the WNBA. Pink is the color of flowers and hippie’s hair and uninfected vagina. No man should EVER wear this color in any way. EVER. If you wear a pink shirt at any time you are a douchebag. You look like a pussy and a sissy, and I want to **** down your throat. Especially when you wear a pink shirt with a…

Popped collar: No. This just enhances your overly apparent douchebaggedness. When you buy a collared shirt, it comes with the collars folded over exactly how they should be. Leave them alone. Why do you want to hide your neck so bad? Don’t want to show off that hickie you got last night from that dumb slut you slipped some rufies? Because that is the only way you’re pulling any box with your collar turned up. Girls laugh at you. No matter what you think, it is not cool. Flip it back down and go change out of your…

Black undershirt: Is this supposed to fool us into thinking you’re hard? Let me remind you, you’re wearing a PINK shirt, with the collar up. You are not hard. Although I guess it matches your…

Wristband: What the? This pisses me off maybe more than any other thing here. Just get done trying to play basketball? Do you sweat profusely around attractive women, and need to swipe your brow every now and then? Or is this just another ploy to seduce some unsuspecting whore? Perhaps you’re wearing it because it matches that black undershirt which makes you look hard and brings out your true metrosexuality? Metrosexuals are gay. And so are you with your…

Cell phone clip: Hey dickhead, everyone has a cell phone now. 90% of 11 year olds have cell phones now. My 74 year old grandfather has a cell phone. There is no need to show it off to anyone. Pants have pockets for a reason. Use them. Oh wait, that’s probably where you keep your stash of rufies, and the stuff you use to make that…

Hemp bracelet: God I hate you, and the fact that you are giving the camera a…

Peace sign: The Persian Gulf war ended over a decade ago, and with it went the peace sign. Maybe you were letting that *** behind you checking out your ass know how many fingers you want him to use. And what’s up with those…

“Intellectual glasses”: You are not smart. And those specs aren’t tricking us into thinking you are. Remember, you have on a PINK shirt. Obviously you are not intelligent. I mean, come on, you also have on a…

Detroit Tigers hat: Not that I have anything against the Tigers, but wearing this hat exhibits the fact that you are either from Michigan, or cheer for Michigan sports teams. Both are equally unacceptable. Everyone from and everything about Michigan sucks. Michigan, along with Wisconsin should join Canada. Or you could just move there. We wouldn’t care. And Canada wouldn’t notice that you’re wearing…

Earrings in both ears: Well I guess we’re back in 8th grade now, and you’re rebelling against your parents by doing something they don’t like. You are not goth, and you are not a rock star. You are a douchebag. Seriously, in your hand is…

Not a beer: Notice everyone in the picture is holding a beer, except for Oliver. His Powerade and vodka makes him look like a real tough guy. Berry Blue. Mmmmmmmm. That could expain his…

Stupid facial expression: The typical look of a douchebag. “I’m too cool to actually have my picture taken, so when you force me to, I will make a facial expression to make it appear that I am cooler than everyone else around me when in reality I suck dick.” This look will be easy to spot on anyone who displays any of the above.

Now you know how to spot a douchebag, or realize that you are one. For those of you who aren’t, when you see a douchebag on the streets with your friends, make sure to point and laugh at him and give him the Factual Material douchebag salute. To do this, just extend one hand out, and make a motion with it as if you were, in fact, squeezing a douche bag. And if anyone recognizes Oliver here somewhere, punch him in the face and break those stupid glasses.
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Old 10-08-2013, 11:30 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by Zell View Post
No, they're called "tools"

So many girls take advantage of that **** to get free drinks. You're pretty much retarded if you:

a. Go to a club
b. Buy girls drinks at a club
c. Wear Axe body spray
So people who are not interested in the same things are you, are retarded.


And who wears Axe anymore besides 8th graders after gym class?
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Old 10-08-2013, 11:33 AM   #47
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I wear a pink dress shirt to work during breast cancer awareness month (aka October). I'm also a relay for life team member and sometimes wear pink to fund raisers..... Does this make me a douche?
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Old 10-08-2013, 11:33 AM   #48
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So people who are not interested in the same things are you, are retarded.


And who wears Axe anymore besides 8th graders after gym class?
Guys that wear Curve cologne.
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Old 10-08-2013, 11:42 AM   #49
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I can honestly say that because of Griffin, i am desensitized to alot of wierd stuff!
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Old 10-08-2013, 11:54 AM   #50
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...in the rain.

