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Old 11-20-2009, 04:30 PM   #1
TiAgTouring
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Favorite Anti-Religion Quotes/ Pics

Post em up!

I'm tired of secularists/ free-thinkers/ humanists/ and atheists hiding from public view.

Here are some to start the fire...

“If there was a God, I’d still have both nuts.”
-Lance Armstrong

“The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn’t have that rule when Jesus was born.”
-Elayne Boosler

“It will not do to investigate the subject of religion too closely, as it is apt to lead to infidelity.”
-Abraham Lincoln

“The more man puts into God, the less he retains in himself.”
-Joseph McCabe (1867-1955)

“We must respect another fellow’s religion, but only in the same sense and to the same extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.”
-H.L. Mencken (1880-1956), American Journalist and critic


“[Religion is] an attempt to find an out where there is no door.”
-Albert Einstein

“The more I study religions, the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.”
-Sir Richard Burton, British explorer and writer

“Mythology is what we call someone else’s religion”
-Joseph Campbell


“If your right eye offends you, pluck it out
If your right arm offends you, cut it off
And if reason offends you, become a Catholic”
-Heinrich Heine (1797-1856), German-Jewish Poet

“Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion.”
-L. Ron Hubbard (1911-1986), Founder of Scientology (said on 5 different occasions)


“How do you choose between believing in Jesus, Bigfoot, leprechauns, witchcraft, Island, alien abductions, the Tooth Fairy, gold at the end of the rainbow or the myriad other assertions that people have made over the course of human history? [Faith is] like rolling the dice and hoping you have placed your faith in a true proposition…However, if you are still inclined to place faith in an un-provable assertion, I am God, send me money.”
-Wayne Adkins

“The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.”
-Richard Dawkins

“This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it!”
-John Adams

“By simple common sense, I don’t believe in God.”
-Charlie Chaplin

“Is [God] willing to prevent evil but not able? Then is he impotent. Is he able but not willing? Then is he malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Whence then is evil.”
-Epicurus


“The very concept of sin comes from the Bible. Christianity offers to solve a problem of its own making! Would you be thankful to a person who cut you with a knife in order to sell you a bandage?”
-Dan Barker

“The good Christian should beware of mathematicians…The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.”
-St. Augustine of Hippo (354-430 AD)



“Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.”
-Anonymous

“Christian: ‘I’ll pray for you.’ Atheist: ‘Then I’ll think for both of us.’”
-Anonymous



“Pray: to ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.”
–Ambrose Bierce

“Reverence: A spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man.”
–Ambrose Bierce

“Scriptures: The scared books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.”
–Ambrose Bierce

“Science has done more for the development of western civilization in one hundred years than Christianity did in eighteen hundred years.”
-John Burroughs

“Man is certainly starkly mad; he cannot make a worm, yet he will make gods by the dozen.”
-Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592),

“Of course like every other man on intelligence and education I do believe in organic evolution. It surprises me that at this late date such questions should be raised.”
-Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924)

“Truth, in matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived.”
-Oscar Wilde
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:31 PM   #2
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"I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness."

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Old 11-20-2009, 04:33 PM   #3
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hahahah yep!

Here's the version of that I've got:

"When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me."
-Emo Phillips
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:35 PM   #4
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"Man is certainly starkly mad; he cannot make a worm, yet he will make gods by the dozen."
-Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592),

They are all awesome, but my fav is this one. Nothin' to do with the french autor.
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:lmao: your posts are the best
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:35 PM   #5
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:36 PM   #6
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Doing drugs and having sex... oh wow big deal. Well it is actually a HUGE deal.
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:36 PM   #7
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/thread
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:38 PM   #8
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"The very concept of sin comes from the Bible. Christianity offers to solve a problem of its own making! Would you be thankful to a person who cut you with a knife in order to sell you a bandage?"


Moar ... This thread is full of delicious and so smart quotes...
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:lmao: your posts are the best
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:39 PM   #9
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Well, at least this thread isn't racist
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:40 PM   #10
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:41 PM   #11
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but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

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Old 11-20-2009, 04:42 PM   #12
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I have a funny feeling this isn't going to end well.
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:42 PM   #13
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Okay here are some more...I literally have 30 pages of quotes that I've collected cause I love this stuff....

"Religions are like fireflies. They require darkness in order to shine."
-Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1931)

"Science is the best defense against believing what we want to."
-Ian Stewart (1945- )


"We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes."
-Gene Roddenberry (1921-1991), Creator of Star Trek

"The fundamental cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt."
-Bertrand Russell

"So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence."
-Bertrand Russell

"If God exists, man does not exist; if man exists; God does not exist."
-Sartre

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful."
-Seneca, (4-65AD) Roman Philosopher

"Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability."
-George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), Irish-born English playwright

"That which is incapable of proof [a designer] itself is no proof of anything else [design]...We must prove design before we can infer a designer."
-Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822), English poet and polemicist

"If you tell a child 'God made the world' he will usually ask 'Then who made God?' If we reply, as the catechism states, 'No one made God. He always was,' then why couldn't we just say that about the world in the first place."
-Marian Noel Sherman (1892-1975)

"Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people that believe it was the blacks."
-Sarah Silverman

"If a triangle could speak, it would say, that God is eminently triangular, while a circle would say that the divine nature is eminently circular."
-Baruch Spinoza (1632-1677), rationalist philosopher

"All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few."
-Stendhal (1783-1842)

"It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of what he was never reasoned into."
-Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), Anglo-Irish priest, satirist and political pamphleteer
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:44 PM   #14
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:45 PM   #15
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:47 PM   #16
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ohhh epic. Someone needs to make this into a poster so I can hang it on my wall...
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:47 PM   #17
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I'd be mad at God too if I had to drive a station wagon.
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:49 PM   #18
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:49 PM   #19
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Says the guy driving a '4 door Skyline'.
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Old 11-20-2009, 04:54 PM   #20
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I'd be mad at God too if I had to drive a station wagon.
lol bro...don't take these quotes too personally.



But anyway, lets get back to business...

"There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith."
-Woody Allen

"Millions long for immorality who don't know what to do on a rainy afternoon."
-Susan Ertz

"The idea of God implies the abdication of human reason and justice; it is the most decisive negation of human liberty."
-Mikhail Bakunin

"Atheism leaves a man to his sense, to philosophy, to natural piety, to laws, to repudiation, all which may be guides to an outward moral virtue...but superstition dismounts all these, and erecteth an absolute monarchy in the minds of men."
-Sir Francis Bacon

"Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them."
-Steve Eley
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