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Old 10-29-2008, 09:21 AM   #1
wheaton
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HELP with BS* Guys do you let your girl friend hang out or meet with a old friend?

Im just wondering if you would be like this, or if you think this is acceptable.



My gf and i have been each other for about almost 3years,,, She told me out of no where that a old friend emailed here and that he will be (might) be in town(lives in NJ) he want to meet up with her. She tells me that she want to meet up with him to and that she is going to. Then she like well what do you think can i go or not. She tells me that they where good friends before i came in the pic. and that they where just only good friends. She is like i just want to be honest and not lie to you. I asked if its a ex bf. she said no... but im having a hard time believing that. anyways. I said that i want to go then she is like well if your friend was in town i would not want to be there lisening to what ever it is that you guys had to talk about. (so kinda meaning that she don't want me there??)

Do you think i should just be ok with it that she should meet up for coffee or whatever. Should i just be ok??? She know im very upset and that i have not done this **** that she is trying to do. She tells me that she would let me hang out and meet an old friend of mine,if they where to be in town too,, but i know she is only saying that cuz she wants me to be ok with here going out and meeting this freaken guy.(girls always do this)

In your views what do you think, that its right or that is worng?



I just think that we should not hid are friends and i would like to meet the guy and i would like to be there(it don't seem like she likes that idea). or at least meat him stay for 5mins then just leave and let them talk or whatever. (even though i just want to punch the guy and not meet him , but more of just making the presens is the gole and see whats he is about)



.....i have really pushed some of my female friends that i had for a very long time, just for this gf, cuz i know that would give me problems and i new that she would not like that but now she is trying to do this **** to me.(first time telling me this ****)



I mean i don't want to be conttrolling but at the same time i feel like ****, that she even wants to go see this ****er. and the fact that she seem like if she has a problem it if i was to go meet thins guy. I just don't think we should hid are friends from each other. I don't know what to do? I know she loves me.. Im happy that she told me and that she did not try hidding it. but still



Im just getting depressed this sucks.

Guys do you think or maybe you guys hare going though it or have in the past happend to you. Do you leat your gf that you love very much.. just let here meet an old friend( when youh ave not heard anything about this person before, even if you did) would you let them go meet??? for coffee or whetever

Girls do you think its ok for ur bf to let you go meet up with your good friend(dude) when your letting him know and being honest about it and not hiding it from him and has showed him that you love him. or if you would let your bf go out and have your bf meet an old female friend of his for coffee.

Im so lost, i have been contolling in the past where i really don't like the gf seeing or meeting up with old friends i know that can be bad too, so trying to learn from that but its really hard.

Hope everyone can voice there thoughts
Thank you
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Old 10-29-2008, 09:35 AM   #2
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i wouldn't worry about it too much. The more you worry about it the worse it looks for you. I used to care back in the day if my gf wanted to go see old guy friends or what not. Now i could care less if she is gonna cheat on you she is going to do it reguardless so what does it matter anyways. And if she is gonna cheat on you, you do not need a girl like that in your life. I would just play it cool and see what happens. Good luck and relax.
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Old 10-29-2008, 10:31 AM   #3
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Well i guess your right, either way don't think its posible to deture someone if there going to cheat or be bogus behind your back, i guess.. Im not even trying to deture that cuz i might just make it more bad.. either way if a girl is going to do something she will end up doing it bahind your back.
Question when you say "Now i could care less if she is gonna cheat on you she is going to do it reguardless so what does it matter anyways" car less.. meaning you still love her but try not to let it bother you because if she will do something bad reguardless if you make a big deal about it.

"I would just play it cool and see what happens. Good luck and relax."
Thanks i think i need to do this just play it cool... its not going to get me anywhere if i make a big deal about it.

Its just so hard to relax sometime...
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Old 10-29-2008, 10:37 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by bimmerboi19 View Post
i wouldn't worry about it too much. The more you worry about it the worse it looks for you. I used to care back in the day if my gf wanted to go see old guy friends or what not. Now i could care less if she is gonna cheat on you she is going to do it reguardless so what does it matter anyways. And if she is gonna cheat on you, you do not need a girl like that in your life.
+1 but I still wouldn't let my chick go. Shouldn't be that big of a deal to her if they were just friends. WTF does she need to see him that bad for? Say NO and see what happens. If she gives you sh1t for it and gets all bent outta shape, let her go and u pull the same sh1t on her in a few weeks with 1 of your old "friends" and see what she says!
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Old 10-29-2008, 10:53 AM   #5
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"let her go and u pull the same sh1t on her in a few weeks with 1 of your old "friends" and see what she says!"

I know she would not like it, she told me she would not like it but that she would let me know,.. but i think its bs since girls always say **** like that then when it goes down its not like that. Good idea thought i think i will do that 1+ but at the same time, i don't want this to go back and forth i do this you do that thing. even though it might be nessasary .. i might do it.


