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Old 10-31-2008, 02:45 PM   #1
OrisuE46
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Things are complicated...what to do??

this girl and i were dating for 9+months and we recently broke up maybe 3 weeks ago. it was a great 9 months for the most part...besides the fights...i dont want to bash in anyways but she had some issues...with trust and insecurity. it showed a lot when we would fight over me talkin to other girls. i dont think it was so much about other girls but it was the fact that they were not her friend so she didnt like other girls talkin to me really. she judges everything before she knows facts. especially when it comes to ppl...i dont think ive ever heard anyone talk so much **** about other ppl lol. even me...

but i still loved her. she was more than a girlfriend to me...she was my bestfriend for like a year before we started dating. maybe that wasnt a good idea. in the last month of our relationship it was hell...she was away at school...and im here. she would call me almost everyday crying about how she hates it there and how she wants to go home.

i think i was a damn good boyfriend to her...i was always there for her...i went to visit her the first weekend she was at school so she wouldnt be lonely. and the whole weekend i was treated like ****, i even slept on the floor one night...and that attitude continued through out the next couple weeks...it was just her making me feel like **** for going out with my friends...hanging out with her friends and what not. so i decide to end things one night when she called me pissed off cuz i was going to HER friends bday party...ever since then we've been broken up.


ok here is where it gets complicated...this girl i used to talk to back in the beginning of high school starts hangin out with me again. shes been my best friend since ive known her, she recently broke up with her bf around the same time as i ended things with my gf. we've always had a thing and i told her that my feeling were coming back for her and she felt the same...so the other night shes at my house watchin tv. its gettin late around like 12 so i say "its late i need to get up in the morning for work...did you wanna stay here tonight?" she thinks about it and says ok...we end up having sex and i didnt go to sleep till like 3 and had to get up at 5. sucked!.

now in the mean time im still tryin to get some closure with my now "ex" gf. do you think i was in the wrong to sleep with someone soo soon even though technically we're broken up? and do you think its too soon to try and jump into another relationship because i think i would for this girl. but shes not ready for one...i just dont know if it was a good choice to sleep with her since we're so close. i dont want to ruin a friendship but shes so sexy and ive liked her for yearsss! do you think i should tell my ex? i know i'd be mad if she slept with someone else already...but its not like it was a random rebound.
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Old 10-31-2008, 02:52 PM   #2
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past rel can screw up a new one, believe me i know, on both sides..........some girls just dont know a good guy when they have it, they treat guys like **** and its a hard habit for them to break,................if you decide to tell her, its gonna get worse, but, you have to go thru the darkness to see the dawn..........dont feel bad for sleeping with her, it may end up being a way better rel than you had b4, if you like her as a friend, make sure your not using her to get over your ex..........
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Old 10-31-2008, 03:08 PM   #3
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past rel can screw up a new one, believe me i know, on both sides..........some girls just dont know a good guy when they have it, they treat guys like **** and its a hard habit for them to break,................if you decide to tell her, its gonna get worse, but, you have to go thru the darkness to see the dawn..........dont feel bad for sleeping with her, it may end up being a way better rel than you had b4, if you like her as a friend, make sure your not using her to get over your ex..........
im not at all tryin to use her to get over my ex...it was just a unexpected night...i didnt think we would have sex for awhile at least. but then again ive waited for years to be with her cuz she had a bf for like 2yrs. and for some reason we both ended our relationships around the same time...im just confused...cuz i feel like i tried hard to make things work with my ex...and she didnt appreciate it. but i love her and i know thats not enough to make a relationship work. i can see me and her gettin back together in the future if she changes...right now the friend i slept with is on the same page as me...i like her a lot but for some reason i think she might take her ex bf back...just because i know how she is...fcuk i hate girls!
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Old 10-31-2008, 03:47 PM   #4
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you say that now, but you may never get back with her, i broke up with a girl of 15 yrs, i love her like a family member, but the rel feelings are gone, i dont know where they went but, thats life.......just cant make things reappear, they are there or they arent...............you watch, once she sees your with somone else shell be all nice as pie to you..........might be time to just move on bud....................it saddens me that you have to do things like this to people you spent part of your life with, but, sometimes its what has to be done
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Old 10-31-2008, 07:15 PM   #5
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1) don't tell your super-jealous ex. You dumped her, for good reasons, and there's no reason for her to know. From the sound of your ex, she'll take it badly anyways and you'll hurt her more.

2) as long as the friend you nailed is fine with it, don't worry about it! If she isn't ready for a new relationship, give her space and don't push her. You could mess up a long-term friendship if you do. Most guys on here will call this , but my female friends are VERY important to me. Risking a close friendship isn't something I would do unless your BOTH willing to get into a relationship. If your both fine with the one-nighter, and she isn't ready to jump into another relationship, leave it at that for now.

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Old 11-01-2008, 04:43 AM   #6
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^ +1

no need to tell girl one (atleast at this stage)... officially you were not together and free to do what you please. maybe girl 2 is the better catch... see where it goes.

