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Love Line

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Old 01-22-2008, 11:01 PM   #61
Ynot
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Originally Posted by kangman69 View Post
SH***T! I don' know how helpful you female-friend is, but I will leave all my friends for her!
How old are you, there should be an age limit to post. It doesn't matter how physically attractive a person is, after a few years with that person, you don't even notice that beauty anymore, it's inner beauty that last forever. something she lacks (I'm assuming)

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Originally Posted by ianbiz View Post
Chad, as hot and wonderful she is, it may not be worth it. Srsly, you're 19 (20 in like 2 days), you still be able to hang out with the people you grew up with.
I could understand if you were in your mid to late 20's and looking for a wife, to settle down and raise a family, but umm.. (i dont know what your plan is for this).
Chad, I personally think she is trying to control you a little too much, if anything, go to HH without her and see how that goes, if she can accept you hanging out with friends, I think you guys could work it out...
Call me sometime, we need to chill.
Are you his friend? I think the best advice comes from close friends, Chad, you should asked your friends honest opinion about her. If 7 out of 10 friends doesn't approve of her then she's probably not the right person for you. I've had friends who had manipulative gf's and I tell them straight up, she's not the right person. It's their decision whether they want to live that lifestyle, some men do enjoy being controlled.
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Old 01-22-2008, 11:13 PM   #62
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never give up a friend for anyone but family
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Old 01-23-2008, 01:00 AM   #63
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For the record, I'm 37 and I've had some serious g/fs in my life, lived with one for a couple of years. I don't have all the answers, but I've been around the block a few times.

If I understand the OP correctly, here's what his g/f is NOT telling him:

"You spend too much time talking/visiting/texting/hanging out with your friends and it's not leaving enough time for us. I need you to spend more time with me if we're going to be in this serious relationship together, and that probably means spending less time with your friends."
or
"It bugs me that you still have so much contact with your ex-g/fs, it makes me wonder if you're really over them and really into me. If we're going to be serious about this, I would feel better about it if you showed that you're done with them romantically by putting some distance between you and spending more time/paying more attention to me."
or
"Female friend A is not good for you, she brings you down/does drugs/tries to hold you back/keeps you in a rut/whatever. You need to get her out of your life because of the negative affect she has on you. I can't stand watching it happen, so if you're not going to do that, I can't be with you."

She's not saying any of that ^. What she's saying is this v.

"Those friends are female. You're not allowed to have friends that are female. Break off all contact with them."

Give me a m/f-ing break.

When you get into an LTR, whether it lasts forever or not, your life changes. You may lose what you had in common with some people. You end up with more couple-friends and fewer single-friends. You have less free time, less spare $, you give up some things, you make sacrifices. Absolutely you do, it's bound to happen and it should happen, it's part of the deal.

But that is NOT what's happening here. The OPs g/f is categorically trying to eliminate any females from his life. I GUARUNTEE if she's successful at that, some or all of his boys are next. Then will come the family members she's not too fond of or she sees as a threat because he has a strong bond with them.

WTF? And how do you think she's going to be when he wants to tell a funny story about a female coworker? How do you think it's going to go over when his buddy's sister needs his help cuz her car broke down and he's "the car guy"? I don't care how good she looks now, or what kind of cookies she makes or the mattress trix she knows. Get roped into a relationship like that and learn a new meaning of the word MISERY.

/rant
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Old 01-30-2008, 01:43 PM   #64
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Ynot: Easy man, I was just joking. I know looks are important, but not as important as the internal characteristics.

Xcelrart: I completely agree with you. According to the OP, his girlfriend was just asking not to see his girl - friend, and not restricting to see other male - friends.

If you are in a serious relationship, she (best friend - girl) will be gone. Or, if I see her, it will be with my significant other.
But imagine this, you and your girlfriend had a fight. Then suddenly she calls her best male-friend and talk about the problem. How would you feel? Knowing that she is talking about the problems within the relationship to another opposite sex? Ok, some of you will say that the couple has agreed not to talk about the bad things in the relationship with the opposite sex - best friend. Do you really think that is possible? In my opinion: NO
If she is asking you don't smoke, don't drink too much, don't use drugs, don't hang around with gangsters, etc., etc., it is because she cares about you.
If she is asking you to stop having an opposite sex - best friend, it is because she cares about the relationship and will not like to loose you rather than jealousy.
If you cannot do those, or at least try to cut it, then you don't care as much as se does for you.
If she tells you to stop modding your car, then she has some problems!
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Old 01-30-2008, 02:12 PM   #65
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We have begun to talk about 2 completely opposite extremes here. The truth is:

1. Its not cool to completely ditch a true and respected friend just because a gf says so with no apparent valid reason

2. It should, however, be understandable that you are going to spend a substantially less amount of time with this friend because you are in a relationship. It should also be understandable that friends of the opposite sex are obviously going to strike most SO's the wrong way.
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Either pursue her and risk getting Mono, or don't pursue her,...stay home and use your Mano.

