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Old 02-24-2008, 12:47 PM   #21
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Find more projects to do for your BMW. That will take your mind of her..
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Old 02-24-2008, 02:04 PM   #22
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This is a break up thread w/ ex's. What about how to cope when divorced? Does the same rules applies? LoL..
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Old 02-24-2008, 02:24 PM   #23
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This is a break up thread w/ ex's. What about how to cope when divorced? Does the same rules applies? LoL..
Yup. Still an ex. An ex wife.
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Old 02-24-2008, 02:41 PM   #24
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Yup. Still an ex. An ex wife.
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Old 02-24-2008, 02:57 PM   #25
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The next girl will always be an UPGRADE, so you have to look into that more
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Old 02-24-2008, 03:08 PM   #26
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Take trips to places,meet new people. Thats what really helped me, from my last breakup. I left to europe for a summer to visit family. I came back I was completely a new man.
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Old 02-24-2008, 08:54 PM   #27
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The next girl will always be an UPGRADE, so you have to look into that more
yep, when life closes one door, another always opens up, its just a matter of when

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Take trips to places,meet new people. Thats what really helped me, from my last breakup. I left to europe for a summer to visit family. I came back I was completely a new man.
yeah, ive been spending alot of time with friends and going out partying and stuff, been getting better about it as of late, things are slowly beginning to look up, gonna drive up to UF for a party next weekend, my friends are determined to get me through it lol
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Old 02-24-2008, 08:58 PM   #28
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Girls seems so fall in love faster, but guys always fall deeper
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Old 02-25-2008, 01:12 AM   #29
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well, this topic seems to be brought up alot in the love line forum, so i figured id do a little write up on this, since i just went through a pretty messy one that im currently trying to deal with aswell, ive found a few ways of coping with the depression that has worked well for me so far, and i thought id share em with you guys or who ever may need this in the future, some of it may seem obvious, but when youre depress or extremely upset, sometimes we lose sight of the obvious, and what can really help us, so here goes

1) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH FRIENDS - DO NOT isolate, DO NOT just lay in your room staring at the ceiling thinking about the situation and hoping things get better, this is when you start thinking about stupid **** and/or start doing stupid ****, which isnt good. surround yourself with friends and people that will make you happy and take your mind away from her, whether their your roomates, best friends, poker buddies, w/e, if youre a guy, get together some of your boys and go out, this REALLY helps, the more time you spend with them, the BETTER, being able to have a chat with your boys man to man about how to deal with the situation makes a big difference, the night i broke up with my ex, my roomates and my best girl friends took me out for ice cream at 1 AM and bought a box of legos from walmart and we were messing around with it for a few hours lol it was dumb, but we had a good time and it really cheered me up.

2) VENT - very important, towards your sanity and emotional health, there are a few select friends that i will take advice from, i sat down with them, and they cared enough that they talked for over an hour with me about the break up, and gave me tons of good advice and support. its never good to keep **** bottled up, you may not be the type that likes to vent, and believe me, i was the same way, but then sooner or later, that bottle is just going to get more and more full until it over flows, and thats when you will have even bigger problems, so remember to vent, im lucky enough that my boys are always there to listen to me and i have girl friends that would literally sit there for hours and lend their support and encouragement. so remember, your friends are always there to listen, good friends love you and care about you enough that they wont abandon you when you feel shitty and would always, without fail, do their best to see you through your tough times.

3) CUT HER OFF - this is a biggie, and perhaps the toughest but most effective way towards feeling better. for me, i really cared about her, alot, and i still had feelings for her, and because of that, it was the hardest thing for me to do when she asked if i still wanted to be friends, and for me to tell her no and walk away. this may seem immature, but its definitely not, if your feelings for her remain, watching her see other guys, date around, and be with another guy will be torture, being around her and knowing that you will never have what you had with her before will eat a hole through you, man up, in this situation, its ok to be selfish, and look out for you and your own well being, dont put yourself in the situation where you torture yourself just because you cant let go of your feelings for her, know that she never reciprocated the feelings, and because of that, convince yourself that she doesnt deserve someone like you that cares for her, realize all that you have to offer her, and say **** it, she doesnt deserve it, and there is going to be another girl down the road that will appreciate you for all that you do and all that you have to offer, and its time to take the next step towards finding that girl.

4) YOURE #1 - never lose track of that, until youre married, you must always look out for you, you are #1, in any relationship, you cannot allow yourself to be completely selfless, because if you lose track of this, you make yourself vulnerable, and odds are it will be your downfall as soon as you guys encounter issues. know this, and never forget it.

5) FIND HER FLAWS - and focus on them, convince yourself that she had too many of them, nitpick if you need to, find everything that was wrong with her and tell yourself that you deserve better than a girl that was so ****ed up, for me, this was a biggie, you tend to not see these things or overlook them when youre in the relationship with her, just because youre so blinded by your feelings that even if shes not perfect, you want to see her as such, which needless to say isnt a good thing for you in the long run. once you can see all of this, be relieved that you no longer have to deal with this, and tell yourself that she will soon be someone else's problem.

6) DO THINGS THAT WILL TAKE YOUR MIND OFF OF HER - whether its playing cards with your roomates, taking a nice long drive, working out, etc, keep yourself occupied with leisure activities that you enjoy and will make you happy, this will keep you occupied to the point where you will forget about her long enough for you to slowly heal, and the more time you spend not thinking about her, the better. driving and art is something that works very well for me, take long calming drives or put your ipod on and lay down a canvas infront of you and just zone out. in the event that you HAVE to think about her, channel your emotions into something positive, if youre like me, hit the gym and take it out on 250 lbs of iron lol.