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Old 11-01-2008, 02:25 PM   #7
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sounds like you have your foot in the door (with options) -- why the rush?
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Old 11-01-2008, 02:48 PM   #8
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no offense, and im going to be straight up with you, you sound a bit like a push over, your girlfriend for 9 months did not trust you, picked fights with you for stupid reasons, made you sleep on the floor, made you feel like **** for doing things that are not bad, and from what i can tell, does not appreciate you at all if you treated her as well as you say you did and she still treated you that way...

sounds like you were just attached to her for a reason that maybe a bit superficial, and NOT whats most important like the way you two felt about each other or made each other feel... or even mutual appreciation.

honestly, youve got the hardest part out of the way, you were able to walk away from a failing relationship, you recognized the signs, and realized that you needed to walk away before it got any worse, which is what 90% of these poor saps out there fail to do. DO NOT GO BACK, going back to her would open the door up for history to repeat itself, you managed to walk away, now keep on walking.

when life closes one door, it will always open up another one, a better one, you might not realize its a better one immediately, but in time you will definitely see that she is better than your previous gf, and at that point you wont even care about your ex anymore.

as far as telling her, take the douche bag approach, ..."you dont owe her ****!" .... you have no reason to tell her, focus on YOU instead of thinking so much about the responsibilities you still have to your ex, because at this point they are non existant. keep hanging out with her friends, see the new girl, and before long your ex will be a thing of the past, think to yourself of all the BS she put you through, and then allow yourself to see how much happier you are with your new girl, you will get over her in a snap, and it works like a charm.

good luck man
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Old 11-01-2008, 04:17 PM   #9
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Old 11-01-2008, 04:32 PM   #10
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are these qualities of someone you admire? (serious)
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Old 11-03-2008, 09:03 AM   #11
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you're allright...
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Old 11-03-2008, 04:43 PM   #12
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^ +1

no need to tell girl one (atleast at this stage)... officially you were not together and free to do what you please. maybe girl 2 is the better catch... see where it goes.

yeah true...im not gonna say anything. girl 2 is great but ever since we slept together shes been kinda stand-off-ish...which makes me think shes still hookin up with her ex....i like things to be clear...out in the open...i like to know where i stand with someone i want to be with.

ill post pics later...
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sounds like you have your foot in the door (with options) -- why the rush?
yeah i do. i just think if i dont jump on this i wont have the opportunity again.



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Originally Posted by Novare330 View Post
no offense, and im going to be straight up with you, you sound a bit like a push over, your girlfriend for 9 months did not trust you, picked fights with you for stupid reasons, made you sleep on the floor, made you feel like **** for doing things that are not bad, and from what i can tell, does not appreciate you at all if you treated her as well as you say you did and she still treated you that way...

sounds like you were just attached to her for a reason that maybe a bit superficial, and NOT whats most important like the way you two felt about each other or made each other feel... or even mutual appreciation.

honestly, youve got the hardest part out of the way, you were able to walk away from a failing relationship, you recognized the signs, and realized that you needed to walk away before it got any worse, which is what 90% of these poor saps out there fail to do. DO NOT GO BACK, going back to her would open the door up for history to repeat itself, you managed to walk away, now keep on walking.

when life closes one door, it will always open up another one, a better one, you might not realize its a better one immediately, but in time you will definitely see that she is better than your previous gf, and at that point you wont even care about your ex anymore.

as far as telling her, take the douche bag approach, ..."you dont owe her ****!" .... you have no reason to tell her, focus on YOU instead of thinking so much about the responsibilities you still have to your ex, because at this point they are non existant. keep hanging out with her friends, see the new girl, and before long your ex will be a thing of the past, think to yourself of all the BS she put you through, and then allow yourself to see how much happier you are with your new girl, you will get over her in a snap, and it works like a charm.

good luck man
i dont think im a push over lol. im just a nice guy i guess.i have no problem getting women, im not the type to go sleeping around with a bunch of girls so when i find one i like to stick with her...and girl 2 has been acting kinda shady since that nice...i just wouldnt appreciate it if she was still humping her ex....but thanks for the advice...i dont think im going to get back with my ex anytime soon...
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Old 11-04-2008, 03:43 PM   #13
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yeah true...im not gonna say anything. girl 2 is great but ever since we slept together shes been kinda stand-off-ish...which makes me think shes still hookin up with her ex....i like things to be clear...out in the open...i like to know where i stand with someone i want to be with.

ill post pics later...


[yeah i do. i just think if i dont jump on this i wont have the opportunity again.






i dont think im a push over lol. im just a nice guy i guess.i have no problem getting women, im not the type to go sleeping around with a bunch of girls so when i find one i like to stick with her...and girl 2 has been acting kinda shady since that nice...i just wouldnt appreciate it if she was still humping her ex....but thanks for the advice...i dont think im going to get back with my ex anytime soon...
you will
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