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Love Line

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Old 01-21-2008, 06:43 PM   #21
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Man Im glad I made this thread this is basically whats making me not give into her bull ****. Thank all you guys for being there and reassuring me Im making the right decision.

I just sent about an 8 page text. Telling her not to talk to me again until she was ready to grow up and be secure with her self and our relationship. I told her I will pick my friends boys or girls over her any day regardless of how much I love her and if she loved me as much she wouldn't put me in a position to choose.

Thats the cliff notes haha. Thanks again guys

I don't know about you, but I will be pretty mad if I realize that my girlfriend's best friend is a man and she still speaks to him.
1. A man and a woman, cannot be friends. One day one of them will fall for the other one sooner or later.
2. If you are in a serious relationship, as respect to your significant other, you have to cut the opposite sex frienship, slowly.
3. It is not jelausy or insecurity. When somebody is in a relationship, there will be problems. If there are problems, of course, you will go to your best friend. The worst the problem, the more you will rely on your best friend. The more you rely on your best friend, the more the chances to fall in love with your best friend. It is not jelausy but realistic.
4. Usually, your best friend should understand the situation.

If you broke with your girlfriend becaue of your best friend, one thing for sure is that you did not care for your new girlfriend.
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:10 PM   #22
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I told her I will pick my friends boys or girls over her any day regardless of how much I love her
i agreed with you till you said that...
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:20 PM   #23
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I didnt read any of the other responses, but if your thinking is messed up, then so is mine. And I like to think that I've got my stuff sorted out, so it seems to me that you've done the right thing. Your friends (guys and girls alike) were there much longer than any chick, and that friendship shouldn't be taken for granted. So, she's got to learn to accept it, or learn to get lost.
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:39 PM   #24
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Reminds me of a very close friend that I have (had). He's been dating this girl on and off since high school and just recently (2 years ago) he finally got married. He's now about 26-27. Let me tell you...he doesn't have anymore friends (wife pushed all his friends away) all his friends are her's...and sad thing about it was..we grew up together since we were little kids.

Ever since he got married...he's been on 24hr lock down. "WHEN THE SUNS DOWN HE BETTER BE IN HIS PJ'S"

I even emailed him this.

boysnightout.pdf

You dont want to always have to use this when going out w/ your friends now do you?

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Old 01-21-2008, 07:41 PM   #25
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:43 PM   #26
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I didnt read any of the other responses, but if your thinking is messed up, then so is mine. And I like to think that I've got my stuff sorted out, so it seems to me that you've done the right thing. Your friends (guys and girls alike) were there much longer than any chick, and that friendship shouldn't be taken for granted. So, she's got to learn to accept it, or learn to get lost.
kangman69 is dead on. Except for #2... if your friend respects your relationship then I don't see a problem staying friends. But if you "LOVE" somebody and talk about marriage then that person should be #1 in your life. They should take priority. I love my girlfirend and we plan to marry each other... and if she was uncomfortable with one of my female friends then i'd choose my GF. Granted... my gf would have to have a legitimate reason for being uncomfortable... like me lying about the relationship.

When you love somebody you have to choose at some point who and what your priorities are. If you aren't ready to choose the person you say you love... then you obviously don't love them.
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Old 01-21-2008, 08:23 PM   #27
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I don't know about you, but I will be pretty mad if I realize that my girlfriend's best friend is a man and she still speaks to him.
1. A man and a woman, cannot be friends. One day one of them will fall for the other one sooner or later.
2. If you are in a serious relationship, as respect to your significant other, you have to cut the opposite sex frienship, slowly.
3. It is not jelausy or insecurity. When somebody is in a relationship, there will be problems. If there are problems, of course, you will go to your best friend. The worst the problem, the more you will rely on your best friend. The more you rely on your best friend, the more the chances to fall in love with your best friend. It is not jelausy but realistic.
4. Usually, your best friend should understand the situation.

If you broke with your girlfriend becaue of your best friend, one thing for sure is that you did not care for your new girlfriend.
OP, we just found your ex's new b/f. Hook it up.
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Old 01-21-2008, 09:22 PM   #28
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I don't know about you, but I will be pretty mad if I realize that my girlfriend's best friend is a man and she still speaks to him.
1. A man and a woman, cannot be friends. One day one of them will fall for the other one sooner or later.
2. If you are in a serious relationship, as respect to your significant other, you have to cut the opposite sex frienship, slowly.
3. It is not jelausy or insecurity. When somebody is in a relationship, there will be problems. If there are problems, of course, you will go to your best friend. The worst the problem, the more you will rely on your best friend. The more you rely on your best friend, the more the chances to fall in love with your best friend. It is not jelausy but realistic.
4. Usually, your best friend should understand the situation.

If you broke with your girlfriend becaue of your best friend, one thing for sure is that you did not care for your new girlfriend.
agreed
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Old 01-21-2008, 09:43 PM   #29
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Old 01-21-2008, 10:07 PM   #30
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I don't know about you, but I will be pretty mad if I realize that my girlfriend's best friend is a man and she still speaks to him.
1. A man and a woman, cannot be friends. One day one of them will fall for the other one sooner or later. Yes but it is up to the other person to direct the relationship where it needs to be, namely the friendzone.
2. If you are in a serious relationship, as respect to your significant other, you have to cut the opposite sex frienship, slowly. False, this is not marriage it is a fukking girlfriend nothing more and you are on a honeymoon. Statistically speaking you will be broken up in a matter of months.
3. It is not jelausy or insecurity. When somebody is in a relationship, there will be problems. If there are problems, of course, you will go to your best friend. The worst the problem, the more you will rely on your best friend. The more you rely on your best friend, the more the chances to fall in love with your best friend. It is not jelausy but realistic. It is insecurity and a matter of trust. You clearly don't trust her.
4. Usually, your best friend should understand the situation. This is an unrealistic expectation, see #2.