Nice, Griffin. My compliments!
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Old 10-08-2013, 11:57 AM   #51
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Originally Posted by Zell View Post
No, they're called "tools"

So many girls take advantage of that **** to get free drinks. You're pretty much retarded if you:

a. Go to a club
b. Buy girls drinks at a club
c. Wear Axe body spray
You've never bought a girl a drink before?
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Old 10-08-2013, 11:57 AM   #52
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I wear a pink dress shirt to work during breast cancer awareness month (aka October). I'm also a relay for life team member and sometimes wear pink to fund raisers..... Does this make me a douche?
A lot of NFLers were wearing pink yesterday. Have your critics talk to those guys first. See if they make it back to you.
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Old 10-08-2013, 11:57 AM   #53
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if he hadn't used the term "rapebait," i can't see how anyone would find this unusually objectionable. What's he's describing is definitely not rape in and of itself.
you are outta here!!!
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Old 10-08-2013, 12:06 PM   #54
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Re: This is why I don't affiliate myself with Frats

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zell View Post
No, they're called "tools"

So many girls take advantage of that **** to get free drinks. You're pretty much retarded if you:

a. Go to a club
b. Buy girls drinks at a club
c. Wear Axe body spray
I can vouch for this statement. I've had the pleasure to witness one of my gal friends elicit free drinks from dudes many times, she was never interested in them.

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Old 10-08-2013, 12:08 PM   #55
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This is why I don't affiliate myself with Frats

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LOL, oh the socially retarded but book smart Techies. I live in Midtown and see them out a lot.

I will say, the west side of campus has this nifty bar with bocce ball and games and shiz. Lots of really good lookin ladies in there.

I'll disagree with you Mike, Suprisingly enough there are some REALLY good looking ones at Tech. Although all the really hot ones are nursing students at Emory.
Other than that, the SEC girls are typically the prettiest, although not the brightest.
Well I am biased cause I go to alabama and the ladies here are either 9s and 10s or 3s and the 3s stick to the shadows


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Old 10-08-2013, 12:10 PM   #56
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The girlfriend and I went to Virginia Beach for last month. Guys were buying her drinks everywhere..... She went home with me and my wallet was not depleted, i thought it was great.
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Old 10-08-2013, 12:15 PM   #57
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Well I am biased cause I go to alabama and the ladies here are either 9s and 10s or 3s and the 3s stick to the shadows


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I would agree with you except for the fact that a lot of them are retarded and just looking for a husband. I'm from Texas and we have loads of dumb blonde hotties that I ran through when I was younger. Now, ya gotta be able to hold a conversation for me to tolerate your presence.

I'm a bit more partial to SC or Clemson women, UGA has a lot, Florida girls have their own style which departs that of the south. I hang out in an Auburn bar - there is a lovely showing for weekend games at that place as well.

North Carolina Trumps all...good lord.

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Old 10-08-2013, 12:16 PM   #58
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I can vouch for this statement. I've had the pleasure to witness one of my gal friends elicit free drinks from dudes many times, she was never interested in them.

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Likewise. A friend of mine in school was/is very good looking and was a pro. I don't generally buy girls drinks unless they came to the bar with me but there are exceptions and I usually keep it to a single drink.

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Originally Posted by yousharenow View Post
I would agree with you except for the fact that a lot of them are retarded and just looking for a husband.

I'm a bit more partial to SC or Clemson women, UGA has a lot, Florida girls have their own style which departs that of the south.

North Carolina Trumps all...good lord.
Girls going for that Mrs. degree all day, I love it.
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Old 10-08-2013, 12:23 PM   #59
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Likewise. A friend of mine in school was/is very good looking and was a pro. I don't generally buy girls drinks unless they came to the bar with me but there are exceptions and I usually keep it to a single drink.


Girls going for that Mrs. degree all day, I love it.
Well in Charlotte yes but I found quite the opposite in Raleigh. Raleigh is about as far north as you can go while still being in the south which is part of the reason I love it. The ladies there want to have careers and be their own person (which is NOT something you find in the deep south), yet they still have the charm of a southern belle. I met many northerners whom talked like northerners but being in the south for school softened them up.

NC State produced a good crop this school year, Charlotte is a bit more Stepford Wife-ish I found. ATL is a mixing pot and has something for absolutely everyone - but when you get out in the sticks near Athens its far different.
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Old 10-08-2013, 12:46 PM   #60
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The biggest degenerate in this thread is the guy who went on a rant about how terrible Michigan is.
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