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Love Line

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Old 09-02-2008, 09:43 AM   #1
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Would you be with a girl your parents didn't accept?

I'm hindu dating a girl that is outside of my race. My parents don't really have a problem with it, because they know, growing up in America, interracial relationships in hindus are becoming more and more common.

However, I'm dating this girl that is 6 years older than me and previously married. My parents don't really like that situation. She's a great person, has a great heart, very very intelligent, motivated, and much much more.

I just feel at times, my parents bought me into this world, scarified so much for me and the one thing they really want - I'm not giving it to them. I feel selfish, but at the same time I really love this person.


Edit: We've been dating for 2.5 years already
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Old 09-02-2008, 09:54 AM   #2
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I'm a fellow desi and I've dated nothing but girls outside of our race. I'm American born bro, and even I've come to realize that when you age, you'll want someone from our race. Toh soch tora yaar, who's going to make you indian food, sit down with you in a pooja, go to the Mandir, watch Indian movies! Lol. You'll miss all of that if you guys get married and regardless of what you want for right now, it wouldn't be worth it down the road. And of course being indian you know how our women gossip, they'll talk sh!t abuot her everywhere you guys go, even if you don't know it. I dated an Afghan girl and wanted to marry her so bad, but her parents had married her off. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't want to be with her anyways, not because I don't love her anymore, but because I like the fact that I'll be marrying someone within our race. Our religion is one of the oldest and wisest in the world bro, don't break your race througout the thousands of years. GL, hope this helps.
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Old 09-02-2008, 06:33 PM   #3
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I'm hindu dating a girl that is outside of my race. My parents don't really have a problem with it, because they know, growing up in America, interracial relationships in hindus are becoming more and more common.

However, I'm dating this girl that is 6 years older than me and previously married. My parents don't really like that situation. She's a great person, has a great heart, very very intelligent, motivated, and much much more.

I just feel at times, my parents bought me into this world, scarified so much for me and the one thing they really want - I'm not giving it to them. I feel selfish, but at the same time I really love this person.


Edit: We've been dating for 2.5 years already
do your parents know her well? does she know how your parents feel about her? because although your parents sacrificed a lot for you, if she knew your parents didnt approve of her but stuck with you for 2.5 years so far, thats a pretty big commitment. it sucks knowing that your s/o's parents doesn't approve of their son's decisions. =X just know that if you really love her, you don't want to break her heart. your parents might disapprove of it, but hopefully they'll support you no matter what since they are your parents
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Old 09-02-2008, 07:13 PM   #4
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Old 09-02-2008, 07:44 PM   #5
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how old are you?
23
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Old 09-02-2008, 08:53 PM   #6
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23's pretty young to get married, especially in the race. dating someone outside your race is fine, but marrying one is hard. you think shes up for the change?

my cousin dated someone out of her race, she introduced the guy to her family and so on.. the guy just freaked out, it's not easy adjusting to another culture man.. it may seem easy but once you're married, everything changes. listen to what EAZY46 said
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Old 09-02-2008, 10:29 PM   #7
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Old 09-03-2008, 08:19 AM   #8
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I come from a Place in Australia called Woolgoolga and it has one of the highest sikh populations besides india now i know this doesnt apply so effectly to your religion itself but the message is the same. Now i grew up and was friends with alot of sikh kids that married outside there religion and race and while love defeats all in my opinion you should also perhaps look out for your current group situations ie friends and the like. if you are a big with religion and follow it actively how will effect these circles? because I know i now have alot of indian friends that i guess due to this outer marriage have kind of been shunned in the community and are not accepted or tolerated as this is seen wrong in some of the sikh peoples eyes due to there religious beliefs and race this can cause rifts. Now im not an expert on Hinduism to compare it to this but this is just some fuel for thought
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Old 09-03-2008, 08:28 AM   #9
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family > girl

I think not following this could lead to a ton of issues I would just never want to live with. After all, what if girl leaves you down the road? You have NOTHING. You can always find another girl.
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Old 09-03-2008, 02:14 PM   #10
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family > girl

I think not following this could lead to a ton of issues I would just never want to live with. After all, what if girl leaves you down the road? You have NOTHING. You can always find another girl.
Agree with part 1 but disagree with part 2.

Family is more important then a girl but he has been dating her for over 2 years and obviously loves her. If the family shuns him because of the type of girl he dates then what kind of family is that? I would run off with a girl I truely loved and wanted to marry and start an independant life... anyone who has nothing besides family to fall back on is WAY too dependent on them and needs to branch off. If you always want to be just OK then marry a nice hindu girl that your parents approve of but will never stack up to your former love, have 10 kids, and do everything you are "supposed" to do because your parents said so... then your kids can do the same and you can die knowing that you led your life the way someone else wanted you to.
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Old 09-04-2008, 06:18 PM   #11
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damn, lots of brown crowd in here.... lol

i don't think his family will disown him if he does persist with wanting to be with this girl forever. They're obviously not of the old-school mentality - they've been okay with him dating her and if they've been together for so long - they should have realized by now that there was always a possibility of them ending up together. You can't always find another girl so easily, as chase tried to suggest. Finding true love is not easy.

Everybody has a different take on it - I don't know about the OP - but if you believe in 'soul mates', and if you truly think you've found yours, you won't find another. Sure your family may be PO'd for a while and maybe never truly accept your 'wife' into the family, but you are still you - you are still their son, and the love will be unconditional. The family will warm up to the 'outsider wife' if she can adjust to them too.

like sikhd said - it's a hard culture to adapt to though - just make sure she's ready for the challenge.
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Old 09-04-2008, 06:19 PM   #12
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been there done that. it's your relationship not your parents.
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Old 09-04-2008, 07:23 PM   #13
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This reminds me of that ill-fated romance between the young guy and the older woman in Dil Chata Hai. You should watch that sometime.
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Old 09-04-2008, 07:25 PM   #14
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Quote:
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This reminds me of that ill-fated romance between the young guy and the older woman in Dil Chata Hai. You should watch that sometime.
i thought that was Hari Puttar
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Old 09-04-2008, 07:27 PM   #15
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i thought that was Hari Puttar
No.
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Old 09-07-2008, 12:54 PM   #16
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I respect my parents.. but they don't have a place saying anything when it comes to who I date. If they ever said something i'd probably just laugh it off. They know i'm a smart guy and would pick someone great.
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