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Love Line

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Old 07-25-2008, 04:24 AM   #1
hi its me alec
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Okay, WTF. My wonderful gf went crazy.

So, here are some cliff notes of my current situation.. as short as possible:

- Dating this girl for 20 months.

- Relationship was perfect until she moved to Chicago for school 11 months ago.

- I went and saw her for 1 or 2 weekends every month for the entirety of the school year.. all seemed normal.

- Since she got back for the summer, she hasn't wanted to have sex or anything of that nature.. the last time I got any was about a month ago, more or less. I'd say we've had sex 4 or 5 times in the past 3 months. I've been patient and understanding, not forcing her into anything, trying not to pressure her into talking about it, and trying to understand wtf is going on. She started opening up and saying that sex had been physically uncomfortable for her and whatnot, so I completely understood and moved on.

- The relationship obviously got a little weird somewhere in there, with me not having any idea what was going on and her keeping her mouth shut about everything. When I'd ask "what's wrong?", she would say "nothing."

- Turned out that she had a yeast infection for that whole time (since the beginning of summer,) and didn't even tell me until a week or 2 ago.. there's the problem. I thought this was the answer to everything, she got the infection taken care of, and I thought it would all go back to normal after that.. there's no reason that it shouldn't have.

- All of a sudden, completely out of the blue, she fvcking says that we need to take a break because a.) it feels like we're ''just friends'', b.) she doesn't know what she wants, and c.) she feels like she's missing out on the single life.

- I've just been sitting here like a dumbfounded insomniac azzhole for the past few days, debating whether to end everything. I didn't see her for all of last weekend or this week, but she came over to talk yesterday and hung out with me today and smoked hookah and watched south park. Everything has seemed completely normal and fine in terms of our chemistry. She refuses to kiss me on the lips, and obviously won't do anything related to sex. She wants to remain in 'limbo' like this until the end of summer, then is planning on making a final decision about our relationship when it's time to move back to Chicago.

- Obviously, that plan is flawed and will never work anything out. Making a decision this significant based on 3 months of biatch-induced confusion (that happens to be all cleared up now) would be a pretty bonkers thing to do...

- IMO, she's getting cold feet about the seriousness (well... I guess now it would be the 'former seriousness') of our relationship and is pushing me away in any/every way she can.

- I will NOT let her string me along like this, and I will NOT tolerate any more B.S. excuses for ending our relationship. If there's a legit excuse, fine, but creating problems isn't the solution to anything.

- She disagrees with me about everything.

- Every time I see her, all I want to do is give her the biggest hug in the history of the world and then rip all of her clothes off. I am absolutely head-over-heels in love with this girl, but now I'm pretty much just disappointed in her to a point that might not even be repairable. Even though she recently trampled all over me, she still has our (my) e30 to drive, and she's even driving my car right now because the e30 has a really firm clutch and her left knee is acting up. I mean seriously, I saw Mamma Mia tonight for fvck's sake. Tomorrow, I'm going to be dumping this month's rent money into the e30 to make sure she can get to work safely over the weekend.





Am I right about anything?
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Old 07-25-2008, 04:48 AM   #2
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Am I right about anything?
Hy man - you are right about EVERYTHING!!! And I think, that when you'll do that step, the cards will change..

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Old 07-25-2008, 05:00 AM   #3
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I know you don't want to hear this, but it's time to move on. Go out and have fun while she's still "confused". If she comes back, great, if not it wasn't meant to be!
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Old 07-25-2008, 05:03 AM   #4
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I know you don't want to hear this, but it's time to move on. Go out and have fun while she's still "confused". If she comes back, great, if not it wasn't meant to be!
Why do you say that it's time to move on? It's not that simple...
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:33 AM   #5
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Why do you say that it's time to move on? It's not that simple...
What you mean it's not that simple? Do you have kids, I guess not? Do you know what led to her getting the yeast infection? If she is acting up, fine, seize the moment and start being the 'actor'!
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:34 AM   #6
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i'm usually the last one to propose this and usually always tell guys to trust their girls. but she's cheating on you... that much distance/time + no sex with you = sex with her and someone else.
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:39 AM   #7
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she's cheating on u - and wants to move on - she just doesn't want to say it to your face.

say good bye
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:40 AM   #8
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oh bro. this is ruff. I know you are really in love with this one, and we have all seen her pics.

when girls start with this I need space and making excuses not to physical with you in anyway, most times it because they have something else going on. Fing A.. I know that was not easy to read. She prolly feels guilty about something and being close to you hurts her.

