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Old 08-15-2008, 12:26 PM   #1
Keno
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Eternal Bachelors (with adopted kids)

Can this be done? Its a path that seems enticing to me: Own my own house, focus on my career, shamelessly dump $$ on toys/investments, always enjoy good company, travel, etc.

Perhaps live out my 20's, having as much fun as I can with close friends and family members while focusing on my career. Once my career is established in my 30's, I'll perhaps adopt 2 babies and raise them.

Grow older (50's), and THEN maybe find a lady for companionship, while my kids are off to college getting their own lives started.

All the while, I won't have to worry about fighting a downhill battle towards maintaining a marriage/serious relationship during my prime years.

just some thoughts, nothing serious. What do you all think?
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Old 08-15-2008, 12:33 PM   #2
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You basically have to apply for the kids but you will most likely be at the bottom of the list with a bunch of moms and dads that can't have kids....
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Old 08-15-2008, 12:39 PM   #3
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on paper, it looks good.

I just think people have a misconception of what a relationship is. There are plenty of relationships that don't involve a downhill battle or any maintaining whatsoever. There is no reason that you should not be able to enjoy your prime years and still be in a relationship, minus random sex. As far as shamelessly spending money on toys/investments, there is no reason why that should be a huge deal as long as you're not taking money from necessities in order to do it ... and you shouldn't be anyway, since you wouldn't if you were living by yourself. And if this does pose a problem, you've found the wrong kind of girl to be with.

Furthermore, adoption is fairly pricey and once they come along, I'm sure you'll wish you had a partner to help you out with some of the tasks. Beyond that, children grow greatly from a motherly bond... and while you'll be helping out 2 children while adopting them, you'll also be depriving them of something very natural and sometimes needed.

Beyond that, I'm sure finding someone without any kind of baggage in their 50's or so would be a little hard to do and possibly frustrating if you choose to go that route. Just be reminded that there aren't going to be many 'eternal bachelorettes'

But it's your life, those are just my 2 cents and i would probably reconsider.

what a good first post, huh? nothing bmw related whatsoever haha.
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Old 08-15-2008, 12:46 PM   #4
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what a good first post, huh? nothing bmw related whatsoever haha.
Nice 1st post n00b. It was more infomative than the vast majority of 1st posts.
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:02 PM   #5
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on paper, it looks good.

I just think people have a misconception of what a relationship is. There are plenty of relationships that don't involve a downhill battle or any maintaining whatsoever. There is no reason that you should not be able to enjoy your prime years and still be in a relationship, minus random sex. As far as shamelessly spending money on toys/investments, there is no reason why that should be a huge deal as long as you're not taking money from necessities in order to do it ... and you shouldn't be anyway, since you wouldn't if you were living by yourself. And if this does pose a problem, you've found the wrong kind of girl to be with.

Furthermore, adoption is fairly pricey and once they come along, I'm sure you'll wish you had a partner to help you out with some of the tasks. Beyond that, children grow greatly from a motherly bond... and while you'll be helping out 2 children while adopting them, you'll also be depriving them of something very natural and sometimes needed.

Beyond that, I'm sure finding someone without any kind of baggage in their 50's or so would be a little hard to do and possibly frustrating if you choose to go that route. Just be reminded that there aren't going to be many 'eternal bachelorettes'

But it's your life, those are just my 2 cents and i would probably reconsider.

what a good first post, huh? nothing bmw related whatsoever haha.
LOLz, great first post. And welcome (though I'm sure you've been a lurker for some time).

Anyway, it does seem a little too focused on "keeping whats mine." But sh1t man, I'm losing faith in womenz. Seems like many just want $$ from or a guy to get fairytale loads of attention, while thinking that just their pu55y is a good enough exchange.

I hear you guys on the adoption thing though (never really researched it, just threw it out there).