If you broke with your girlfriend becaue of your best friend, one thing for sure is that you did not care for your new girlfriend.
The real reason is because you value your best friend whom you've known for years over someone who is new in your life you know nothing about, in other words a complete stranger.
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Old 01-21-2008, 11:28 PM   #31
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Fvcking dead on. It's sad to see these guys saying it was wrong .. You fellas must not have any friends ? or just straight whooped and don't want to admit.
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Old 01-21-2008, 11:28 PM   #32
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I hate when buddies ditch you for a girl

And I hate when girls make you detach from your friends, and devote yourself completely to them. Not fair
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Old 01-21-2008, 11:33 PM   #33
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Man, you guys have security issues. If you're going to trust someone, trust them wholeheartedly. As far as I can tell, "trusting" someone and then putting them on a leash, telling them who they can and cannot see (especially their friends) is somewhat counter intuitive. If they let you down, that's their own fault and loss, not yours. I know I wouldn't be unfaithful (as confident as I am that I wouldn't kill another man), and I guess I'm just looking for someone the same (AKA someone I can trust). People need to check themselves before they get involved in relationships, because the ones you get involved with have relationships with other people too, and you need to respect that.

Think about it, when you're trying to prevent the person you "love" from seeing their friends, who are you really trying to protect? Who's feelings are you really trying to bolster? Who's interest do you really have in mind?
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Old 01-21-2008, 11:51 PM   #34
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my girlfriend IS my best friend... sooooo.........

anyway, all of my old high school friends have completely turned into hardcore party animals who aren't going anywhere in life. my gf realized that right away and told me that i shouldn't be hanging out with them if i want to do anything with my life. she didn't go crazy or anything, just let me know what she thought. i thought about it and agreed, so i stopped hanging out with them for the most part and i've been doing a lot better ever since.

some of you guys are way too jaded by evil ex-girlfriends. the key is to pick the right one!

to put it simply, i would give up a friend for my gf in a heartbeat. if she was completely nonsensical and just outright paranoid, then there's no way in hell.. maybe i just got lucky, idk
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Old 01-22-2008, 12:07 AM   #35
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I don't know about you, but I will be pretty mad if I realize that my girlfriend's best friend is a man and she still speaks to him.
1. A man and a woman, cannot be friends. One day one of them will fall for the other one sooner or later.
2. If you are in a serious relationship, as respect to your significant other, you have to cut the opposite sex frienship, slowly.
3. It is not jelausy or insecurity. When somebody is in a relationship, there will be problems. If there are problems, of course, you will go to your best friend. The worst the problem, the more you will rely on your best friend. The more you rely on your best friend, the more the chances to fall in love with your best friend. It is not jelausy but realistic.
4. Usually, your best friend should understand the situation.

If you broke with your girlfriend becaue of your best friend, one thing for sure is that you did not care for your new girlfriend.
you have some issues

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Old 01-22-2008, 12:10 AM   #36
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You did the right thing, never change for a girl, your life will be miserable, just look at 60% of the men out there, getting controlled by their wives, gf's, etc. Can't go out, can't talk to friends, can't do anything they want to, have to asked for permission from wife, pathetic, if you asked me.

I make it clear in my all my relationships (I've been in quite a few), I do whatever I want, if you try to change that, get out of my life, I will never be inconsiderate, I will try to do the right thing, I will be loyal and reasonable and I expect the same from her, if not, there are a billion fishes in the sea.
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Old 01-22-2008, 12:24 AM   #37
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IMO, she didn't have to like your friends, but she should have accepted the fact that you had close friends and at least given you the chance to prove that they were friends and nothing else - she just didn't trust you.... what kind of relationship is that?
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Old 01-22-2008, 02:00 AM   #38
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Fvcking dead on. It's sad to see these guys saying it was wrong .. You fellas must not have any friends ? or just straight whooped and don't want to admit.


So what's the process? When you're single you have friends, even best friends, and for sure friends of the opposite sex. Do you tell them up front that you're only going to be friends with them while you're single? That as soon as you get serious with a girl, you're going to talk to them less and less and cut them entirely out of your life eventually? I'll bet that builds some solid friendships.

So then you're in a relationship, and you've cut contact with your female friends. You might still have your guy friends, but probably only the ones your g/f approves of.

So then you break up with your g/f, and what? Start all over again collecting a new group of friends, including maybe a best friend that's female? Or do you get back in touch with the ones you cut out of your life previously and try to pick up where you left off? Does that work? Jeezus, that sounds like an arduous process to me.

What do you do when the g/f starts naming family members you're not allowed to have any contact with anymore? If you see THAT as crossing a line, but you don't see what the OP is describing as crossing a line, you need to rethink where you draw your lines.

Alec, your deal is different, bro. Yeah, your old lady pointed out what she thought about you vs your friends. But you made the decision because it was in your best interest. You may have gone the same direction even if you'd never met her cuz your common ground with your boys disappeared.

There's a difference between "sorry guys, blowing $50 on getting completely blitzed AGAIN this weekend just isn't what I want to do with my life" and "sorry guys, I can't go out with you cuz my old lady says I'm not allowed to".

There are absolutely situations where you have a friend that your sig other doesn't get along with, and you have to figure out who is going to get your time and attention, cuz you've only got a finite amount to spread around. And you're probably gonna choose your SO. But that's YOUR choice to make, it's not forced on you by your SO.

An SO that systematically forces you to cut people out of your life because they're opposite sex, regardless of your relationship or history with them has got some serious issues.
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Old 01-22-2008, 02:04 AM   #39
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Old 01-22-2008, 02:07 AM   #40
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I just broke up with my gf of 2.5 years and I'm high off that purp..

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