Did she meet somone else at school? Sounds like it to me, but no way to know unless she tells you. Remember, she is acting based on feelings, not logic. So if she did meet someone else, she may just be afraid to tell. I hope she didn't.....
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:00 AM   #9
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she's cheating on u - and wants to move on - she just doesn't want to say it to your face.

say good bye
c'est vrai.
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:05 AM   #10
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she's cheating on u - and wants to move on - she just doesn't want to say it to your face.

say good bye
I was gonna say this, but i thought it might be too rough. Anyway, that's the first thing i thought when i read the story. It really sucks to hear, but life goes on. It's happened to most of us.
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:18 AM   #11
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Poke around http://www.loveshack.org/ some

But think seriously about breaking it off with her before she does you, and put her in no contact mode. Yes.. This is the last thing you were thinking of, but probably your best move. Do not tell her why, act strong in front of her and her friends.
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:24 AM   #12
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I just went through the same situation with my gf. Her being confused, perhaps not as committed as myself in the relationship. We went on a break that lasted a week. Now things are not perfect, and they are certainly not what they exactly used to be, but these kind of things take time. Give her her space and hopefully she will turn around. If not, move on.
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:27 AM   #13
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Sounds like she doesn't return your love for her, which blows big time. She might have just fallen out of love, or maybe something happened, who knows. Only thing you can do is try to woo her all over again (from scratch), but if shes not going to love you back maybe its not worth it? Tough call.
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:32 AM   #14
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She wants to live the single life (aka, date some other dudes in college) so it is time to break it up.

Get your car back, since you paid for it (I think you said you did at least)

Time to move on. This is typical of 99% of HS relationships and those with long distance involved, so it was inevitable. There's nothing you can do to change her mind, so you might as well get it in your head that you two are finished. Don't fool yourself and give yourself hope by thinking you might get back together. Take it from older guys here that if you are taking a break, just make it permanent. You can't force things to work.

That is about as straighforward as I can make it, so good luck bro.
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:40 AM   #15
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she's cheating on u - and wants to move on - she just doesn't want to say it to your face.

say good bye


The relationship (at least BF & GF ) is already over, you just don't realize it yet.
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:42 AM   #16
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Can we see a picture of the said girl????

Thanks


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Old 07-25-2008, 09:43 AM   #17
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she's got another dude, dude!

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Old 07-25-2008, 09:50 AM   #18
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Oh, and don't dump any money into the car to get her to work safely...only spend the money if it is being done for you...sounds harsh, but don't waste the cash on her if you don't need to. You are giving her a free ride man, not good.
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Old 07-25-2008, 11:54 AM   #19
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Dude alec,

Somethings going on back at school, there is somone.... to say the least college would be the toughest test for any relationship. Fvck man your a great b/f for letting her drive your e30 and gonna get it fixed, seeing movies, hanging out etc etc etc....Is this the same blond dancer? cause yea she was smookin hot!

It's obvious your serious about a monogamous relationship, and she has issues she needs to deal with, if there's another guy back home sucks for her, i say let her learn the hard way. US guys put up with more **** than we should NO DOUBT! Put it all out on the table, in all serious-ness and just ask "is there somone else" it will make her piss, for sure....but get the truth out now and either drop it or work it out!

Best of luck man!
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Old 07-25-2008, 11:58 AM   #20
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get your car back and move on alec, it might seem harsh and abrupt and weird for a few weeks, but you will find someone else. Why waste your time putting up with that crap. Don't wait for her to end it, she has already checked out.
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