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Old 12-13-2013, 10:00 AM   #1
kan2tan
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settling for less? what's your story?

I'm in a relationship and I'm not sure if I'm settling for less or just being a dick that has karma coming.

The bad(s). looks: 5/10.
5 years in and I question myself how and why I even started this relationship. I don't find her good looking and she has some weight issues. Not obese, not super fat, but has a bit of a muffin top and her stomach sticks out like she's a couple weeks in to her pregnancy. Sex is rare, but I get it from someone else (not paid and is the same person). I've cheated about 5 times but I'm pretty sure it's more. And she's a little bit controlling. I hate how she changes her voice when she speaks to other people. She also does this fcuking fake laugh too when talking to them. Annoys the **** outta me. When I bring it up, she throws a tantrum. I also hate how she gloats about her "ass". Bitch its just fat. You flat dont deny it. We have so many problems man!

The good:
She's caring. Good personality and a wifey type.

I've never broken up with a girl because I find it easy when a girl breaks it.

I'm so confused about this relationship. Friends tell me to just leave, but I care for her so much and I don't want to hurt her (even though I already did, but it will be my secret). At the same time I can't be here.

I was thinking about living a double life. Been thinking about it for years about how I would do it but it's hard having large sums of debt.
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Old 12-13-2013, 10:22 AM   #2
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It's time to leave and move on, not sure you can salvage this one. Break it off and work on yourself for a while before finding someone else that works more with what you want.
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Old 12-13-2013, 10:30 AM   #3
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Just leave.
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Old 12-13-2013, 10:31 AM   #4
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Re: settling for less? what's your story?

Don't be a little b1tch. Sure you can let the relationship degenerate but its just going to do more damage to both of you. Time to nut up and get out.
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Old 12-13-2013, 10:33 AM   #5
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Re: settling for less? what's your story?

Seriously? Get some on the side? You must be trolling....I feel bad for your soon to be ex
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Old 12-13-2013, 10:44 AM   #6
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Man up and move on, don't keep dragging her on while being unfaithful and not committed. I had a similar mindset in the past, not necessarily the unattractive portion, and failed to break up b/c I was comfortable in what I had and was afraid of being single (know that now). How old are you by the way? If y'all aren't married why the talk of this double life? Your not stuck in this relationship, people break up and it hurts for a portion but everyone heals and moves on with life.
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Old 12-13-2013, 12:01 PM   #7
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Stop living in your comfort zone and wasting your time and the girl's. Meet up with her, tell her it's not working out. Move on, find someone else. I was in a similar situation with an ex who had a hot body and a decent face, but I did not like it that much, she had it all in other areas (career, kitchen, bedroom,etc...), but I could not stay with her due to face attraction issue which I thought I would get over it. After two years, I broke up with her. Both of us are much happier now.
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Old 12-13-2013, 07:26 PM   #8
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I am 24. Still somewhat young and make stupid decisions. No I am not trolling. Yea I know my mind isn't right but for some odd reason I feel it's justified. In a way I guess I'm afraid of being single. 5 years of my life has been with her, and this is my longest relationship and the shittiest one too.

It's not like I cheated because I wasn't getting any. I cheated because of our problems that she started. She made me feel insecure and I only felt secure when I was with other girls. On top of that, she didnt even apologize. All she said and what she's been saying is that, "time should prove that to you. There is no need to alologize."

I'm being a b*tch about it yea.... i know haha.

I speak of the double life because she's been talking about when and if we get married life. I just play along though.

Ok I gotta figure it how I'm gonna break it off.
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Old 12-14-2013, 10:24 AM   #9
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Let us know how it goes. Sounds like a sh!tty situation, but at least you're doing it now before any more stupid decisions were made (i.e. marriage, house, kids)
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Old 12-16-2013, 04:32 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kan2tan View Post
I'm in a relationship and I'm not sure if I'm settling for less or just being a dick that has karma coming.

The bad(s). looks: 5/10.
5 years in and I question myself how and why I even started this relationship. I don't find her good looking and she has some weight issues. Not obese, not super fat, but has a bit of a muffin top and her stomach sticks out like she's a couple weeks in to her pregnancy. Sex is rare, but I get it from someone else (not paid and is the same person). I've cheated about 5 times but I'm pretty sure it's more. And she's a little bit controlling. I hate how she changes her voice when she speaks to other people. She also does this fcuking fake laugh too when talking to them. Annoys the **** outta me. When I bring it up, she throws a tantrum. I also hate how she gloats about her "ass". Bitch its just fat. You flat dont deny it. We have so many problems man!

The good:
She's caring. Good personality and a wifey type.

I've never broken up with a girl because I find it easy when a girl breaks it.

I'm so confused about this relationship. Friends tell me to just leave, but I care for her so much and I don't want to hurt her (even though I already did, but it will be my secret). At the same time I can't be here.

I was thinking about living a double life. Been thinking about it for years about how I would do it but it's hard having large sums of debt.
Dude your situation is 100% like mine. Even the double life thing.

pm me, i think i can give you some good advice.
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Old 12-16-2013, 11:31 AM   #11
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So i've got an idea. Pursue the double life thing and let me film it. MTV eats this stuff up. Season one we'll get like 5k an episode. Then, GET PAID in season 2. Like 6 figures.
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Old 12-16-2013, 11:34 PM   #12
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B. Rabbit: Hey Sol, do you ever wonder at what point you just got to say fvck it man? Like when you gotta stop living up here, and start living down here?