So far two views
, 1. don't worry about it cuz no matter what they will always get there way and if they don't then they will behind your back. reguardless of if you say yes or no .. always lose .lose with a girl you love. Only win with girl that you don't love, that how the pattern seems to work at times.

2. "say no and see what she says if sh1t for it and gets all bent outta shape" i dident even say no, just by not give here an answer she started saying well i want this to work and i don't think that bf gf should revolve around them... and that its just a friend from before i came in the pic and that she is being honest and that she is not planning on ****ing up the relationship cuz if she was to she would have done it a long time ago. bla bla bla that she don't want to lie to me and want to have a healty serious relationship and not hid anything from me.
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Old 10-29-2008, 12:08 PM   #6
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3 points.

1- You either trust her or you don't. I would never be with someone I could not trust.

2 - She told you about him, she could have kept it hidden and had coffee or whatever.

3 - If you try to put your foot down, you will look insecure and she will resent it. This results in her not telling you the next time she wants to do something similar (or worse.)

JMHO
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Old 10-29-2008, 12:52 PM   #7
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my boyfriend wouldn't say no to me hanging out with an old guy friend, and i wouldn't say no to him meeting an old female friend either. its a good thing she actually straight up told you about it. like the psot above mine, she couldve easily just hid it from you & did her own thing. that being said, she should still be willing to compromise with you if youre this uncomfortable about it...maybe suggest that you at least drop her off when she goes to meet him to make sure everythings alright?
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Old 10-29-2008, 01:03 PM   #8
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Old 10-29-2008, 01:43 PM   #9
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atleast she told u, let her go
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Old 10-29-2008, 02:06 PM   #10
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Most people have told me that to let it be that it can't be stoped, but to try to meet the friend or just to have more faith in the persons honesty and say that its alright to go. but if it starts getting out of hand thats another thing. That inorder to get respect you must give it too. by here going and not letting me meet him and being ok with it, is showing me no respect.

and also this
I understand you would like to be there with them, but she doesn't seem him in a while, it would be an unconfortable situation if she appears there with you. It would look like you were a guard dog and you didn't trust your girfriend. Remember trust is the base of any kind of relationship. Give this chance for both of you guys, think about the way she feels towards you and the way you feel towards her. Don't let a freaky jelousy destroy what you guys have together, because I'm sure your lack of trust now will turn against you in the future.
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Old 10-29-2008, 02:16 PM   #11
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tell her that u rather she didn't go b/c then you're gonna feel insecure and u don't think that bf gf should revolve around that... U gotta flip that girl talk around and back on her!!
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Old 10-29-2008, 04:34 PM   #12
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tell her that u rather she didn't go b/c then you're gonna feel insecure and u don't think that bf gf should revolve around that... U gotta flip that girl talk around and back on her!!
Thats when she will say we are in a serious relationship im not going to be with someone who is insecure about me. bla bla.. then what?
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Old 10-29-2008, 04:43 PM   #13
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dude.. it's ok that she going to see the guy,
but something is up if she doesn't want you to be there.. seriously...

are you ugly or something? She must be embarassed. ...
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Old 10-29-2008, 04:50 PM   #14
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my boyfriend wouldn't say no to me hanging out with an old guy friend, and i wouldn't say no to him meeting an old female friend either. its a good thing she actually straight up told you about it. like the psot above mine, she couldve easily just hid it from you & did her own thing. that being said, she should still be willing to compromise with you if youre this uncomfortable about it...maybe suggest that you at least drop her off when she goes to meet him to make sure everythings alright?
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt...wrong! Eventho you may get points for telling the truth GUYS NEVER WANNA KNOW that u wanna go hang out or meet up with some other guy from your past...so u actually loose more points than u gain. Fvck that other dude. I don't know him, don't care to know him, and hope u never introduce me to this fawker! Why would u wanna re-meet this guy if you haven't spoken to/seen him in 3 years? Why is this the 1st time I'm hearing about him if he was such a close friend that u need to go on a date...I mean go "catch up" with him? Thats just the real deal no matter what guys on here say about this situation. U gotta put yourself into the ops shoes instead of just sayin "well if my girl did that bla bla bla..." It BS and I'd call her on it. Or she can feel free to invite him to the house and he can catch up with her there! NO GOOD WILL COME FROM THIS SITUATION EITHER WAY! Next time she should just say nothing at all, go do her thing, and hope not to get caught like guys do it

And no real man would go drop off his chick with another dude to meet him and then leave her there with him...By the time u get 1/4 mile down the road you'd be fighting yourself not to turn around and snatch her back up!

