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Go Back   E46Fanatics > Everything Else > The Off-Topic > Love Line

Love Line

View Poll Results: Is it possible?
Yes 34 73.91%
No 12 26.09%
Voters: 46. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-14-2008, 12:28 PM   #1
02ci
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Question Is is possible........

Is is possible for a man to be cheating on his wife of 4 years (been toghether 10 years) for over a year with someone else and it's just only about sex? I am trying to figue it out. My answer is NO. But i want to see what you guys think.
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Old 10-14-2008, 12:38 PM   #2
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anything is possible
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Old 10-14-2008, 01:38 PM   #3
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anything is possible
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Old 10-14-2008, 01:40 PM   #4
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ok i get that that question is generic. But what i guess i should have said was do you think that a man can be in a long relationship and tell his wife he loves her and still cheat on someone for over a year and have no attachment to her other then sex?
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Old 10-14-2008, 02:39 PM   #5
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sucking ain't f*cking and eatin ain't cheatin
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Old 10-14-2008, 02:47 PM   #6
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sucking ain't f*cking and eatin ain't cheatin
I am talking about hitting it raw. For over a year and comming home to a wife and two kids.
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Old 10-14-2008, 03:02 PM   #7
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I'm assuming this other person is a woman.....are you paying for the sex?
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Old 10-14-2008, 03:21 PM   #8
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I am the wife and my husband was cheating on me for over a year with someone he works with. He clames that it was only sex and he had no feeling for her. I just cant emagine that, that is even possible. So i am asking to see what people say. He wasnt paying for it. He i guess just felt the need to go to her and still get some at home as well.
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Old 10-14-2008, 04:00 PM   #9
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Although I am not sure if this "poll" is the right way to handle this, I can't wait to see how others will respond....
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Old 10-14-2008, 04:02 PM   #10
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does he need a lawyer?, btw, any girl that messes with a married guy should be hung by her ****
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"Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce now because wasp9166 had to piitb with Mom."

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Old 10-14-2008, 04:10 PM   #11
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i've had friends that tell me that they love their significant other, but will mess around with other women (no kissing, pure sex). That their is no emotions involved.
So is it possible, yes.
Is his doing right, no.
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Old 10-14-2008, 04:27 PM   #12
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does he need a lawyer?, btw, any girl that messes with a married guy should be hung by her ****
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disclaimer, is only valid if you are a lawyer
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Old 10-14-2008, 04:29 PM   #13
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on a more serious note, everyone is different

i myself could never have sex with someone if i don't have feelings for them, regardless if i am single or not....
so for me, not its not possible

but there are people out there that see things strictly physical, nothing more nothing less
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Old 10-14-2008, 04:51 PM   #14
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Although I am not sure if this "poll" is the right way to handle this, I can't wait to see how others will respond....
By no means am i expecting this poll to resolve any issue with my personal life.
I am just curious to know how a guy thinks With that being said No i dont think that all guys think this way. I am just trying to understand things better. We are trying to work things out in out relationship. Do i have trust issues now....Yes.But i am willing to try and see where they take us. And if things dont work out, then i can at least say i tried to make things work. Things are still hard for me to understand. I dont think i am a bad looking person. And, for having two kids i think i have held up ok. So i just cant wrap my mind around why it was done for over a year. And why he says that it was just sex with no feelings attached.
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Old 10-14-2008, 04:52 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by 02ci View Post
Is is possible for a man to be cheating on his wife of 4 years (been toghether 10 years) for over a year with someone else and it's just only about sex? I am trying to figue it out. My answer is NO. But i want to see what you guys think.
Yes, it is possible.

Personally, I would develop feelings for a woman if I slept with her for a year, but there are some men who can treat women like dirt and who thus might not develop such feelings.

It also depends on how his relationship was going with you. I am not accusing you nor making you wrong, but I find (generalization here) that American women have a nasty habit of just not caring what their men want.

A relationship is a two-way street, as far as I'm concerned. It's not just about what the woman wants. Men actually have feelings and wants and needs, and when those are not being met in their marriage, they have a tendency to fulfill those needs elsewhere.

While men and women both have the same basic needs, the two sexes tend to prioritize them differently. From "His Needs, Her Needs":

For women, the top five in order are:
  1. Communication
  2. Honesty and Openness
  3. Affection
  4. Financial Support
  5. Family

For men, the top five in order are:
  1. Sex
  2. Companionship
  3. Attractive Spouse
  4. Domestic Support
  5. Admiration

Please note that a woman's #1 need does not even appear in the man's top 5, and a man's #1 need does not even appear in the woman's top 5.

As I tell my male friends: your woman needs you to talk to her and listen to her. I don't care if YOU don't like it; that's what SHE needs and wants, and it's part of your job to make her happy.