Either way, I just put this out there because it seemed like the "easy way" and wanted to see if anyone has experience with it. I can definitely see finding "the one" as becoming a chore once I'm ready to settle down. But I suppose all good things are worth the trouble in life.
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:06 PM   #6
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just don't be focused on either route... don't focus on 'finding the one' or 'being an eternal bachelor' ... and just do your own thing. Eventually, you'll either be married, or a bachelor anyway so why dictate which way you're going to be?

The way I look at it, is if you force it, you're going to miss out on the latter.

on a side note, my girlfriend's brother, who I never met, just picked up an e92 m3 ... I told her to invite him over for dinner hahah
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:40 PM   #7
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i'm big into cuddling so this wouldn't work for me but to each their own i guess.
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Old 08-15-2008, 02:27 PM   #8
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Old 08-16-2008, 01:16 PM   #9
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I'm the type that believes children have to be raised by parents that have a healthy relationship.

That's why I'm afriad to get married. I don't want to raise my kids alone.

I'd love to be married young if I could find the right woman. Have kids young so I can still be young and kick my kids asses at sports, and all the other benefits of that sorta thing.
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Old 08-16-2008, 01:33 PM   #10
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..., while my kids are off to college getting their own lives started.

All the while, I won't have to worry about fighting a downhill battle towards maintaining a marriage/serious relationship during my prime years.

just some thoughts, nothing serious. What do you all think?
They are not your kids, dude! They are adopted kids!
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Old 08-17-2008, 10:11 PM   #11
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They are not your kids, dude! They are adopted kids!
sorry: "while my hypothetical adopted kids go off to college" **


I hear u guys on the "healthy relationship to raise children correctly" concept though. It's hard to think that there's a 1 in 2 chance of divorce if one gets married. Factor in the lives of your children, and it wouldn't be that great for them in that case as well (step parents are RARELY ever accepted as replacement parents).

And yes, some say take a chance and "you'll know when you found the one." But if you are deciding to have kids, then you are putting their mental development at risk as well should you have a divorce/fighting household.

Anyway, just playing devil's advocate about the marriage thing
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Old 08-17-2008, 10:13 PM   #12
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there is one problem: nobody's going to let a single guy adopt kids..
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Old 08-17-2008, 10:22 PM   #13
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there is one problem: nobody's going to let a single guy adopt kids..
Well, if the OP is not picky, he can find himself a nice infant anywhere in Africa!
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Old 09-03-2008, 08:33 AM   #14
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there is one thing that gets me through life.. W'ank W'ank money in the bank!! I reckon its a great Idea i seriously am not contemplating a relationship unless shes successful and can support her lifestyle without my wage
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Old 09-03-2008, 08:56 AM   #15
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i don't think this lifestyle would be rewarding at all. Just my 2 cents
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Old 09-03-2008, 09:08 AM   #16
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there is one problem: nobody's going to let a single guy adopt kids..
Bingo.

OP, I wouldn't try to plan everything out. Keep dating around and see what happens. You'll find the right person when you least expect it.
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Old 09-03-2008, 10:21 AM   #17
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for juts pennies a day, you too could sponsor a child in a 3rd world country! Instead of adopting, you could sponsor a whole damn village....maybe they'd erect a statue of you in your honor, would be easier and probably cheaper to donate some cash to a needy village someplace? Then you wouldn't have to put the effort into caring for the kids? Just provide the financial support.
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Old 09-03-2008, 11:16 AM   #18
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Keep that plan but be open to other opportunities and relationships.
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Old 09-03-2008, 12:48 PM   #19
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Join the revolution! Marriage is for women.

http://happybachelors.proboards102.com/index.cgi
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Old 09-03-2008, 01:38 PM   #20
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Marriage is for women.




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The lesser we know...the more they fabricate...the easier it is to sell souls
There is a new price on freedom, so buy into it while supplies last.
We've unified over who to kill, so until I find more relevant scripture to quote...
remember, our god is bigger, stronger, smarter, and much wealthier.
So wave those flags with pride... It's the makeshift patriot.
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