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Old 10-29-2008, 04:53 PM   #15
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dude.. it's ok that she going to see the guy,
but something is up if she doesn't want you to be there.. seriously...

are you ugly or something? She must be embarassed. ...

NO im not embarassing, and not ugly... your right that could be true, or it could be that it will be to of Uncomfortable and would just not want me there IDK? ... but im going to try to meet the sucker! see what she says.

I mean she could have not told me anything and done it anyways.. relationships are so confusing... going nuts..
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Old 10-29-2008, 04:53 PM   #16
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Nothing wrong with her wanting to see an old friend, but there's something very wrong with her not wanting you there.
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Old 10-29-2008, 04:59 PM   #17
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bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt...wrong! Eventho you may get points for telling the truth GUYS NEVER WANNA KNOW that u wanna go hang out or meet up with some other guy from your past...so u actually loose more points than u gain. Fvck that other dude. I don't know him, don't care to know him, and hope u never introduce me to this fawker! Why would u wanna re-meet this guy if you haven't spoken to/seen him in 3 years? Why is this the 1st time I'm hearing about him if he was such a close friend that u need to go on a date...I mean go "catch up" with him? Thats just the real deal no matter what guys on here say about this situation. U gotta put yourself into the ops shoes instead of just sayin "well if my girl did that bla bla bla..." It BS and I'd call her on it. Or she can feel free to invite him to the house and he can catch up with her there! NO GOOD WILL COME FROM THIS SITUATION EITHER WAY! Next time she should just say nothing at all, go do her thing, and hope not to get caught like guys do it

And no real man would go drop off his chick with another dude to meet him and then leave her there with him...By the time u get 1/4 mile down the road you'd be fighting yourself not to turn around and snatch her back up!
Just like your thinking that how i was thinking at first. untille she like i don't want to be in a serious relationship with someone who is controlling. so purtty much put are relationship on the line... Then she like i don't even know if he is comeing 100% bla but if he does i think it should be ok if we are in a serious relatinship and im not hidding anything or lieing to you.. I was mad but i know that if i get to mad i might end this relationship for something so stupid.. but man i know what your saying ,,, but every girl i talk to and some guys like on here say just to have faith/trust in here to let here go. even though man that gets me so depressed and mad. She has never done this well that i know off. but she is being honest.. damn so confusing
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:25 PM   #18
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i wouldn't worry about it too much. The more you worry about it the worse it looks for you. I used to care back in the day if my gf wanted to go see old guy friends or what not. Now i could care less if she is gonna cheat on you she is going to do it reguardless so what does it matter anyways. And if she is gonna cheat on you, you do not need a girl like that in your life. I would just play it cool and see what happens. Good luck and relax.
X 2. Don't worry yourself to death over it bro. Just Let her go. If she's going to do something then she will do something. You can't control that. As Bimmerboi said, if she does do something then you don't need her in your life. I myself was caught in a situation like this about 10 yrs. ago and it turned for the worse. She left me for the OLD Friend and called me about 6 months later saying that she made a mistake. Long story short..I became a much stronger person for it.
Don't Worry yourself....No sense in trying to control something that you have no control over.
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Old 10-29-2008, 05:33 PM   #19
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i'd let her, she never would though... she would never let me, but i would anyways.
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Old 10-30-2008, 07:47 AM   #20
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Thanks for all your comments you all, they where all a big help.
I'm not stopping here from going. Also i asked if i could go, she said well its not 100% that he is comeing and im only going to see him one time if he does come and that she might not see him ever again( sucker lives in a different state). If i have time and he has time then im going if not then she said its not a big deal. Then she explaind that if she goes and see him its just this one time, that maybe if he was to movie back to IL or whatever that then she would want me to meet him. but since she has not seen him in like 4 years that she don't think its a big deal that i should see him unless he was moving here or something. That its just going to be one time and she don't know if she will ever see him again.

Said that im going to just say alright,.. when she first asked me i said alright,.. but after words is when i started thinking right away and i was acting weir because deep down it bothers the hell out of me. I don't want to F*** up a relationship over something that i might make up in my mind. After she explained herself a little more the next day i feel a little better. But i asked here that if she could do the same and said yea i would try and yea i would. So i don't know if il be doing the same thing as here...But if it does happen to me i would hope that she would be ok with it since she wanted me to be ok with it.

I know by past relationships when i have said no, then that had an effet on the girl and was happy to be with me but i guess not to the fullest,me saying no did not mess up the relationship ...brok up in good terms and one thing she said after we brok up is that she wished i had been a little more understanding... Even though that was not a reason for are brake up...she still let me know that she was happy but that if i would have been more understading that she would have been happyer.. so im trying to learn from my past...and the majority of votes said it should be ok. Unless there is some other facter that is bogus like it if was an ex or some **** like that.



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