And, as I tell my female friends: you man needs sex. I don't care if YOU don't think it's that important; that's what HE needs and wants, and it's part of your job to make him happy.

Finally, one of the biggest mistakes (IMO) that women make is to put their husband's needs and wants at the bottom of the list after giving birth to a child. Yes, I understand that a child is a special kind of love. But the man married the woman with the implicit understanding that he would always be #1 on her list, and she would be #1 on his. After all, once the kids grow up and move out, there the two will be alone. So, when women focus all their attention on the child or children, and there's nothing left over for the husband, he feels cheated and betrayed, rightly so. That is NOT what he signed up for.

So, did any of these apply? That might explain his affair. Or what I'm saying has no relevance at all, and he's a pig.

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Old 10-14-2008, 05:13 PM   #16
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I totally understand what you are saying. Part of it is true. Maybe i should have been giving him more sex, But he as my husband should know that he didnt marry a rabit. I am a hispanic, wonderful and understanding woman. I have supported all his decisions even if that ment i didnt necessarily agree. I have helped him build motors, go to car shows, run all his around, wait on him hand and foot. He didnt want to take me anywhere. Dont get me wrong we have had some things in common that we both love doing and there have been some things that we both would prefer to do seperate.
But he has and had it made. He was never held down to do anything that he didnt want to do. With that being said, maybe thats where i was wrong. Maybe i gave him to much and he thought oh well let me just keep taking. Who knows? Only time will tell where the two of us stand!
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Old 10-14-2008, 05:15 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 02ci View Post
I am the wife and my husband was cheating on me for over a year with someone he works with. He clames that it was only sex and he had no feeling for her. I just cant emagine that, that is even possible. So i am asking to see what people say. He wasnt paying for it. He i guess just felt the need to go to her and still get some at home as well.
Its very possible.

Ive never cheated on my gf, but there are many women out there that I am sexually attracted to, even though they have some of the most vile and cantankerous personalities you can imagine. If I were to have sex with said women, I feel that I would have to make a run for the door the minute the sex was over. So yes, it is possible to have sex with someone and not have feelings for them. Were you holding out on him? Maybe he was just solely taken in by her because she had a desire to have sex with him nsa, while maybe with you he was sexually frustrated and wasn't getting what he wants, or he was getting it at the cost of much deliberation and stressful effort.

It always scares me how people always say that you stop having sex when your married. When my gf and I go for any more than a week without sex we become unpleasant. You can see it in our faces, the smallest little things piss us off so bad and we fight over really stupid issues that we normally wouldn't bat an eye at. A balance is thrown off. I feel neglected ignored, even though its not always her fault we can't have sex (her period, work, a trip). Not trying to sound shallow but we are both just generally happier people when were both getting some.
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Either pursue her and risk getting Mono, or don't pursue her,...stay home and use your Mano.

It's either Mono or Mano .... You decide
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Old 10-14-2008, 05:22 PM   #18
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Yes to an extent i may not have been having sex with him as much as he wanted to but i was really trying to make an effort to do it more. It wasnt that i was not attracted to him because i was and still am. It was both of our schedules. He works 12 hour shifts and i on the other hand am left do deal with everything else. The last time he slept with her was 2 weeks ago. The week prior to that we had sex three days straight in a row. The week he cheated i was on my cycle (sorry i know some of you didnt want to hear that) so we didnt do anything.
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Old 10-14-2008, 05:29 PM   #19
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Yes to an extent i may not have been having sex with him as much as he wanted to but i was really trying to make an effort to do it more. It wasnt that i was not attracted to him because i was and still am. It was both of our schedules. He works 12 hour shifts and i on the other hand am left do deal with everything else. The last time he slept with her was 2 weeks ago. The week prior to that we had sex three days straight in a row. The week he cheated i was on my cycle (sorry i know some of you didnt want to hear that) so we didnt do anything.
If it was because of his schedule then how did he find time to bone the other chick with 12 hours under his wing? I don't think thats it.


One thing that really frustrates me about my gf and her period is that she isn't down for ANYTHING during that week. Like no bjs, none of that good sh1t. Not even a handjob.

So then i'm left to put up with her sh1tty ass pms attitude and I also got blue balls to boot. I'm not sure if that really applies to your situation, but thats one of the times during our relationship that I feel the most sexually neglected and frustrated.
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Either pursue her and risk getting Mono, or don't pursue her,...stay home and use your Mano.

It's either Mono or Mano .... You decide
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Old 10-14-2008, 05:31 PM   #20
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And you don't have to answer this if you don't want, but how exactly did you catch him? How did he react to being caught? Do you know the other chick?
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Either pursue her and risk getting Mono, or don't pursue her,...stay home and use your Mano.

It's either Mono or Mano .... You decide
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