Sol: It's 7.30 in the morning dawg.



I cannot settle for less. Would rather die alone.
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Old 12-17-2013, 07:15 AM   #13
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B. Rabbit: Hey Sol, do you ever wonder at what point you just got to say fvck it man? Like when you gotta stop living up here, and start living down here?

Sol: It's 7.30 in the morning dawg.



I cannot settle for less. Would rather die alone.
Yea that's one of my problems. I don't want to die alone. I'm fine being alone when I'm out eating or shopping or doing whatever. Me-time or going out to treat myself or whatever you call it. What's funny is my friends think that's a bad thing (spending some me-time) because people will think I'm a loner. So much judging man. Like how do you go on in life when you worry about people judging you. If I could, I would just wear pajamas when going to a club or anywhere (which i do on most occasions). That's some comfortable sh*t man.

But when it comes to the new-to-be gf, I know that it will have it's own issues too. Like I dated this girl, her name was azusa, when I was with her. She was 29 then and I was 22. Japanese, cute, engineer (and I was still in school), good in bed (not a dead fish), BUT after a few months, she went crazy. She wouldn't let me spend time with friends, she purposely wanted me to get her prego (I guess that's why she wanted to do it without), was emotional because I wasn't devoted enough.

After a few months after breaking it off with her (yes I broke the relationahip through email), I regretted it. She was better than the girl I've been with for 5 years. Even though she's old (older than me), she has her life together (career), good in bed, and was very caring and worries about me if I already ate breakfast/lunch/dinner, she would feed me. I guess I was just afraid of commitment (being that i was only 22). I've spoken with her, I apologized and told her she was a great person, but she still hates me lol. She was very japanese-like. Have you watched asian porn and US porn? She moans like the asian girls but she actually makes moves in bed and sometimes likes to control. AND I love what she says when we do it. She was saying, "itai" in the most sexual way possible and man I love that sh*t lol. And when she says "hmm" (idk how to spell it) in japanese which translates to "yes". She isn't white washed or rather act like an ABA (american born asian). She was born and raised in japan, conservative, humble and is faithful. Idk how to explain it.

If by chance she has a friend on here and reads this and she knows about it, I would take her back in a heartbeat.

I'm such a dick and beyond. Here I thought I was different from every guy lol. But maybe I'm worst.

Last edited by kan2tan; 12-17-2013 at 07:21 AM.
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Old 12-19-2013, 07:15 PM   #14
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lol you're 24 dude, you're not dying alone. Settle the F down.
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Old 12-20-2013, 08:42 AM   #15
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lol you're 24 dude, you're not dying alone. Settle the F down.
yea, I am. hahahha
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Old 12-20-2013, 09:29 AM   #16
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Dying alone at 24
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Old 12-20-2013, 12:02 PM   #17
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settling for less? what's your story?

Emotional midget.


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Old 12-20-2013, 12:15 PM   #18
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settling for less? what's your story?

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lol you're 24 dude, you're not dying alone. Settle the F down.
Lmfao, he'd better chill out or he might. Seriously though you'll probably be fine but tweaking out about dying alone a 24 isn't going to attract any keepers.


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Old 12-20-2013, 12:18 PM   #19
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Either sack up and break up with her or be miserable and married to a woman you can't stand for the rest of your life and procreate with her, ruining their lives too.


Be a man and have the common decency to break up with her. What a pvssy.
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Old 12-21-2013, 02:45 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by kan2tan View Post
I'm in a relationship and I'm not sure if I'm settling for less or just being a dick that has karma coming.

The bad(s). looks: 5/10.
5 years in and I question myself how and why I even started this relationship. I don't find her good looking and she has some weight issues. Not obese, not super fat, but has a bit of a muffin top and her stomach sticks out like she's a couple weeks in to her pregnancy. Sex is rare, but I get it from someone else (not paid and is the same person). I've cheated about 5 times but I'm pretty sure it's more. And she's a little bit controlling. I hate how she changes her voice when she speaks to other people. She also does this fcuking fake laugh too when talking to them. Annoys the **** outta me. When I bring it up, she throws a tantrum. I also hate how she gloats about her "ass". Bitch its just fat. You flat dont deny it. We have so many problems man!

It sounds like there is quite a bit of tension in this relationship, and there are no signs that you two will be able to absolve your issues anytime soon. You've already encroached on the trust, so I'd walk! Neither of you need the stress.




Quote:
Originally Posted by kan2tan View Post
The good:
She's caring. Good personality and a wifey type.
It would seem that her annoying/bad qualities outweigh the good. You'll find another girl with a caring and genuine personality.


Quote:
Originally Posted by kan2tan View Post
I've never broken up with a girl because I find it easy when a girl breaks it.
Man-up!



Quote:
Originally Posted by kan2tan View Post
I'm so confused about this relationship. Friends tell me to just leave, but I care for her so much and I don't want to hurt her (even though I already did, but it will be my secret). At the same time I can't be here.

I was thinking about living a double life. Been thinking about it for years about how I would do it but it's hard having large sums of debt.

Making the harder decision (..i.e..leaving the relationship) is far more respectable than leading a double life.
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