7) FOCUS ON WHAT YOU HAVE GOING FOR YOU - for me, its that i have perhaps the greatest friends in the world that will help me through thick and thin, perhaps its a good job that you have, family, school, etc. this will really help you feel better and move on, for me, i came to see how fortunate i was to have all these things going for me, so much so that breaking it off with her just became petty.

7) LASTLY, GO OUT - meet new people and take time to get to know them, before you know it, your ex will be a thing of the past, and she will be replaced sooner than you know it. Clubs, parties, and other social events are a good place to start, even going to the movies the going to the gym, anywhere where there are alot of people, you can be with friends, and where you can be around alot of people in a social environment.


hope this helps guys! it actually did me alot of good to write this, and hopefully it will help at least one person that posts here! good luck guys
I agree with everything except CUT HER OFF. This is situational. One must be real with themselves. If you can handle keeping her as a friend, go for it. However, if you can't tell her why. If she doesn't understand, she will some day. Best of luck to anyone who reads this and needs the advice! You will be cool!
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Old 02-25-2008, 01:49 AM   #30
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Girls seems so fall in love faster, but guys always fall deeper
EXACTLY
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Old 02-25-2008, 10:14 AM   #31
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Girls seems so fall in love faster, but guys always fall deeper
I seem to recall some study that found that men suffer MORE from a breakup than women do. Divorced men experienced a deeper sense of loss than divorced women.

And looking around at the real world, it does seem that women find it a lot easier to move on after a breakup.

I don't know if this is because they need to have a man at all times, they were less emotionally invested in the previous relationship than the man was, or both.

All I know is that anecdotal evidence of the man being in the dumps while his ex is already living it up with a new guy as if nothing happened is legion...
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Old 02-28-2008, 03:35 PM   #32
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All I know is that anecdotal evidence of the man being in the dumps while his ex is already living it up with a new guy as if nothing happened is legion...
So true. Not even 1 week after my fiance and I broke it off she was shacked up with another guy. Its truly amazing to me how fast women can get over things like that.
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Old 02-28-2008, 06:56 PM   #33
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good advice. definitely agree on the not being friends part afterwards....maybe after you get over your feelings for her. and agreed, how do girls bounce back so fast...it hurts just to watch
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Old 02-28-2008, 07:00 PM   #34
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Broke up last night, its the second time i've broken up with this girl, but damn it hurts plenty to reflect back.

Just hope i dont make the same mistake and give in.
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Old 02-29-2008, 10:09 AM   #35
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Broke up last night, its the second time i've broken up with this girl, but damn it hurts plenty to reflect back.

Just hope i dont make the same mistake and give in.
hang in there bro, mine called me yesterday, i wanted to pick up, but ended up hitting the ignore button, tossed the phone, and went out with my roomates, trust me, you wont regret it
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Old 02-29-2008, 10:20 AM   #36
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hang in there bro, mine called me yesterday, i wanted to pick up, but ended up hitting the ignore button, tossed the phone, and went out with my roomates, trust me, you wont regret it
WAY TO GO, STAN!

You da man!

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Old 02-29-2008, 03:20 PM   #37
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Old 03-01-2008, 05:38 AM   #38
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Great thread... Great advice Novare.
I still think that every situation will dictate how or what one can, will or should do.

For example, I (personally) feel human beings need to always go through a mourning period (however short or long you may feel you need) after experiencing a loss. Whether it be a break-up, a divorce, the death of someone near & dear to our heart. And for one to avoid at least a short period of feeling the grief, the anger, the disappointment of such a loss is not only unhealthy for our psyche, but it might be detrimental to the success of any future relationship we will ever get into.

Also, some of you will might think I'm wrong for suggesting this but an apology (if one is due (and let me remind you all that none of us are perfect)) and a "best wishes always" statement will do wonders for your ego. Whether you do that immediately or later on down the line depends on the situation. But I seriously think it will not only clear your consience, but it helps you avoid having your karma come back to bite you when you get into your next relationship.

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I seem to recall some study that found that men suffer MORE from a breakup than women do. Divorced men experienced a deeper sense of loss than divorced women.

And looking around at the real world, it does seem that women find it a lot easier to move on after a breakup.

I don't know if this is because they need to have a man at all times, they were less emotionally invested in the previous relationship than the man was, or both.

All I know is that anecdotal evidence of the man being in the dumps while his ex is already living it up with a new guy as if nothing happened is legion...
I disagree with the "they were less emotiomally invested" part. We all know that, in general, women are much more emotional than men.

So she might just cry her eyes out for a few days (i.e. "mourn" as I mentioned before) & be done with it in a much shorter time period

Whereas men, in general, are egotistical beast by nature. And breaking up can at times serve as a huge blow to our ego. That can contribute to our having a more difficult time getting over & moving on.

A man might need to "conquer" again (with all due respect to the women who will be "conquered"... LOL) in order for him to feel "whole" again.

Just my opinion, that's all...

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Old 03-08-2008, 10:17 AM   #39
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sum gud chit Novare
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Old 03-08-2008, 11:17 AM   #40
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Girls seems so fall in love faster, but guys always fall deeper
ouch... how true that is.

Good thread!
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