It's either Mono or Mano .... You decide
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Old 01-30-2008, 02:27 PM   #66
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But see I dont even see this girl/girls that are my friends they live 600+ miles away so if i do talk to them its on facebook or through the phone or email. So its not like im hangn out with them all the time and what not.
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Old 01-30-2008, 03:10 PM   #67
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Old 01-30-2008, 06:03 PM   #68
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But see I dont even see this girl/girls that are my friends they live 600+ miles away so if i do talk to them its on facebook or through the phone or email. So its not like im hangn out with them all the time and what not.
Her side would be understandable if you actually saw these people in person, but since you don't its excessive and wrong for her to hold a grudge against you just for keeping in touch.

Its one thing if YOU feel its in your best interest to shift the balance of attention from your friends to your SO, but its another when you are getting pulled that way by her. I can see worse things down the line man.
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Either pursue her and risk getting Mono, or don't pursue her,...stay home and use your Mano.

It's either Mono or Mano .... You decide
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Old 01-30-2008, 06:46 PM   #69
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Reminds me of a very close friend that I have (had). He's been dating this girl on and off since high school and just recently (2 years ago) he finally got married. He's now about 26-27. Let me tell you...he doesn't have anymore friends (wife pushed all his friends away) all his friends are her's...and sad thing about it was..we grew up together since we were little kids.

Ever since he got married...he's been on 24hr lock down. "WHEN THE SUNS DOWN HE BETTER BE IN HIS PJ'S"

I even emailed him this.

Attachment 257042

You dont want to always have to use this when going out w/ your friends now do you?
i know the same type of friend, he ain't married but it's exact same thing...
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Old 01-30-2008, 06:54 PM   #70
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i recently lost one of my best friends (known since kindgergarten)

over a girl that he met on the internet.

He is 23

she is 16.

thats all i got to say about that.
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Old 01-30-2008, 06:55 PM   #71
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and what makes it worse is that they both talk smack about me all day saying im jealous about what they have and that im a loser and so forth.


I told him before I dropped him from my life that if I ever hear him talk smack about me I will destroy him

also him and her hacked my myspace account i don't know how and destroyed the page.
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Old 01-31-2008, 02:23 AM   #72
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and what makes it worse is that they both talk smack about me all day saying im jealous about what they have and that im a loser and so forth.


I told him before I dropped him from my life that if I ever hear him talk smack about me I will destroy him

also him and her hacked my myspace account i don't know how and destroyed the page.

Well, that sucks. That is not the way it is supposed to be. I mean, I understand when my friend ditches me when they have a new girlfriend, but destroying myspace, or any other thing, that is wrong. Actually, that guy was never your friend.
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Old 01-31-2008, 02:46 AM   #73
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"Bros before Hoes" is such a b.s. line
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Old 01-31-2008, 02:55 AM   #74
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Well, that sucks. That is not the way it is supposed to be. I mean, I understand when my friend ditches me when they have a new girlfriend, but destroying myspace, or any other thing, that is wrong. Actually, that guy was never your friend.
yea i just now realized it
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Old 01-31-2008, 02:56 AM   #75
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People in fresh relationships do that. Meaning people who never had a serious relationship before. For the more experienced people ( YNoT, Xcel, etc ), we know how to do what. I give the lady all the attention she wants, AND I make it to whatever my boys got planned.


Through thick and thin I"m with my bro's.


Fvck outta here. Loyalty is strong on this one
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Old 01-31-2008, 02:57 AM   #76
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"Bros before Hoes" is such a b.s. line


You're a really cool guy, but you just had sh!tty friends. I mean you seem to have no probelm giving them up. Probably losers and you made a bad choice in character. Atleast you found a girl.
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Old 01-31-2008, 03:04 AM   #77
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Ya right no way. My friends > some random chick. Then again i am only 18 so i could careless.
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Old 01-31-2008, 03:09 AM   #78
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You're a really cool guy, but you just had sh!tty friends. I mean you seem to have no probelm giving them up. Probably losers and you made a bad choice in character. Atleast you found a girl.
that's also true... i had horrible friends.

my best friend is probably sheefo2k (from this forum), and i definitely showed up pretty much whenever he needed me to. my other friends though, forget about it! i'm glad they're all gone now though and i have new friends that (now that i think about it) i would sacrifice time with my girl for.

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Old 01-31-2008, 05:33 AM   #79
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At the beginning of the relationship, everybody tends to dissappear. I do it, too. But I don't have any intentions of ditching them. Of course, one has ditched me because according to him, I ditched him. Well, come on. I just got a new girlfriend. Anyway, after a while, me, girlfriend, and my friends, and even her friends, hang around together. At the end, everybody knows each other. Of course, I don't see her friends by myself and same thing with my girlfriend.
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Old 02-10-2008, 08:55 PM   #80
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Its so damn hard to end a relationship with somebody youve been with so long. Even when your unhappy as hell in the relationship you still love the person. And you have built a routine that involves you and her that you have gotten so used to doing everyday. Makes it hard. Anybody else found it hard to break up with somebody just because your so used to the relationship you can imagine being w.o that person again?

Then it makes it even harder when you have less then a week to figure it all out because your moving in a week and know that once you leave if you break up you cant just decide that you miss her and go back and try to work things out.

Sorry just had to let it out again.
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